Cancer Memoir: ‘I did not see this coming’
Chapter 1
Hello, Dear Reader. My introduction might sound very familiar; I am a military spouse like many of you. I fell in love with an amazing man in uniform, we were married in a courthouse, and I was thrown into military life—a life I knew nothing about other than deployments and lots of moving. We were young, in love, and ready to take on anything that came our way. Does this sound a little familiar?
My military spouse story, though, is a little different. I met my husband, Jeremy, at Crash Fire Rescue School. He was a student and I was attending Angelo State University. Our first move (PCS) was to Yuma, Arizona, where he deployed with the Sandsharks (Marine Wing Support Squadron 371). From the beginning of our relationship, I had in the back of my mind that one day I might have to be a caregiver to my amazing man in uniform. Every 48-hour shift and rotating 72-hour weekends, I would hold my breath a little when he would walk out the door. I was now married to a Marine who was also a firefighter, each shift wondering if he would walk back into our home. I got used to his schedule, which immensely helped me when Jeremy deployed to Afghanistan.
When we first moved to Yuma, I was fortunate to find a job with Marine Corps Community Service. I also finished my degree and graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts from Angelo State University. When Jeremy got back from Afghanistan, a job in the marketing department opened up at Marine Corps Base Quantico, where we would find our second PCS to Quantico, VA. Here is where plot twist number one came into play: Jeremy decided to join the Coast Guard. Another branch I knew very little about but was ready for the adventure.
What an adventure the last 12 years have been! We had our daughter in Virginia, moved to New York, and had our son, who is a Hurricane Sandy Baby (which is a story for another day). You probably could guess: I had to quit my job in Virginia when we moved. From New York, we moved to Rhode Island, Hawaii, and now Kentucky, where we call home. I know, the Coast Guard in Kentucky? Jeremy is attached to a river tender that goes up and down the mighty Mississippi. He has been attached to Cutters throughout his entire Coast Guard career. Depending on their class size, Coast Guard Cutters are underway. Sometimes, they are underway for a week, a month, three months, or more. Even though the branch of service might have changed, my husband’s constantly-evolving schedule has not. I have been told a lot about how lucky I am that my spouse is not attached to a deploying unit. Lucky… having your husband pretty much gone half the year being underway. The only “lucky” part I see is that he’s not being shot at. And yet, I still hold my breath every time he walks out the door.
We live in a very remote location in Kentucky. Our children are the only military kids at their school. We love it here; the people are amazing. It has been a switch from the places we have lived in the past. Our past locations have had bases, military houses, and commissaries, and we have been surrounded by military culture. Now, we live a remote, more civilian life, with my Jeremy still serving.
Okay, I know what you are thinking, Stacy; let’s get to the plot twist, the “I did not see this coming.” Okay, well, here we go. About nine months after my son was born, I felt a pretty significant lump on my right breast. I went in and had my first mammogram in 2012 because my mom did have breast cancer. The results showed that it was just a cyst, and I was good-to-go. Fast forward to 2023. Busy full-time working mom, shuttling kids to school and after-school activities, solo parenting pretty much every other week, life for me was busy! But, around March, I noticed that the area I had checked in 2012 was harder and bigger and that my breasts had started dimpling. As someone who does not put my health on the to-do list (busy life and not the most comfortable with making and going to the women-checkups), I did not make an appointment with my Primary Care until October.
I did not see this coming moment: on November 15, 2023, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer.
Come back every Friday to walk this journey with Stacy Bilodeau as part of the MilSpouse Memoirs, stories brought to you in chapters, one week at a time.
