'Abbott Elementary's Sheryl Lee Ralph Gives Us All a Lesson in Believing in Yourself

“First thing I do every morning is look in the mirror and love what I see.” Ralph says.

When winning an award, most actors take the stage in awe, rattle through a list of names to thank and wipe a few tears from their eyes. But at this year’s Emmys, Sheryl Lee Ralph used her moment to show her appreciation in a different way. She accepted her statuette for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series by taking a deep breath to compose herself, then belting out the opening lines to “Endangered Species” by jazz artist Dianne Reeves: “I am an endangered species, but I sing no victim song. I am a woman. I am an artist. And I know where my voice belongs.”

Ralph, 65, had everyone in the crowd standing and clapping wildly before transitioning into an inspirational monologue. The actress, who won for her role of Barbara Howard in Abbot Elementary— becoming the first Black woman to claim the category in 35 years—dedicated her award to her fellow dreamers, proclaiming “I am here to tell you that this is what believing looks like. This is what striving looks like. And don’t you ever, ever give up on you.” That’s exactly what Ralph has done throughout her career, staying persistent in pursuit of her dreams.

Chasing the Dream

Ralph was born in Connecticut and raised in Jamaica and Long Island by a college professor dad, Stanley, and fashion designer mom, Ivy, whom she credits for much of her inspiration and drive. “I'm an immigrant child, and my mother came here with a dream, and it wasn't just for herself, but it was for her family as well,” she says. “The people still to this day talk about Miss Ivy and what she meant to them, how she cared for them, how she inspired them,” she says. Ralph became interested in acting at Rutgers University and after graduation, she embarked on what has become a nearly five-decade performing career, full of noteworthy performances.

On stage, she’s portrayed Deena Jones in 1981's original Dreamgirls on Broadway, a role that landed her a Tony Award nomination, Madame Morrible in Wicked and Elyse in The First Wives Club. She starred alongside Denzel Washington on the big screen in The Mighty Quinn, and is known for roles in To Sleep With Anger, Mistress, The Distinguished Gentleman, the Sister Act sequel, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, and as the voice of Rita in Oliver and Company. And on television, she’s appeared in everything from Moesha to The Jeffersons, Designing Women and more. Along the way she had two children with first husband Eric Maurice, divorced, and got remarried to Pennsylvania State Senator Vincent Hughes.

But continuing to stay relevant in show business throughout the years, Ralph admits, was not always easy, even for someone as driven as she was. And at one point along her journey, she almost quit acting. “My daughter was in junior high, and things had slowed down a bit,” she recalls. She ran into a casting agent whose child went to her kid’s school and was asked what she had been up to. “I said, ‘Well, I haven't been acting much.’ She stopped in her tracks and said, ‘If you haven't been acting much, it's because you don't want to act much,’” Ralph recalls. This caused her to reexamine her entire career, from her goals to how she was being marketed to the industry. “It was a wake-up call and it worked great for me,” she says. “I got new representation. I got new thoughts on myself. And I just went for it. That was the best thing I could ever do,” she says.

Another best in her life has been ABC’s new hit, Abbott Elementary. The mockumentary created by Quinta Brunson about a predominantly Black school in Philadelphia has been a dream. “I'm working with a great cast and crew on a series that is perfect for the time that we are in right now,” she says. “I've got a boss that's half my age, and I adore her. And God is good.” But she does acknowledge that the role of old-school kindergarten teacher Barbara Howard took her by surprise. “At first, I was just like, ‘Oh, well, here we go. Another role that I can absolutely play with my eyes shut,’” she says. Ralph was initially interested in portraying Ava, the inept principal character. “It was something that I could do very easily, but people would probably not see me as that,” she says. But when Brunson told her, “Absolutely not. You are the perfect Barbara Howard,” Ralph found herself in a role she absolutely adores. “This is probably the first time that I've ever really watched myself in a show, because I just like it so much,” she says.

How Sheryl Lee Ralph Practices Self-Care

Mindset is very important to Ralph, both on and off set. She starts her days off with a glowing positive affirmation. “First thing I do every morning is look in the mirror and love what I see,” she says. “That whole ‘Good morning, gorgeous,’ that's old news for me. It has always been ‘Girl, look at you. You look fabulous. Just the way you are.’ I love to encourage myself.” She credits this to her parents who nudged her to appreciate herself at a young age. “I'm a child of the '60s. If you didn't encourage yourself, it was not easy to make it out of that time in life,” she jokes.

Ralph has a work ethic of steel but has learned if she doesn’t balance it with some TLC, she’s not able to devote her full self to her craft. Thus, she makes a point to check in with herself daily. “I love having full-on conversations out loud, balancing the pros and the cons and saying, ‘OK, where are we going? How are we doing this? How are we making this happen? What is the plan? How are we feeling? How can we feel better? What is it you need? What is it you are not saying to yourself?’ I'm telling you some of the best conversations I've ever had have been with myself,” she shares.

Health and wellness are not new to Ralph. “My mother always believed that your body is your temple. My dad said it's your castle and you have got to take care of it,” she says. Her parents, she explains, were very informative about what happens in every decade of life and how you need to adjust your routine accordingly. So, while aging in Hollywood means she’s doing it in front of a lens, she’s learned to see growing older as a privilege. “I'm doing what I can. And you look at me, what I can do is pretty damn good because I put my best into it,” she says.

How Sheryl Lee Ralph Powers Through Hurdles

Adopting a positive mindset hasn’t always come easy to Ralph. “There are moments where you forget even the best lessons that you’ve learned,” she says. She’s made a point to be transparent throughout the years, speaking about some of the hardships she’s experienced and the things she’s done to bounce back. “In my 20s, when things were out of hand for me as a young actor, and it seemed as though everybody else was in control, I took control by not eating,” she reveals. “We now know that that is called anorexia but back in the day, we didn't know anything about that; they just thought I was losing my mind.” She credits the support of her family and early intervention for getting back on track.

She also experienced depression in the aftermath of her 2001 divorce from first husband, Eric Maurice, with whom she shares two children (Etienne Maurice and Ivy Maurice, now 30 and 27). “I looked in the mirror and I just started crying. And it was so unusual for me,” she says of the moment she realized she was more than just sad. “And I was just like, ‘I think I need to talk to somebody; I need some help.’” Deciding to leave her marriage, she says, came down to wanting to have her children see her at her best. “I couldn't be my best in that relationship, so I had to make a choice to be my best outside of it,” she says. With the help of her family, “a great therapist,” who worked with her and her family together, and her friends, she was able to improve her mental health.

“You get challenges in life. And it's all about how you are going to work through those challenges,” says Ralph. “For me, it has all been about how do you move forward? And how can you do what is the best that you can do for yourself? What needs to be done for you?” She strives to not get “stopped by the negativity but propelled by the positivity,” as she describes it. She’s also learned that her state of mind is a choice, and choosing to be happy has become her default throughout the years. “A lot of people say, ‘But it's not that easy,’” she says. But this is something Ralph practices daily. “I'm a pro at being my best self. I'm a pro at relaxing myself. I'm a pro in bad situations, finding my best self, because that's how I've managed to carry on. That's how I've managed to move forward.”

The Joy of Giving Back

Philanthropy is extremely important to Ralph, who is a big proponent for animal adoption and loves to spend time with her rescue puppy, Oscar. “Rescue dogs, animals, cats can be great self-care,” she says. “If you need one, don't go out and buy one, go to the shelter. Give the animal the patience that you probably should be giving yourself.”

But her true life’s work is her D.I.V.A. Foundation, which she founded in 1990 as a memorial to the many friends she lost to AIDS. “As an original company member of Dreamgirls on Broadway, it was the best time of my life. And then the worst happened when my friends were just dropping dead of this disease,” she says. “I saw how the world's reaction was so terrible, how easy it was to hate on people for their sexual preference, or their gender or whatever,” she says. Ralph started D.I.V.A., “Divinely Inspired Victoriously Aware,” to help raise both funds and awareness for HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening diseases. “And now we're overall health awareness,” she says.

These days she spends her downtime encouraging people to get their checkups and prioritize preventative health. “We try to deliver messages even to men that say, ‘I know you're afraid of getting your PSA numbers, but you can get a blood test. Things have changed. Go take care of yourself.’ For women, it is important to get your mammogram when you need it,” she says. She’s also pushing for open dialogue and support around women and their periods, pregnancy, and the transition into menopause.

The Future Is Bright for Sheryl Lee Ralph

After a holiday trip to Jamaica, Ralph is excited to hop into whatever her career brings her next, she says. But at the moment, she’s enjoying how every character she has portrayed in the past has led her to this Emmy award-winning point, noting that in so many ways she is living the life of Deena Jones from Dreamgirls. “Deena Jones came from a singing group, wanted to do something important, wanted to make a difference, wanted to have a family and a happy life,” she reflects. Then, she thinks back to her first movie, A Piece of the Action, with Sidney Poitier and Bill Cosby, where she played an unruly juvenile delinquent named Barbara Hanley. “I believe that Barbara Hanley has grown up to become Barbara Howard, understanding that she has done the best that she could for herself, and is now doing it for others as a teacher, because the teacher made all the difference for her in her life,” says Ralph. She finds the circle revelation to be absolutely beautiful. “I’m very thankful!” she says.

And that Emmy? For Ralph, it is all about change. The recognition has caused her to reflect on the times in her life when she felt like she was doing her best work and was often overlooked. Nowadays, she’s celebrating her persistence. “You can say the industry wasn't ready, you can say that people didn't realize that diversity was important and other people should be invited to the party. But I believe my award is what change really looks like. Because I've been here doing the work that people say is outstanding,” she says. Her Emmy is now right beside her bed, and she goes to sleep and wakes up next to it with a big smile on her face.

According to Sheryl

Favorite hobby “Sleep! When we were first together, my husband would always laugh. He was like, ‘Why do you sleep so much?’ And I'm like, ‘Why do you sleep so little? You think that four hours a night is good for you?’ Give me seven to eight hours. I'm fine.”

Favorite movie Black Orpheus (1959)

Last binge Succession

Morning wake-up routine Warm water, followed by tea or “fake coffee” made from barley or chicory root

Exercise mantra “Like the song says, you've got to ‘move it, move it…’”

Relaxation technique Box breathing (inhaling for four seconds, holding for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds and repeating)

Favorite color Bling!

Surprising fact “I played the violin.”

A daily must-do Smiling and praying

Passion The D.I.V.A. Foundation—“Divinely Inspired Victoriously Aware”—founded in 1990 as a memorial to the friends she lost to AIDS raises funds and awareness for HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening diseases. “As an original company member of Dreamgirls on Broadway, it was the best time of my life. And then the worst happened when my friends were just dropping dead of this disease. I saw how the world's reaction was so terrible, how easy it was to hate on people for their sexual preference, or their gender or whatever.”

Favorite traditions “Christmas on the beach in Jamaica, indulging in local cuisine like black cake and rum punch, fried fish, yeast rolls, mac ‘n’ cheese, and a big salad. And giving big gifts in tiny boxes.”