'This is not a sign': The best hidden jokes from Peter Kay's Car Share
“Come back, my car-share buddy…” Yes, Peter Kay’s Car Share came to its eagerly awaited conclusion on Bank Holiday Monday, when Kay and Sian Gibson’s will-they-or-won’t-they commuters finally drove off into the sunset together – albeit on a bus, rather than in a car.
It wasn’t just the lines delivered by the lead pair that made the BBC sitcom so beloved. The series was also stuffed with cheeky sight gags and incidental details to amuse eagle-eyed viewers during its quieter moments.
Silly signs, shop names and graffiti could be glimpsed, while fictional radio station Forever FM burbled away in the background. Spotting these hidden bits of hilarity became an obsession for fans, were much tweeted-about and means that episodes merit re-watching.
But don’t worry if you missed any. Here’s our definitive rundown of all Car Share’s hidden jokes, including all the blink-and-you'll-miss-them funnies from that tear-jerking finale…
Series 1, episode 1
The one where: Assistant supermarket manager John Redmond (Kay) and promotions rep Kayleigh Kitson (Gibson) are paired together in a new commuting scheme. John corrects a shop rumour that he’s gay. Kayleigh accidentally squirts a bottle of urine all over him.
Best non-hidden gag: John [being sprayed with perfume]: “Get off! Now I smell like a brothel cat.” Kayleigh: “It’s Jade Goody’s Shush, this – ￡50 a bottle.”
Hidden gags:
A roadside chalkboard says “This is not a sign”.
Another roadside sign advertises “Brazilian while you wait”.
We hear snatches of Forever FM’s “legendary breakfast quiz, Celebrity In A Toaster” and “the Golden Hour, with hits and headlines from a chosen year. Today it was the year the poll tax was abolished and Freddie Mercury tragically died of AIDS, while Julia Roberts was Sleeping With The Enemy. Sounds like Freddie might have been as well.”
Peter Kay jokes gallery
Series 1, episode 2
The one where: John and Kayleigh are forced to take the morning off work due to the death of trolley pusher Old Ted. Kayleigh misunderstands the definition of “dogging" and lusts after the hunky new trolley wrangler.
Best non-hidden gag: “My old neighbour Ken’s got beautiful blue eyes. Mind you, that’s the glaucoma.”
Hidden gags:
The flowers on the coffin spell out “Old Ted” and there’s a floral wreath in the shape of a supermarket trolley sign.
A radio ad says: “A Ken Bamber’s sausage is a sausage the whole family can enjoy. Give your mouth a treat, try some of Ken’s meat.”
Series 1, episode 3
The one where: John picks up a hungover Kayleigh and they’re annoyed to run into supermarket fishmonger "Stink Ray” (Inside No 9’s Reece Shearsmith). Kayleigh has a lunchtime date with a man called Jap Si and is surprised to discover he’s not Japanese.
Best non-hidden gag: “Sushi isn’t fish, John. It’s wrestling.”
Hidden gags:
There’s a radio jingle for “Brillington College: where brilliance is almost our name”.
A slimming ad says: “I was always big growing up. I got all the nicknames: Chunky Monkey, Fatty Bumbum, Sausage Fingers, Blobface… Then I heard about Weightstoppers. The menus are great. I can eat all my favourite food, as long as I cut out anything that makes me fat.”
Series 1, episode 4
The one where: John’s excited about his new hands-free phone kit, while Kayleigh’s raving about the Beyoncé concert she attended the previous night. When John gets road rage at a school crossing, a builder throws an egg bap at the windscreen. They visit the car wash, where Kayleigh suffers a panic attack.
Best non-hidden gag: “I suppose you think JFK wasn’t really assassinated.” “The strongman? Geoff Capes?” “JFK, cloth ears!”
Hidden gags:
A home-made poster at the roadside says: “Missing husband. Last seen entering a whore.”
The Forever FM DJ introduces the Golden Hour thus: “‘It could be you’: that’s what the National Lottery started telling us in this year. And I’ve only ever had one ball.”
