15 Women Reveal the Tinder Opening Line They Actually Responded to
Dating in the pandemic is... weird, to put it mildly. With IRL dates pretty much off the table during quarantine, more and more of us have been relying solely on dating apps like Tinder and Hinge for conversation and companionship. But even that comes with its own challenges.
According to a recent study, half of American singles aren't looking for a relationship or even a date right now, and aren't "on the market." Which in one way is kind of encouraging for those of us who are on The Apps, as the people we're messaging are open to making a connection. It also means that the dating app ecosystem in general is more competitive.
Making a good first impression by crafting the perfect opening line could be the thing that helps you stand out from all the other guys who are blanket-bombing women's Tinder profiles with emojis or "'sup."
"Open with a line that shows them that you’ve taken the time to look through their profile," says sexologist and We-Vibe sex expert, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, PhD. "Try to demonstrate that you’re not just copying and pasting a generic Hi. I think you’re cute. Wanna chat? message. For example, if they say they’re into hiking and they’ve posted a few mountaintop pics, ask them about this specific interest. Hey! Love your hiking pics. Is that Valley of Fire? I’ve always wanted to visit. Anyhow, let me know if you’re up for chatting today? That last part leaves it open for them to consent. Rather than assuming that you’re entitled to their time, ask if they’re in the mood. If they say they’re busy, ask if they want to continue the conversation and if they don’t, move along."
Gigi Engle, certified sexologist and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life, believes that the best way to get someone interested is to "either be goofy or really thoughtful," and much like O'Reilly, recommends paying attention to somebody's profile in order to be more specific in your opening gambit. She adds that composing an original, attention-grabbing message is also worthwhile even if you're looking for something a little more casual.
"In the event that you're kind of mass-messaging hotties, which let's face it, we've all done, I think asking a really unusual question can really spark someone's interest and also immediately weeds out anyone who isn't clever or doesn't have a sense of humor," she says. "For instance: If you had to choose a favorite berry, which berry would you choose? or What is one secret-single thing you do when no one is around. I'll go first: I watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine reruns and look at puppy memes. Go!"
So there's your advice from the professionals. Show that you've been paying attention and that you're curious to learn more, without coming across as demanding and entitled, or alternatively, cut loose and just have fun with your messages (which does not mean unsolicited sexual remarks).
Still in need of some inspiration? Some women shared the best messages they ever received on dating apps. It bears repeating that context is everything, but who knows. Maybe one of these will work for you too.
“The best opening like I've ever heard was: 'I’m bad at this, so I’m going to buck the Tinder trend and let you make the first move, if that’s okay.'” —Ann, 29.
“I once had a guy first message me first with, ‘Corny pick-up line, gif, or being asked out?’ It was clear he was referencing his opening line, but being the obnoxious person I am, I replied, ‘All of them.’ He then did all of them. He sent me a cute gif, came up with a corny pick-up line, and asked if I wanted to grab drinks next Friday. I liked the fact [that] he was able to come up with all three, but also, in asking how he should start the convo, it acknowledges the fact that opening lines are weird for both the girl and the guy.” —Hayley 29.
“I always like when men begin with two questions. Not just any questions—questions specific to my profile. I like when they show they’ve looked past my pictures and are taking an interest in the things I have said. I prefer two questions because if I don’t want to answer one, I have a second option.” —Brooke, 30
“In college when I was on Tinder, I had in my bio that I was a philosophy major. This one guy managed to make puns using Plato, Kant, Descartes, and Spinoza in his opening line. I really appreciated the effort.” —Rose, 24
“The most important part, for me, is that a guy opts for my profile over my pictures. Yes, we all put up pictures that make us look attractive, but hopefully you’re looking to actually talk to me, as well. Any attempt at personalization is awesome. Steer clear of the pet names.” —Lauren, 28
“My favorite opening line probably has to be a compliment. Not a sexual one, but one that shows I caught their attention in some way. Yes, it can be about my pictures and appearance, but nothing derogatory or implying that I’m getting naked for you.” —Sally, 32
“One guy told me an entire story about our potential first date using only emojis. On the one hand, it showed he had a lot of time on his hand, but on the other it made me smile and showed he was creative and had a sense of humor.” —Gabby, 30
“I like keeping it light, but also practical. Ask me something random, like ‘Hawaiian or pepperoni?’ And then buy me pizza.” —Susan, 31
“Tinder is a hellscape most of the time. I don’t want to see the word 'hey.' I want to see that you’ve read what I wrote in my bio and are present enough to ask me about it. It makes you stand out from the crowd. We ladies get plenty of weird pick up lines from random dudes. It may seem like a low bar, but paying attention to detail goes a really long way. If she’s hiking with her best friend in one of her photos, tell her how fun the hike looked. Ask if she goes hiking often. It will help you in the long run.” —Jasmine, 29
“I respond to guys who are sincerely nice, not meaning ones who refer to themselves as nice. That’s a huge red flag. I like a guy who tells me details about his life and passions right away. Showing you’re not scared to open up about things in your life shows that you’re not a huge tool bag, but someone worth getting to know. Just remember, tell the truth. We always know when you’re lying!” —Gabby, 27
"They messaged me, 'Remind me to never challenge you to an arm wrestling contest, Muscles.' It was the perfect mix of complimentary and flirty. I also about died when they called me Muscles.” —Gabrielle, 26
"A guy messaged me, 'Would it be romantic if I wore a turban that matches your hair if we go out?" I honestly thought that was so cute. My hair is bright green, for context." —Lo, 25.
"He said, 'You have one of those smiles that make me smile just looking at you. Thank you for brightening up my day.'" —Charolette, 33
"He accurately guessed the tattoo artist who gave me the flower tattoo on my arm. I was in shock." —Alyson, 24
"The guy I'm dating now didn't really say anything exceptional. He asked what I was reading—it says I'm a bibliophile in my bio—and he happened to have read the book already. So we spoke about that!" —Emma, 28
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