'Before I Could Lose 100 Pounds, I First Had To Work On My Mental Health And Sobriety'

From Women's Health

My name is Kelli Coennen (@kellcoe2.0), and I am 30 years old. I'm from Santa Clarita, California, and I'm a freelance makeup artist and Sephora beauty advisor. Four years ago, I sought mental health treatment for borderline personality disorder and addiction. During that time, I also started the CICO method and counting macros to lose weight that was holding me back—and I feel healthier than ever.

Before losing weight, I couldn’t walk without becoming winded. I always felt sick and lethargic and had zero motivation to do anything. I love fashion, and I felt very limited with what I could wear. I usually just settled for leggings and a t-shirt. I can’t tell you how many stores I left crying because nothing fit right.

I was prediabetic—even though I didn’t find out until I started my journey. I also had high blood pressure. My heaviest weight was 260 pounds, when I was 26 years old.

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) in 2008, but it’s a very tricky disease, and I didn’t really want help with it until 2016. Some point in late 2016, I was just fed up with feeling so low. That year I had struggled a lot with both my mental and physical health. So I went into an outpatient program to work on my mental health. I also felt it was time to really put the work in on both my mental and physical health, and that is when my current weight-loss journey began.

At the end of 2019, I was back in an outpatient treatment program to get sober. While there, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. But by December 2019, I also had lost 70 pounds. Post-treatment, I was so inspired to finish what I started with my current weight-loss journey. (I am now just shy of nine months sober!)

My current journey isn’t my first time losing weight—so I stuck to an eating method that previously worked for me.

In 2013, I lost 70 pounds, although I gained it all back plus more. But I did what worked back then, following a "calories in, calories out" (CICO) diet, as well as loosely counting macros.

But this time felt *a lot* more genuine. For a long, long time I was afraid of carbs, but now I understand that’s what fuels my body for the exercise I do. I try to limit my sugar intake as much as possible and keep my fats on the lower side as well. I also try to stay under 2,000 milligrams of sodium per day.

Here’s what I typically eat in a day now.

• Breakfast: I have two go-to breakfasts that I switch up. My quick on-the-go breakfast is a mint chocolate Quest bar. My alternate breakfast is more of a scramble. I’ll do 2 oz. of oven roasted potatoes, one or two whole eggs, bell peppers, onions, and a little bit of hot sauce or ketchup.

• Lunch: With lunch, I am a creature of habit. Almost every day of the week it's the same thing: a turkey wrap loaded with veggies, two clementines, and 1 oz. of vegan Cheetos (Hippeas).

• Snacks: I will normally have one to two snacks a day, depending on how I’m feeling. For my post-workout I will do a shake to load up on protein and carbs. And then normally in the afternoon I will do some sort of nut as a healthy fat.

• Dinner: I get the meal delivery service from Hello Fresh. I order the two-person meal and split it amongst the three people living in my house. I like this because it's easy, since everything comes right to your door and it's the exact portions you need. They are delicious meals and when splitting them, they really end up being a solid amount of calories for my needs.

• Dessert: Peach rings by Smart Sweets every single night!

I started exercising by going to the gym and doing the elliptical or walking on the treadmill, but a lot has changed in four years for me.

Before quarantine, I loved doing the StairMaster. But these past three months I've found a whole new love for running. I run a minimum of 5k (3.1 miles) a day, as well as walking and hiking. I also follow a fitness blogger’s weight-lifting guides that have completely transformed the way I view weight lifting.

These three changes helped me see the most noticeable results in my weight loss.

Change one: I took progress photos. It's so easy to get discouraged by the scale, but seeing a picture of how my body has changed meant so much more to me than any number on the scale. Still, sometimes when I look in a mirror, I can't see the changes I’ve made in the last few months, and that's okay. But I can always tell looking back at photos from where I started to now.

Change two: I drink a lot of water. I try to drink about four liters a day. It's great for not only my physical health, but also for clearing up my complexion as well. I always feel so much better when I’m staying hydrated throughout the day, especially in these summer months.

Change three: I reward myself once I hit a milestone. For me, it's normally with clothes since I am so into fashion, and shopping was one of my biggest letdowns before my journey. Every 10 pounds down, I treat myself to a little something.

I’ve lost 100 pounds in four years.

Honestly, my life has done a complete 180. I am sober, and I am in the best physical and mental health I’ve been in in my entire life.

Up until May 2020 I was doing therapy once a week, and since then I’ve moved to biweekly sessions. I take a mood stabilizer, and also stay mentally healthy by practicing meditation/mindfulness and using DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) skills, which is a type of therapy created for those with BPD.

I’m very grateful every single day for the steps I’ve taken to get to this point. I promise if I, a person with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, addiction, and co-dependency issues can change my life, you can too.

You Might Also Like

• PSA: Our Carb-Loving Keto Cookbook Is 32% Off for a Few More Hours

• This Dynamic Warm-Up Will Help You Prep For Your Best Workout Yet

• These Before-and-After Photos Show How Much Your Body Can Change From Drinking Less Alcohol