David Murdock Column: On today's subject or perhaps the lack of a subject

OK, I’ll be honest with y’all ― I have no idea what to write about today. At all. Happens every once in a while. Some people call it “writer’s block,” but I’ve never thought that the term was accurate. It’s not that I can’t write; it’s that I don’t know exactly what to settle down and write about.

One of my professors used to say that all essays should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. He still says it, in fact. So, here I am in the “middle” of this one, and I have no idea what to put here.

I’ve had other professors of writing who would’ve let me have it for ending that last sentence of the first paragraph with a preposition. That’s commonly believed to be a rule of English style, but it’s not. It’s a rule of Latin grammar, and usually the best English stylists from back in the day studied Latin, so the “rule” was imported.

It’s not a bad rule, per se, but I agree with Winston Churchill on this one: “This is the sort of nonsense up with which I will not put!” Except Churchill never really said that, according to The Quote Investigator website. Oh well, another perfectly good anecdote gone. Good article, though.

The real problem with the last sentence of that first paragraph is that, if it’s supposed to be the thesis, it’s a really poor one.

However, I discovered something years ago while writing this column ― only other English teachers really care about the finer points of grammar and style. As long as what’s written is understandable and moderately entertaining, it’s OK. I have to admit, though, that I sometimes do sit and ponder for a few minutes how to phrase something.

Like what the birds do … or the lizards … or the earthworm I accidentally “killed” on the porch this morning. But only half of it! I watched the other half crawl off while I was drinking coffee. I’ve wondered sometimes what the birds think of us … and the lizards and earthworms, too, for that matter. Lately, I’ve seen lots of articles on the internet about how cats see humans as particularly large, dumb cats.

I think all that got started with a 2014 book by John Bradshaw titled "Cat Sense." Bradshaw holds a Ph.D. in biology, and I don’t think that the articles that have flowed onto the internet from his research are exactly what he’s saying. I’m not sure his book is the source — that’s just my guess.

For what it’s worth, Simi Kat has never told me one way or the other how she feels about me. I tell her all the time how I feel about her, but she doesn’t seem to understand what I’m saying. I’m just taking her behavior toward me as evidence that she’s fond of me, in some way, even if I don’t understand her “speech.”

And another thing — Simi Kat and I are both fascinated with the birds outside.  She’s an inside cat — a “rescued” feral – so she hasn’t tracked down and killed a bird in a while … but you wouldn’t know it the way she watches them from the window.

I’m fascinated enough about birds that — not only do I watch them fairly closely — I buy books about them. Not only field guides to identify them, either. Today, I’m expecting Joel Greenberg’s "A Feathered River Across the Sky:  The Passenger Pigeon’s Flight to Extinction."

There’s a section of James Fenimore Cooper’s "The Pioneers" that I teach about a passenger pigeon hunt, so anytime I’ve seen an article about them over the years, I’ve read it. Found out a couple of days ago that there’s a book about the birds, which went from a population of tens of millions in Cooper’s day to extinction by 1914. Naturally, I ordered it.

So, I’ve been skimming through the articles about passenger pigeons I’ve read over the years. The hardwood forests in the eastern part of America are essentially different without the passenger pigeon. Their flocks were so huge that they broke branches in trees when they roosted, for example. Their impact on the ecology of hardwood forests is amazing ― so amazing that it’s difficult to imagine what the forests were like with enormous flocks of passenger pigeons.

Speaking of reading — and when am I not speaking of reading? — I’ve really been enjoying Ross Macdonald’s series of hard-boiled crime novels featuring the detective Lew Archer. Wow, can Macdonald write! A seriously talented wordsmith who would’ve been taken as a serious artist had he written in any other genre than … hard-boiled detective fiction. Even science fiction, fantasy fiction, and horror fiction get some respect now. Academics are “coming round” to the wonders of crime fiction, finally, but it might take a while longer before Macdonald and his like get the amount of respect they deserve as true artists.

OK — here’s the ending.  Not too bad for a disjointed series of anecdotes and ideas that have essentially no relation to each other. And it only took about an hour longer to write than if I’d had a single idea in mind!

Be sure to look for an upcoming column on passenger pigeons.

David Murdock is an English instructor at Gadsden State Community College. He can be contacted at [email protected]. The opinions expressed are his own.   

This article originally appeared on The Gadsden Times: David Murdock on searching for an idea .., Hey, look it's a bird!