November marks the start of the most wonderful stressful time of the year. Here, three little ways to successfully navigate the season as a couple (even if your partner’s entire extended family is coming over for Thanksgiving). 

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Talk About Your Finances

Between all the family visits, bargain shopping and pie eating, November can be an expensive month. Which could spell bad news for your relationship, according to one study from Kansas University that found that arguments about finances were the top predictor of divorce. Eek. But the good news is that you can get through the month and keep both your bank account and relationship intact. How? By setting a budget for all of your holiday-related expenses. Factor in all the big stuff (traveling home for the holidays and that new TV you want to get on Black Friday) and the little things (stocking up on hot cocoa supplies and your annual trip to the ice skating rink). Then check-in weekly to make sure that you’re sticking to your plan, a trick that a Columbia University study found helped people reach their savings goals. (Do it over a bottle of wine to make it a little more fun.) And remember what your mom used to say—there’s a difference between want and need. (Although marshmallows in hot chocolate is a definite need in our book.)

Show Your Gratitude

Remember the first couple of times that your partner brought you coffee in bed (just the way you like it) and you couldn’t stop gushing about how thoughtful he was? But now, you barely say good morning and hold your hand out on autopilot. This month, make an effort to express your appreciation, something research has shown helps couples feel more satisfied in their relationship and closer to one another. In fact, one study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants’ reported feelings of gratitude towards their partner predicted who would stay in their relationships and who would break up nine months later. But according to social-personality psychologist Amie M. Gordon, gratitude doesn’t just mean saying a quick “thanks” when your spouse does the dishes—it’s about appreciating who they are as a person. “Gratitude means thinking about all of your partner’s best traits and remembering why you got into a relationship with them in the first place,” she says. This weekend, try this exercise from relationship guru Dr. John Gottman. First, pick three positive characteristics for one another from his list (like “playful” or “a great parent”). Then, for each item you choose, write down an actual incident that illustrates this characteristic. Finally, share your notes and revel in that warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from being appreciated. 

Laugh About It

So, it’s your first time hosting Thanksgiving as a couple and oops—you burned the turkey. While you may be tempted to throw your hands in the air and declare the holiday ruined, here’s a case for laughing about it instead. Brian Ogolsky, an associate professor in human development and family studies at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign analyzed more than 1,100 studies on lasting love, and determined that finding the humor in a situation was one of the biggest factors in what made a relationship work in the long-term. “It’s not about a funniness gradient,” he says, “but whether or not that’s one of the tools in your tool bag that you pull out typically during stress. Those who demonstrate humor have a way of defusing the situation and making it easier to handle.” Note: This doesn’t refer to negative humor (like sarcasm or mocking), which can be damaging to a relationship. So, the next time your mother-in-law asks when you’re having kids, try something like: “I already have one,” and point to your S.O. She might not find it funny, but you guy will. (Then ask her about her pie recipe and swiftly move on.)

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