6 things to do to avoid dating burnout, according to relationship experts
Liking, swiping, and meeting up can get tiring, and dating burnout is definitely not unheard of.
No matter how you find romance—"untyping," "wanderloving" and so on—remember that you're not in a race. Take a breather and don't let the dating game overwhelm you.
Allow relationship experts to shell out some much-needed words of wisdom before you agree to that dinner date or coffee meetup.
5 ways to avoid dating burnout, according to the pros
1. Don't overbook yourself
They say "summertime and the livin' is easy" but if you fill up those 2023 planners with too many activities, you're liable to wipe yourself out. Take a breather and absorb what you learned from a potential match before rushing to meet the next one.
"Don't overbook yourself and schedule dates with yourself in the midst of dates with others," Brenden Durell, intimacy expert on Too Hot To Handle, previously told us. "Every time you meet somebody, you have the mirror coming back to you, you learn things about yourself. So every date, even if it goes badly, you come back to yourself and that's wisdom to use for yourself. You get stronger and clearer for your next date."
If you wanted a race, try looking up the local marathons in your city.
2. Know what you're looking for
If you want something long-term (like those trendy superbloom relationships), be up front when swiping. If an expirationship is more your thing—which is completely fine—make sure to express your needs to the people you're meeting. Not only will it weed away matches that aren't a good fit, but it'll lead you closer to the right person.
Laurel House, a relationship expert with eharmony told us that "daters want deep intimacy and physical and emotional vulnerability, and fun and adventure, plus calm daily mundane life experiences."
However, Gen Z might not necessarily want all of that for the same length of time. Separate yourself from the short-term daters if it's not the space for you, and vice versa.
3. Be candid
If you know what your needs are, express them. Don't cave to someone else's standards if you're compromising your own. The only way to carry out an authentic connection, regardless of how long you'd like it to last, you're going to need to be upfront.
"By communicating your needs and priorities, you are creating clarity about when they can expect going forward so that they have confidence in who you are and what they can expect from you," House said.
4. Learn how to spot toxic behavior
OK, we get it: easier said than done. When meeting new people, it's hard not to find yourself in a situation where someone—or perhaps even you—decides to try mosting, ghosting, benching, ghostlighting, etc.
"The increasing number of dating apps and social media apps may have made it easier to connect with people, however, this means it’s even easier to disconnect from someone when things don’t work out," says Neil Dutta, the managing director at engagement ring specialist, Angelic Diamonds.
When your gut tells you something is off, listen and move on.
5. Create balance
A relationship is one aspect of your life, not the whole thing. Be sure to make time for other loved ones, lest you be subjected to the pitfalls of the relationship effect.
"In order to create a balance, as well as instill healthy space for a budding relationship and create breathing room to think clearly, it’s best to maintain normal friend and family activities separate from your new person," House says.
And when it comes to your career and hobbies, make time for them, too. Healthy balancing is one of the biggest dating trends of 2023, a notion that was put on our radar post-pandemic. Don't let your job outweigh your romance, or vice versa. There's enough room for everything.
"The trend for 'love/life balance' will see career ambitions no longer top of the list," dating expert Mairead Molloy.
6. Stay positive
Yes, the dating scene is overwhelming, but a healthy mindset is part of the process. Even when Hinge really tests your limits or Bumble seems to have a tech defect, keep moving on and know what's meant for you will find a way. Dating expert Rikki Dymond insists on it.
"With all of these dating trends that are rising, we really just need to dive deep within our own heart, know exactly what we want, need and deserve," she told My Imperfect Life. "There might be roadblocks, and that's ok. Try to take that with a grain of salt. No matter what goals we have in our life, we're going to have issues. Don't let those sidetrack you."
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And when you feel like you need a little more assistance in the dating department, why not try expert advice lurking on bookshelves?
