That mysterious French-language Grammys commercial, translated

During the Grammy Awards on Sunday night, there was one commercial that left viewers guessing. Freaking out, even.

Old Spice aired a mysterious ad featuring a glamorous French woman in a sparkling Mediterranean village, who is very upset over “Old Spice.” The catch? The 60-second spot was entirely in French, sans subtitles.

The commercial begins with a woman clutching a red sweater in her cozy home. As she snuggles the sweater, she envisions herself with a handsome captain wearing said sweater. But then the chaos begins.

The woman looks puzzled, as if she’s lost something important, and is soon seen running through the narrow brick streets of her town, telling her glamorous neighbors something deeply upsetting — and it all boils down to “Old Spice”, which is the only word English speakers can decipher, a phrase that’s repeated with escalating urgency.

Why? That’s exactly what Twitter was wondering.

We don’t know what’s being said — unless, of course, we’re fluent in French. Luckily, those who are swooped in to tease the answer.

Well, mystery solved. Old Spice released the captioned commercial on Youtube and Twitter:

Oh wait, it’s about a lost dog??? Never mind.

Old Spice Captain includes a line of deodorants, a body wash, and a shampoo and conditioner with a distinctly manly scent. According to the brand’s website, the Captain fragrance “smells like the bold determination it takes to stare down the open ocean and laugh, with an invigorating splash of fresh sandalwood” — which may help to explain the irreverence of this commercial.