Series 1, episode 5
The one where: They drive Kayleigh’s niece and nephew to school. Kayleigh is jealous of John’s flirtation with colleague Rachel. It's John's nanna's birthday and he falls over while posting her card. Kayleigh drives an injured John home but the car breaks down after she fills it with petrol instead of diesel. Waiting for the roadside recovery, they play the Post-It note name game.
Best non-hidden gag: After Kayleigh borrows a Peppa Pig towel to use as a makeshift sling for John: “Did they not have Bob The Builder or Power Rangers or something? Peppa p--sing Pig.”
Hidden gags:
A sandwich shop is called Big Baps.
In the final shot of them playing the Post-It game, John’s says “Rachel’s b---h” and Kayleigh’s says: “S--t for brains”.
'This is not a sign': The best hidden jokes from Peter Kay's Car Share
Series 1, episode 6
The one where: Kayleigh is moving into her sister Mandy's the next day and is dressed as a blackcurrant for National Jam Week. The couple exchange gifts and go for a goodbye fry-up to mark their last day of car sharing.
Best non-hidden gag: Kayleigh on packing up her belongings: “I’ve got 15 bin bags for the Spastics Society. Lord knows what they’re going to do with my rollerboots.”
Hidden gags:
A hairdresser’s is called The Good Barber in The Godfather font. Underneath, it says: “Trust the Don”.
Next door is an optician’s called B&S Carolgees in tribute to Bob Carolgees and his puppet Spit the dog.
Series 2, episode 1
The one where: After moving in with her sister’s family, Kayleigh is now travelling to work alone but can’t resist calling John – who eventually picks her up and restarts their car share arrangement. A road rage video of John abusing a cyclist goes viral.
Best non-hidden gag: Kayleigh, after John accuses her of walking slowly: “I’m in court shoes here, I’m not Zola Budd.”
Hidden gags:
A road sign points to the Shaun Ryder Rehab Centre.
There’s a billboard ad for a spoof Channel 4 reality show called Miner Celebrities (tagline: “They’ve finally hit rock bottom”).
In John’s daydream sequence set to S Club 7’s “Never Had A Dream Come True”, he comes to Kayleigh’s rescue in a monster truck with the numberplate: “2 Big 4 U”.
Series 2, episode 2
The one where: The pair head off to their annual works do, dressed as Harry Potter and Hagrid. John is lumbered with taking home drunk Elsie off the deli counter (Game Of Throne’s Conleth Hill, in heavy disguise as a Smurfette). He and Kayleigh are about to kiss when they are interrupted by Elsie ringing to say she left her inhaler in the car and can't breathe.
Best non-hidden gag: “Could you turn that heating down please, Mr Redmond? I’m sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop.”
Hidden gags:
A pub is called The Dog With Two C--ks.
Corner shops are called Tecco Express and Polski Pound Shop.
A car wash has a rotating sign saying “Hand job”.
Series 2, episode 3
The one where: Kayleigh and John bunk off work to go to Seaview Safari Park. They share a tender moment by the coast – until a mysterious yellow substance pours down the windscreen and John realises one of the safari park monkeys is still on the car roof.
Best non-hidden gag: “My band’s playing a gymkhana in Clitheroe on Saturday. We’re on after dog agility.” “Oh wow, the dancers?” “No, that’s Diversity.”
Hidden gags:
As they drive through Wigan, there are endless hidden references to pies: a Pies R Us store, ads offering ‘Cash 4 pies”, a sign saying “Pie sale now on”, a van with “No pies are left in this vehicle overnight” and a film poster for “The Life of Pie”.
A bus ad for New Woman vitamin capsules has “I feel brilliant” crossed out and replaced by “I feel like s--t”.
Graffiti has changed a road sign from “Holly Bush Lane” to “Holly’s Bush”.
A car is from the “Samuel L Jackson Driving School”, with the middle initial styled as an L-plate.
