'I Was Diagnosed With Psoriasis At Age 12—Mindfulness Was What Finally Improved My Skin'—Photographer Sarah Boutwell Shares Her Journey
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My name is Sarah Boutwell, and I am a photographer and the founder of Beauty of Women in Indianapolis, Indiana.
I was diagnosed with psoriasis at age 12. Right when a young girl is supposed to start feeling pretty, I wanted to cover up my whole body because of the red patches. This was 1997, and society's view on what beautiful women were really messed with my head during this period of time because of the way my skin looked. I lost confidence, I struggled with the thought of it not being curable, and I wore long pants and long sleeves even when it was uncomfortable. It was heartbreaking because I thought it was all people would see.
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To treat it, I first tried tar baths, which smelled horrible. Then I tried oatmeal baths. After that, the doctor gave me different types of topical steroid creams over the years, none of which seemed to do anything other than lessen the skin symptoms.
When I hit my early 20s, I finally started a self-injection drug called Humira. I took it for 6 years until I started waking up feeling super fatigued and sore. While I know Humira works well for many people—and you should always check in with your doctor about the right treatment options for you—for me, it wasn't quite the answer. Something had to change, so I stopped that cold turkey and focused on my diet and mental health. These were the game-changers.
How Mindfulness Improved My Psoriasis
After 20 years with this autoimmune disease, I was also diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Now, not only was I covered in red spots, but my joints were swollen and painful. What really started working for me was finding ways to reduce everyday stress.
This meant my mindset, how much I thought about my skin, what I was thinking when I was focusing on my skin, and finally starting to change my self-talk. Honestly, my skin improves every time I feel free, confident, strong and healthy. On top of that, the more greens I ate, the more water I drank, and the more gluten I stayed away from, the more my skin healed. Are there still flare-ups? Yes, but most of the time I can correlate those with a stressful period or a change in my diet.
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It's no joke when they say life is all about mindset. I thought this was ridiculous for the longest time. Then I decided that it couldn't hurt to try. Yoga was my first go-to, and that turned into journaling everyday. I also started doing breathwork often, which turned into daily walks and outside grounding practices. And this led me to nature meditation, as well saying daily affirmations out loud. I know, hippie stuff, right? Well, I can't deny it. Once I started talking nice to my body and telling myself how beautiful I am while standing in the mirror, I started caring less about what it actually looked like.
These things helped me bring out the shorts, the tank tops, the confidence and ME that I had been missing! I even started a women empowerment movement using my photography and vulnerability to help women bow to themselves daily called Beauty of Women.
For others who are first getting diagnosed with psoriasis, know that everybody is different and reacts differently to medications, and to psoriasis itself. There is no exact same journey to healing. But, what I can say is that you aren't alone. There are resources and communities there to support and uplift.
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Overall, if you use mindfulness practices to keep you grounded and calm, psoriasis may also remain tame. Try new methods based on the knowledge you acquire, and if it doesn't work, don't give up. Natural healing has been here for thousands of years. Try to research herbs that will also help and keep that mindset positive. And of of course, it's always important to talk to your doctor about the medications that might work best for you and your specific case.
It took finally owning my skin to break free from the shame of how it looked. We can't hide forever, nor should we have to. We deserve to have our skin in the sun like everyone else and not be looked at like we have some contagious disease. Please don't ask us about our spots. Look into our eyes and see that we are warriors, just like you. Treat us like humans, not lepers. Our spots are part of our beauty!
Next up: Jonathan Van Ness Shares His Psoriasis Story
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