There are tons of ways to be intimate with your partner, including having a really good, deep conversation. In fact, talking to your partner is one of the best ways to truly get to know them and create a deeper bond between the two of you. Our intimate questions are a good way to take a deep dive with the one you love. From questions about preferences to delving into their past, these are some of the questions to ask your partner to deepen your connection and grow intimacy.

Questions About What They Find Attractive

You already know your partner is attracted to you — or they wouldn't be your partner. But understanding what drives that attraction can help you to make it last, even after you've been together for years. Try some of these questions to discover the roots of their attraction.

• What's the first thing you noticed about me?

• What role does physical attraction play in whether you pursue a relationship?

• What type of scent do you like on a person?

• Would you say you have a "type"? Do I fit what you thought you were looking for?

• How do you describe me to other people?

• How do you think I should describe you to other people?

• What could I do for you that I don't do now?

• What is the first thing you think when you see me?

• What qualities make me special to you?

• Do you look at other men/women/people?

• If you could have three wishes from me, what would they be?

• What was the first thing you thought when you met me?

• How would you respond if my appearance drastically changed, either overnight (new haircut and different hair color, for example) or over time (more/less muscle, weight gain/loss)?

• What is something you think is true about me but you've never asked to confirm?

• How big of a deal are special occasions for you?

• What do you think your most attractive qualities are?

• Which of my qualities do you find most attractive?

Related: 85+ Positive Healthy Relationship Quotes for a Stronger Bond

Emotional Intimacy-Building Questions

Building your emotional connection often involves choosing to be vulnerable with one another. We're talking about really taking a risk here. Share your fears and worries and put yourself out there in a way that risks rejection. It can pay off big time in emotional intimacy if you're both vulnerable.

• What were you afraid of as a kid? What are you afraid of now?

• If you had to choose one creative way to let the world know who you are (painting, writing, acting, etc.) — what would it be?

• What is something you're afraid people will find out about you? Why are you afraid of that?

• Do you ever worry about us breaking up? How can I help you feel better?

• What kinds of things make your heart skip a beat? Am I one?

• What needs do I fulfill in your life? Are there needs I could meet that I'm not right now?

• What do you worry about at night?

• What was the last dream you had about me?

• In what ways are you still a child inside?

• If you could go back and be a teenager again, what would you do differently?

• What is your biggest regret in life?

• What is the thing you're the most proud of?

• What's something you haven't told me because you're afraid I might judge it?

• How do you think being hurt has made you more or less willing to be vulnerable in a relationship?

• What part of yourself do you not love but need me to love?

• How can I make you feel emotionally safe?

• What's the first thing you remember as a kid? How did you feel in that memory?

• Who do you think has been your greatest influence in life? How did they help shape how you are today?

• Do you believe in soulmates? Do you think every person has only one perfect partner?

Related: 125+ Fun Relationship Questions for Couples

Questions About the Past

Part of deepening your bond is discussing your past romantic history (within reason) with your partner. It can help you get closer and also allow you to identify areas that you may want to work on together in order to not repeat past mistakes.

• Have you ever cheated on a partner? If not, have you considered it but changed your mind?

• How many past partners have you had?

• Did you debate whether to ask me out? Why would you have chosen not to?

• What were you thinking on our first date?

• Have you ever been in love before me? Will you tell me about that person if you have?

• Who is your role model in life? Who is your role model in love?

• What did it feel like when you realized you were in love with me?

• Do you think we were so destined to be together, that if we hadn't decided to date when we did and lost touch, we'd run into each other again? Or do you think our meeting was luck?

• What were you looking for when you found me? Were you looking for love at all?

• What are the most important lessons you've learned from your past relationships?

Questions That Dream About the Future

While the sweet spot of relationships relies on living in the now and allowing yourself to be completely present with one another, it's natural to look forward and dream about where your relationship could go. These questions can help you to dream together and ensure your goals for the future of the partnership are aligned.

• Where do you see this relationship headed in the next year? What about the next five years?

• What is your opinion on marriage and children?

