Barbara Taylor Bradford on widowhood: ‘Bob always said, If anything happens to me, don’t give up work’
I’m an early morning person, maybe because I had to be when I was in my first job at the Yorkshire Evening Post – the first edition was out by 10.30am. My housekeeper brings me breakfast at 7.30am and I’ll watch Fox News – I love that network. I have an egg and some bread with a little jam and some tea. I don’t eat a lot.
I get ready to go to work because, when you work at home, you’ve got to be disciplined and say, ‘I’m going to work now.’ I’ll shower, get dressed in trousers, a T-shirt and a cashmere cardigan, and be at my desk by 9.30am.
If I’m writing a book, I pick up where I left off. I’ve had to put an alarm clock on my desk to remind me to get up and walk every two hours because I’ve developed back pain from sitting at my desk. Those breaks are difficult because I get very involved [with my] writing. If I don’t appear for lunch by 2pm, my housekeeper will knock on the door with a sandwich or salad.
I’ve never written on a computer, I use a typewriter, but I wrote my new book entirely by hand. I try to get away by 5pm, and I’ll turn off the lights and go ‘home’ – put my feet up in another room and look at the British papers; I get the Daily Telegraph every day. My housekeeper will leave me a shepherd’s pie to heat up. I’m very much an Englishwoman living in New York. I’ve been here a long time, but I’m not Americanised.
The terrible thing is that there’s no one there at the end of the day. In the past, if I worked beyond six o’clock, my husband Bob would come to my office and say, ‘Close your shop.’ But he’s not here. He’s not going to come back. He died in July 2019 and I’ve had to accept it.
It happened unexpectedly, he was only alive a week after a massive stroke. I miss him every moment of every day and think about him constantly. Grief doesn’t go away, it’s always there. Something will happen or I’ll recall something and I’ll be overwhelmed. But Bob always said to me, ‘If anything ever happens to me, don’t give up your work.’
As I was sitting holding his hand in the hospital, my mind was all over the place. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to make it. I also knew I had a book to write, but I was shying away because there was a lot of research to do.
One night, when I left him in the hospital, I came home, took out [my 1979 novel] A Woman of Substance, leafed through it and realised that I didn’t know anything about [the early life of one of the main characters] Blackie. So it became a challenge in my head: I would write a prequel.
I was too devastated to do much after Robert died and it took me until June this year to finish A Man of Honour. I was rather slow because I had to be very careful not to plagiarise myself. People ask me if it was comforting writing every day and I say, ‘No it’s hard work.’ I just knew I had to do it, and it became an escape. I was occupied, so I didn’t start crying.
I’m trying to live as normally as I can without Robert. I love going out to dinner with friends and I’m a member of various private members’ clubs, like the Lotos Club, which has a great grill room.
I have an outgoing personality, and I have a lot of friends in their 40s and 50s who invite me out all the time, too. Nobody wants a widow weeping on their shoulder, they want nice conversation and a few laughs.
I get ready to go out very quickly. I take time with my eye make-up, but I just put on a bit of foundation, powder and lipstick. I go to the hair salon twice a week and keep up my appearance very well, because that’s important for me, not anybody else.
I have a lot of clothes and a lot of shoes, though I can’t wear heels because of this damn back. I tend to be like Princess Anne, coming back to a seven-year-old dress. I don’t know where I’d put anything new, anyway.
On the weekends I get invitations to stay with friends in Long Island or Connecticut, where we used to have a weekend home. But I like the city and I have good, loyal girlfriends who’ve been marvellous since Bob died. I’m always a bit suspicious of women who don’t have girlfriends.
I’m not slowing down as I get older, I’m not made that way. My secret is that I don’t look my age – my father never did and I take after him – and I use my brain every day, so that keeps me young.
‘A Man of Honour’ by Barbara Taylor Bradford is out now (HarperCollins, ￡16.99)
As told to Lara Kilner
My favourite...
... shop
I don’t shop much, but I do like the couture department at Bergdorf Goodman, and I go to Christian Dior for gowns.
… homeware item
I went into a shop in Long Island recently and bought some nice blue lamps and cushions. It’s given the sitting room a fresh look. Stella loves: lamp and shade, ￡111, Pooky.
… TV series
My friend comes over once a week for dinner and afterwards we watch something on Netflix. We saw Medici recently, a marvellous show about the Florentine banking family.
… recent splurge
Bob used to give me Hermès bags, so I bought a new Hermès Kelly. I also bought a Chanel one that I don’t really need. I have a lot of bags. Stella loves: Boy handbag, ￡4,380, Chanel.
… restaurant
I’m in Majorelle in New York several times a week. I order oysters, then sole or cod, with a glass of Champagne or wine.
… fashion buy
I bought a Lafayette 148 silk shirt to wear with a trouser suit during the day, then I’ll wear the shirt with a fancy jacket at night. Stella loves: Harlan silk blouse, ￡630, Lafayette 148.