25 People Who Used The English Language To Be Total Freaking Smartasses
1.This person who got tired of answering the same questions on job interviews, so they printed up these cards to hand out when asked the old chestnut, "What's your greatest strength?"
2.This teacher who got unflinchingly real with any potential car thieves:
The best thing about this photo is the person losing it in the reflection.
3.The roommate of Isaac who — after Isaac started getting a lot of action — put up a survey for Isaac's bedmates to fill out for "quality assurance/quality improvement":
4.This cold weather graffiti artist who does things a little differently:
It reads: "What kind of paint are you using to paint over this? Because if it is latex, [it's] probably way [too] cold for it. You want good [adhesion], you need like at least 40°-45°. Maybe wait till it warms up a little, I mean what's the big rush? Like, I'm in a rush now. But our situations are different."
5.This guy who decided to get ahead of any suggestions he was compensating for something with this big truck:
6.These parents who were annoyed that their kids weren't cleaning their bathroom, so they put this note under a rag on the floor to see if their kids would ever find it. (That was a week ago, so the pot's down to $43.)
7.And the parents who put up this hilariously sarcastic sign to keep their kids safe:
8.This frustrated girlfriend who pointedly updated her "Live, Laugh, Love" sign:
9.This student who — after people kept leaving poop stains on the toilet seats of their dorm (yay, college!) — took it upon themself to say NO MORE:
10.This undoubtedly British office worker whose screensaver looks a lot like your typical Windows error message...but the text is most definitely NOT your typical Windows error message:
It reads: "Your fucking PC ran into... let's call that 'a problem'. Yeah. Ran into a problem. Why? Because fuck you, little cunt, that's why. We're showing you this screen while we order some quality cocaine off the dark web with your credit card, you bitchy snowflake twat. 42% complete you fucky wucky motherfucker."
Well, okay, then!
11.These fast-food workers who were absolutely exhausted from dealing with all of us numbnuts:
12.And these bartenders who, I think, we've annoyed even more:
13.This mom who ingeniously used her label-maker to keep her kids away from her treats:
14.And this dad who dadded so, so hard:
15.These incredibly good-looking people who got the perfect send-off cake for their coworker's last day:
They may be good looking, but they're not great at grammar ("then/than").
16.And this bunch of no-good friends, LOL, who got their friend this cake to celebrate her 20th birthday:
17.This poet who scrawled an instant classic in a portable toilet:
18.This convenience store owner who decided to call out a milk supplier in front of literally anyone who wants to buy milk:
19.The owner of this home who put up a hilariously perfect sign after a tree fell on their fence (they don't actually have a dog):
20.This impressively sarcastic little girl who wrote a book on how to succeed in business:
21.This gun shop owner who put a catapult out front (for some reason) and then let everyone know there's no background check for medieval artillery:
22.Bob and his concert mate who decided to amuse the people behind them (before annoying the hell out of them):
23.This teacher who sent a congratulatory message dripping — make that absolutely soaked — with sarcasm:
![David, congrats on beating the previous record for being late to class by a whopping 6 minutes; the previous record holder was you, Kind regards, Dr [redacted]](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/xl4ZfZFQ.sDmCntEC1mGVw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTU2OA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/buzzfeed_articles_778/47aa55d54dee38b43618a24257d5935a)
24.This dad, who wrote a hilariously "dad-like" excuse to get his kid out of PE class:
![Handwritten note: "Ms [redacted], please excuse [redacted] from physical activities involving stand, running and walking do [sic] to foot pain; however, if his foot falls off, he won't be in pain any more and is free to partake in normal activity"](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/cl7agznbENcc9gnhg2g67A--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTEyNTY-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/buzzfeed_articles_778/073e0092dd80fdb7114af5b169072a26)
It reads: "Please excuse [his kid's name] from physical activities involving stand[ing], running and walking [due] to foot pain. However, if his foot falls off, he won't be in pain any more and is free to partake in normal activity. Thanks."
25.And lastly, this person on an island vacation who'd absolutely HAD IT with their coworkers' constant texting:
