Celebrity, Cheating, and Social Media: Why Iggy’s Relationship Is Over (and Beyoncé’s Isn’t)

As long as celebrities have been hooking up, the public and the media have been happy to step back, watch, and wait. We bide our time and click links waiting for one of two seemingly inevitable outcomes: messy split-ups or battle-tested marital bliss. One particular couple — rapper Iggy Azalea and NBA athlete Nick Young — has been embroiled in the former story line over the last few months.

Key to this specific breakup, reportedly, is Azalea’s inability to rebuild trust in her ex-fiance after very public allegations of his infidelity, including a reported pregnancy on the side. Their strife appears to have culminated earlier this week when reports emerged of Azalea dumping the basketball player’s possessions out on the street. Among the discarded items were a 1962 Chevy Impala and “several arm chairs and scores of boxes,” according to the New York Daily News.

Putting aside the inventory of lost love and salacious headlines, there remains a real question to ponder, particularly when trust has been broken in such public ways: How can some couples work things out while most others call it quits? And how big a role does social media and airing ones “dirty laundry” in public play into the fight-or-flight instinct? Azalea is well known for putting people “on blast” on social media, and she hasn’t hidden her relationship issues from the public record. She announced her breakup with Young on Instagram.

According to Sarah Jones, dating and relationship expert and coach, there are three main factors that can usually be witnessed in couples — famous or not so famous alike — who prove to be resilient in the face of trust issues. These are maturity and self-respect, a perspective on the long term, and a plan for how you deal with short-term issues.

“How you deal with short-term issues can speak to your long-term perspective,” says Jones. “And that long-term mindset reminds you that you’re choosing to be there, there’s a reason why you’re together.” And that’s important to remember in both good times and bad. Jones continues, “Airing dirty laundry is a short-term perspective … A sign of maturity and respect is to not take your problems to social media.”

Compare Azalea and Young with another famous duo: Beyoncé and Jay Z. What differences can you spot? To the best of our nosey knowledge, Knowles and Carter suffered their own share of alleged infidelity, public displays of discord, and more. And as adorable as Blue Ivy may be, having a child together can often enhance the stress, as any modern family can attest. Yet, there have also been reports of marriage counseling for the two — arguably the most famous couple on the planet — while touring. Add to that the famously tight-lipped approach the two have on social media, specifically on personal issues, and the differences between these two situations get more and more apparent.

When it comes to couples who seem to be able to go the distance in a relationship, they likely have a plan in place for how to communicate to the outside world and, most importantly, to each other in times of crisis. Who would you rather be when the cracks appear in your bond — Iggy and Nick, who for all intents and purposes fell apart in front of the eyes of Instagram, or Beyoncé and Jay Z, who clearly had an emergency communication plan in place when things started to go awry.

So what’s your emergency plan? How can you Bey-Jay-ify your relationship to ensure a long and healthy love life? According to Jones, you need plenty of resources at your disposal, including books, the advice from couples you admire, couples counseling (before issues arise), and when incidents do inevitably occur, a communication pact wherein you agree that “at that point both people have to be open and transparent and vulnerable with the other person,” Jones advises. “It’s not going to be fun, but the big bonus to conflict is you can always learn and grow from it together.”

And remember, Instagram is for pictures.