44 Things Southerners Say When It's Hot

There's something about Southern heat that speaks to us like nothing else.

The South is a land of epic weather. In a single year, we can experience hurricanes, tornados, floods, droughts, a blizzard's worth of snow, and a heat index in the triple digits. But there's something about Southern heat that speaks to us like nothing else. It's our sweat badge of courage—proof, in our minds, that we can stand mercury levels that would surely undo our northern brethren. And we do it gracefully. Southern women don't sweat—we "glisten."

While we're outside enduring the summer heat, we can't help but remark how it's "hotter than blue blazes" or that "this one's a barn-burner." Recently, we polled our Southern followers on Facebook and asked for things Southerners say when it's hot.

Classic Things Southerners Say When It’s Hot

• It's not the heat—it's the humidity.

• Is it hot enough for ya?

• Man, it's hot as all get-out!

• It must be 90 in the shade.

• This one's gonna be a scorcher.

• It's a barn-burner.

• You could fry an egg on the sidewalk.

• You could fry an egg on the hood of that car.

• It’s not a dry heat, that kind of heat is better. This is a wet heat.

• Crank up that A.C. until it's blowing snowballs.

• Somebody fan me.

• How many days until fall?

Things Southerners Say It’s Hotter Than

• It's hotter'n blue blazes.

• It's hotter'n a blister bug in a pepper patch.

• It's so dang hot that I just saw a hound dog chasing a rabbit—and they were both walking.

• "Hotter than noon on the fourth of July," "hotter than a pepper sprout," and "hotter than a $2 pistol," came to us in song, thanks to Shenandoah, Johnny and June, and George "Possum" Jones, respectively.

• It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

• It's hotter than a stolen tamale.

The Only Hotter Place We Talk About

• Hot as Hades

• Hotter than H-E double hockey sticks

• Hot as H-E double toothpicks

• Hot as the hinges on the gates of Hades

• Hotter than six shades of hell

• Hotter than Satan's house cat

• Even Satan's sweatin' today.

• Hotter than hell and half of Georgia

• Hotter than hell’s pepper patch

• Hotter than the devil’s armpit

It’s So Hot…How Hot Is It?

• It's so hot the swimming pool is boiling.

• It's so hot the ice cream truck melted.

• It's like a steam bath out here.

• It's like walking through soup out here.

• It’s like a sauna/steam room out there.

• It's hot enough to scald a lizard.

• It's hot enough to scald a loon.

Southerners’ Physical Reactions To The Heat

• I'm wilting.

• I'm burning slap up.

• I'm sweatin' like a hog.

• You could have a stroke out here.

• Good Lord, I'm dying out here!

• I’m sweating bullets.
  

• This heat makes me tired.

• I'm just roasting!

• If it gets any hotter, I'll have to take off stuff I really ought to keep on.