Are you dating a pathological liar? Therapists share sinister signs to watch out for

In the wake of Reesa Teesa's viral videos about her ex-husband (left), experts are sharing signs that you're in a relationship with a pathological liar.
In the wake of Reesa Teesa's viral videos about her ex-husband (left), experts are sharing signs that you're in a relationship with a pathological liar.

Don’t be left asking: “Who TF did I marry?”

That was the question on Reesa Teesa’s mind after her husband’s lies unfolded after she said “I Do.”

The Georgia woman’s shocking story of deceit captivated millions of viewers on TikTok earlier this week,

Reesa’s now-ex-spouse, named “Legion,” promised luxe vacations, forged documents and claimed to have a cushy corporate job when he was actually a temporary forklift driver.

The wild story left many viewers fearing that they may also be married to a pathological liar, prompting therapists to share the tell-tale signs to look out for.

“Pathological lying is often a symptom of antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder,” psychotherapist Marni Feuerman told HuffPost. “A pathological liar uses lying to get what they want in a self-absorbed, manipulative and cunning manner.”

Pathological liars are not to be confused with compulsive or habitual liars, who “are not as ‘sophisticated.'”

Teesa believes her ex was a pathological liar. reesamteesa/Tiktok
Teesa believes her ex was a pathological liar. reesamteesa/Tiktok

So how can you spot a pathological liar to keep yourself from getting painfully stuck in their web of lies?

1. It feels too good to be true, it probably is

“Signs you may be dealing with a compulsive liar may emerge slowly in your awareness because in the beginning, the person may confabulate good, exciting things to draw you into their orbit. They love bomb you,” psychologist Debra Campbell told HuffPost.

“There’s a part of you that wants it to be true; you’re dazzled for a while,” she continued. “Then gradually little inconsistencies emerge, maybe over ‘nothing’ things where you find yourself puzzled.”

Titled “Who TF did I marry?” the multi-part TikTok saga has hooked millions of viewers. reesamteesa/Tiktok
Titled “Who TF did I marry?” the multi-part TikTok saga has hooked millions of viewers. reesamteesa/Tiktok

2. You find it near impossible to verify supposed facts they’ve given about their life

A pathological liar may “dodge questions” about their past, or give vague details that can’t be confirmed.

“They may also claim to no longer speak to their family, which is a little suspect,” Kathryn Smerling, a psychotherapist, told HuffPost.

“In their stories, they may also change details when bringing them back up again – their narrative is inconsistent,” the expert added.

Experts reveal the tell tale signs of a pathological liar so romantics don’t get suck in their web of fibs. ryanking999 – stock.adobe.com
Experts reveal the tell tale signs of a pathological liar so romantics don’t get suck in their web of fibs. ryanking999 – stock.adobe.com

3. They get defensive when you point out an inconsistency

“They turn the tables by shifting blame onto the individual questioning them, attributing fault and casting doubt on your judgment,” marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers told HuffPost.

“This manipulation can induce a sense of gaslighting, leaving you questioning the validity of your reality and conclusions. Pathological lying can be part of an abusive relationship pattern.”

4. They dismiss your feelings

In addition to defensiveness, dismissiveness is a tell-tale sign.

The experts say that if you express hurt after you’ve caught a pathological liar concocting a fiction, they’ll disregard your feelings.

“Once you discern a regular pattern of lying behavior in a partner, you’re bound to feel continual pain, stress, and insecurity,” Feuermann said.

5. Trust your gut.

“Our body sends us danger and safety signals all the time and it usually starts in our stomach. Are you getting more gastro issues than normal?” marriage and family therapist Erin Pash told the outlet.

“Our empathy centers can’t work when someone is lying and that shows up as nausea, indigestion and other just uncomfortable feelings in our stomachs that could be telling you a lot if you just pay attention.”

Experts say that being incapable of telling the truth is a red flag in a relationship. bnenin – stock.adobe.com
Experts say that being incapable of telling the truth is a red flag in a relationship. bnenin – stock.adobe.com

Feuerman said “truth is a basic requirement” for a healthy relationship — the ultimate red flag, then, is someone who is a chronic liar.

She added: “If your partner is incapable of telling the truth ― be it due to pathology or habit ― it’s time to move on.”