Your Daily DogScope for May 01, 2024

Life is ruff when you’re four-legged and furry with a completely clueless human. Fortunately, our daily Dogscope can brighten those boneless days with a little encouragement and a helping paw.

Aries

Some things about human culture will always be a mystery to you. Why humans are perfectly normal one day and off the wall the next is one of them. Everyone who comes to the door today seems foreign to you.

Taurus

If you're slow to get to the door in the beginning of the evening, you'll be there like a shot by the end of it. You're barking your head off at one monster after another, and this time they're not imaginary.

Gemini

Your owners could stand to take some advice from you. You keep barking at the door but they keep opening it. Sooner or later a goblin will get in, but your owners stubbornly refuse to listen to your hysterics. Sigh.

Cancer

Your emotions are easily aroused under the best of circumstances. On a day like this, you're ready to blast off into outer space. There's nothing to do but endure. Oh, and bark ferociously.

Leo

You used to think the world was predictable, even boring. But you'll meet people today who shatter that view. In fact, you'll meet quite a few. By the end of the day, you won't know what to make of reality.

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Virgo

There's plenty of candy in the doghouse and you don't feel like sharing. That's an unfortunate combination. You're forced to see your bounty dwindle, but don't worry. There will be treats left over for you by evening's end.

Libra

For once the evil you see is not something you're projecting onto visitors. They are bad to the bone, for all to see. So why do they get rewarded for it? Chalk it up to the idiocy of humans.

Scorpio

Your humans seem determined to help every visitor who knocks on your door. Why must they shower total strangers with candy? It's not only nonsensical, it's infuriating. But all you can do is sit by and watch.

Sagittarius

You can smell a small child from a mile away, but all you can see are goblins and witches. Have they eaten them for dinner or hidden under their coats? Your owners will stop you from finding out.

Capricorn

Strangers come to the door with such regularity that you almost get used to it. Almost, but not quite. The barking you do today is equal to the barking you do the other three hundred and sixty four days a year.

Aquarius

The first visitor is greeted with amazement. The second with surprise. The third with glee. By the fiftieth, it all gets a bit old. At some point tonight you'll give up guarding the castle and let your humans man the door for you. Even you have your limits.

Pisces

The camouflage can't fool you, but your owners are totally taken in by it. They're so intimidated by strangers at the door that they reward them with candy. Foolish humans. They should count their lucky stars they have you to set things straight.

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