A country built on self-deprecation
The Belgian national football team, known as “The Red Devils”, rose to top spot in the FIFA world rankings again recently. Time for celebration? Chest-thumping national pride? The chinking of frothing chalices of Trappist beer? Er, not really. The Belgians shrug and grin in disbelief: there must be a flaw in the system.
Self-deprecation is a default characteristic of the Belgians, and it is of course rather disarmingly charming. They’ve got Brussels, Bruges, Ghent and Antwerp, Bruegel, Rubens and Magritte, but they don’t oversell them. Tourists come to Belgium and are pleasantly, genuinely surprised. Part of that is the wisdom of managing expectations, but it is also an in-built modesty.
The Belgians almost define themselves by the negative. This is not the Netherlands and it’s not France. Although the country is split between Dutch-speakers in the north and French-speakers in the south, they are not happy to be mistaken for either Dutch or – as Hercule Poirot explosively testifies – French.
This is a rare unifying sentiment – for the Dutch-speaking Flemish and the French-speaking Walloons either are at loggerheads or pointedly ignore each other. Don’t try to speak French in Bruges! (You’d be better off with English.) Things are not much more cohesive in supposedly bilingual Brussels, which is a kind of French-speaking (not Walloon) island surrounded by Flemish speakers.
How it ever came to be this way is a strange accident of history. For almost two millennia Belgium was fought over and ruled by the Romans, Franks, French, Burgundians, Spanish and Austrians. This was “the cockpit of Europe” – and that’s not an aviation reference. In the aftermath of the Battle of Waterloo (just south of Brussels), and after a revolution of their own in 1830 famously triggered by an opera, independent Belgium was secured as a neutral buffer state by international agreement – and furnished with a German king. And as a buffer state it got trampled over again in two world wars.
This history explains a lot: the Catholicism (somewhat lapsed), the food, the welcome of strangers, their support for the EU. Brussels is undemonstratively delighted to be the capital of Europe, but has cleverly shovelled all that business to a south-eastern corner of the city whilst happily trousering the cash. That same pragmatic mercantile streak once created the glittering guildhouses of Brussels’ Grand Place.
Divided they may be, but Belgians of all language groups (there are also German-speakers on the eastern border) share many habits and characteristics that make them peculiarly Belgian. They have a distain for pretension, a strong sense of family, a Bruegel-esque love of communal fun, a highly developed taste in food, and an abiding passion for good beer and high-quality chocolate and frites with mayonnaise.
They also coalesce to a degree around the Red Devils, and were quietly pleased that they reached the World Cup semi-finals in 2018. A good result, because no one expected them to win. This is Belgium after all.
10 windows on the Belgian soul
Atomium and Mini-Europe
Surrealism runs like a silver thread through Belgium. Here (in northern Brussels) a humungous iron atom looms over a miniature village of EU landmark buildings.
Beguinages
A beguinage (begijnhof in Dutch) was a refuge for single, pious women, built as an enclave within a town or city. Some date back to the 13th century. Their modest homes cluster around a chapel, creating an oasis of tranquillity. It’s like stepping into a snow dome.
Belgian Symbolism
The Belgian Symbolist painters – such as Fernand Khnopff, Léon Spilliaert and Jean Delville – reek of the fin-de-siècle fascination for the sensuous, subconscious and macabre, paving the way for Art Nouveau and surrealism. Splendidly weird and wonderful.
Bruegel
In 2019 it’s the turn of Pieter Bruegel the Elder to come centre stage in the three-year Flemish Masters programme. Although 16th century, there is something quintessentially Belgian about his work: individuality, the realities and pleasures of ordinary folk – and some shockingly Hieronymus-Bosch-esque fantasies too.
Carnivals and processions
The Belgians go nuts for annual carnival events, usually around Lent, and big processions of locals dressed in extravagant historic costumes. Often with religious origins, they can leave outsiders baffled and perplexed – and the locals can’t really explain them either.
Croquettes aux Crevettes / Garnalenkroketten
Although a common feature of brasserie menus, this classic Belgian dish is a real test of culinary skills. Tiny North Sea brown shrimps are embedded in deep-fried, breaded béchamel and served with fried parsley. Warning: served very hot – Belgians have learnt patience the hard way.
Jenever
This is the original of gin. A famous product of Hasselt, Flanders, it is drunk neat, or in one of numerous flavoured forms (lemon, strawberry, chocolate, hazelnut and many more), often as an aperitif. Far too good to swamp with tonic water.
Lambic
No need to sing the praises of Belgian beer, in its countless forms. But here’s one special and unique one: a sour beer from which gueuze and the cherry-flavoured kriek-lambic are derived. Magically, it’s made with an airborne yeast found only on the River Senne, the hidden river of Brussels.
Paul Delvaux
Magritte is familiar, but less so the work of his contemporary, Paul Delvaux. Dreamy women lounge around night-time tram stations in a concerning state of undress, rocketing mundane Belgian reality into the erotic and mystical universe of the subconscious. Where else but Belgium?
Sirop de Liège
Seek it out at the hotel breakfast bar. This sticky pear-and-fruit paste is great on toast – and even better grilled beneath a layer of stinky Herve cheese from the Ardennes. Every Belgian knows it – but who else?