• In what ways do you think we can work together to continue to grow our relationship?

• What does growth in a relationship look like to you? What does stagnation look like?

• What are your deal breakers for a future together? What are your must-haves?

• Would you stay with me if you found out I was unable to have kids? How would this affect us?

• What are your job or career goals, and how could they affect our relationship?

• Where do you see yourself living when you retire?

• What goals do you have for us?

• I want to be a good lover, and I want to be there for you. What can I do for you to be that person?

• How do you imagine a day in the life of us married with kids? What about a week in the life?

• What are your thoughts on having our elderly parents live with us if they can't live on their own one day?

• How do you plan to save for retirement? What are your goals?

• What kind of memories would you like to make with me?

Intimate Questions About Love

People express love in so many different ways; it's important to get a good understanding of what will speak to your partner's heart. You also probably have questions for your potential mate about their thoughts and feelings (past and present) on love.

• What can I do to show you how much I love you?

• Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it?

• Have you ever been hurt in the past and questioned the possibility of love?

• When did you realize you were in love with me?

• Do you see our love lasting? Do you ever have any doubts?

• If you had to choose, would you rather receive a gift or have someone do something nice or helpful for you?

• Do you like sentimental gifts or do you always want a gift to have a practical purpose and be something you need?

• How do you think you best express love? Do you know what your love language is?

• What can I do that will make you feel most loved?

• What types of compliments do you like to hear?

Juicy Physical Intimacy Questions

Physical intimacy is an important part of any serious relationship. Relationships aren't all about what goes on in the bedroom, but it matters. There are things you can do outside of the bedroom or nights you can plan based on your significant other's fantasies, and asking a few juicy questions can help you learn these details. Don't be shy. If you want to know something and build intimacy, just ask.

• Is our relationship physical enough for you? What would make it better in your eyes?

• How and where do you like to be touched? Are there any places I don't know about?

• Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?

• What are your thoughts on toys?

• Is there anything we haven't tried that you'd like to?

• Ideally (and a bit realistically, too), how often would you like for us to be intimate?

• What are some things I can do outside of the bedroom to keep the feelings of intimacy going all day?

• Would you like me to be more or less assertive in the bedroom?

• What kind of fantasies did you have before you met me?

• How can I make you feel seen and accepted when we're intimate together?

• What is something about your intimate history you've never told anyone before?

Intimate Text Questions to Ask Your Partner

Everyone communicates via text (or text app) these days, so it's no surprise that intimate conversation can happen via text (we're not just talking sexting either). It might even be easier to ask intimate questions via text if you're someone who becomes embarrassed with intimate conversation when face-to-face. Try some of these text questions to initiate some intimate conversation.

• What do you miss most about me right now?

• What's something you've always wanted to say to me but couldn't?

• What would you like me to do the next time we're together?

• Where would you like me to kiss you?

• What is the closest you've ever felt to me?

• What one word would you like to be the theme of our relationship?

• How can I be a better partner to you?

Need to Know

When you pose an intimate question to your partner, you need to be open to listening. You may get an answer you are surprised by or don't want to hear. It's important not to judge your partner. If you find yourself upset or surprised, take a moment to digest what your partner has told you before responding. Remember, the two of you are not going to agree on everything.

Tips for Asking Intimate Questions to Your Person

How you ask a question matters almost as much as what you ask. Set the right tone with these tips:

• Don't just spring the question your partner. Instead, make it part of a conversation.

• Remember this isn't an inquisition — it's a back-and-forth. Share equally and always pay attention to your partner's body language to determine whether they're uncomfortable or engaged and adjust accordingly.

• Create a routine where you and your partner each choose a question off the list to ask one another. You can do this regularly.

• If you're hoping to ask your partner a really juicy question, be prepared to reveal something, too. Intimacy comes from both people being vulnerable.

• Find a quiet time when you won't be interrupted. Deep conversations require some privacy.

Ask Away for More Intimacy

Open communication is often the key to lasting love. Keep in mind your partner may want to ask you intimate questions in return, so be ready to answer them. Relationships are give-and-take, after all.