A radio ad says: “When you look down, do you see the perfect breasts? Or do you see pure disappointment?”
Series 2, episode 4
The one where: Kayleigh can't find her house key and is stuck inside her sister Mandy's house, so John tries to rescue her. As the pair sit in a traffic jam, Kayleigh finally declares her love for John but believing he doesn't feel the same way, leaves the car in tears – just as a dedication John had texted into Forever FM comes on the radio.
Best non-hidden gag: Kayleigh, watching the hunky trolley collector licking a 99: “He’s a good licker, I’ll give him that.” “He wants to try doing a lick of work.” “F--ky lake.” “What?” “Lucky Flake.”
Hidden gags:
A fish and chip shop is called Frying Nemo.
An Orthodox Jewish man suts outside a café called HeBrew.
A school lollipop lady wears a hi-vis burqa.
“Never lend your car to a woman” is graffitied on a dented blue Renault Clio.
Car Share: Unscripted
The one where: This one-off ad-libbed episode sees John and Kayleigh driving around, chatting and commenting on the songs and adverts playing on Forever FM. Kayleigh accidentally-on-purpose invites herself round to John's for a dinner date.
Best non-hidden gag: “Women need love. Men need friction. When I were 13, I’d have done it up the side of a skip.”
Hidden gags:
A hopper bus displays its destination as “Vengabus”.
A billboard poster advertises “Beef hot dog*, only 50p *not actual size”.
A pair of scissors on the signage for hair salon Mega Cutz makes it look like something rude.
A car wash boasts of the “Best hand job in town”.
A “Pies of Wigan” lorry rumbles along the motorway.
There’s another radio ad for Ken Bamber’s butchers: “With International Women’s Day coming up, you’re probably wondering what should I do? Show the lady in your life you care and treat her to some of my fine meat.”
A halal supermarket is called Halaldi.
A poster with tear-off strips says “Can’t grow a moustache? Please take a complimentary one”.
A dog is seen defecating next to a postbox.
Car Share: The Finale
The one where: John says sorry by writing a love song for Kayleigh and they renew their car-share arrangement. They get invited to the Christmas wedding of two workmates. When Kayleigh hops out at some traffic lights to rescue a hedgehog, she causes a crash and John’s car door gets knocked off by a lorry. After the car gets towed, they take the bus and sit on the backseat, holding hands and sharing the headphones. As they listen to their song, Kayleigh rests her head on John’s shoulder and they both smile.
Best non-hidden gag: Kayleigh kisses John on the cheek: “Give over, we’re in work.” “And?” “You don’t s--- on your own doorstep, do you?” “Oh, I had to once. Couldn’t get my key in quick enough.”
Hidden gags:
There’s a radio ad for “Love Juices. You won’t find anything unnatural in our Love Juices, just 100% organic goodness. Mmm, I’m tasting it now and it tastes good”.
A bus-stop advertises a Channel 4 show called My Big Fat Undateable Bake Off. Tagline: “Fancy a raspberry ripple?”
There’s a bus ad for “Beaver Liquors”.
A massage parlour is called “The Knocking Shop”.
A tattered wanted poster reads “Lost Boys. Have u seen them? Reward” with a pic of the Eighties film vampires.
The Forever FM DJ says: “Get in touch and let us know your favourite bubble-wrap memories, we’ll do those on the show later.”
A Ford Transit has “Jean-Claude Van Man” written on the side
A road sign points the way to “Secret Nuclear Bunker”, while another designates a “No Dogging Area”
A coffee shop’s special offer is “Buy 3 for the price of 3!”
A car bumper sticker reads “Louder than your bird last night”
The signage on Old Trafford stadium is changed from Manchester United to Manchester City.
A billboard poster says “Don’t drive like a…”, followed by a picture of a cockerel.
The bus they board at the end has an ad on the back for: “Ken Bamber, high-class butcher. Give your mouth a treat, try some of Ken’s meat.”
Solve the daily Crossword
