20 First Dates That Were Instantly Ruined By Red Flags And Bad Behavior
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their worst first dates and the red flags they noticed during those dates. We received many harrowing responses, primarily about bad first dates with men. Here are some of the most ick-inducing stories:
1."During my first attempt at meeting a guy from a dating app, he'd say, 'Yeah, so back to what I was saying,' and start talking about himself again any time I spoke or tried to help him get to know me. He wiggled around like he was a child who had to use the restroom, and the food we got gave me food poisoning. My second-ever app date talked about children's trading cards for 20 minutes and was offended I wouldn't take the leftovers home. I don't like fish, but he'd insisted I had to try a shrimp dish. I have deleted all dating apps."
2."I once had a date with a man who I worked with. He seemed nice enough, and after he begged me to go out with him, I finally agreed. I don't like to mix work and pleasure, but I thought why not. First red flag: He showed up to my door holding his coat and did a 360 turn and said, 'Don't I look great?' I was like, 'Yeah, you look very nice.' He said nothing about my attire. Second red flag: He ended up taking me out to this amazing restaurant, but my eyeballs burst at the prices. I was not comfortable paying that or having someone else pay it for me. I expressed my concern about how expensive it was, and he, in turn, replied that I didn't need to worry and to enjoy my evening with him."
"He said it would all be taken care of. I still felt uncomfortable with the prices, so I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu even though he nagged me and said to get whatever I wanted. By the time the check came, he told me how much I owed him. I asked him what he meant. He told me I made as much as he did, so I could afford to pay half. I would have been fine splitting it if it was at a place I could actually afford. Also, we had NOT agreed on going dutch, and when he told me not to worry, I thought he was implying that he would pay. Without saying a word, I paid for my food. He leaned in for a kiss when he was dropping me off, and I got out and closed the door in his face."
—Anonymous
3."I talked with a dude like 11 years ago who made it clear how waiting until marriage for any sexual activity was very important to him. That’s a red flag for me personally, but for other people I understand why it isn’t. Anyway, I decided to give him a chance. Not 10 minutes after meeting, he asked me for a blowjob. When I said no, he proceeded to throw a temper tantrum most 3-year-olds would be impressed by. I didn’t date for a while after that, not because I was traumatized, but because I couldn’t take men seriously for a while."
4."During college, I went on a date with a super-cute British guy I'd met on a dating app. We grabbed tea at a cafe before I had class one morning, and it started out well. We'd been texting for a few weeks, and we seemed to have a lot in common. Conversation was flowing well, and then he randomly started telling me a story about something he and his girlfriend did. The use of the word 'girlfriend' really caught me off guard. I was taken aback, but listened to the story, assuming he meant his ex."
"He launched into another story about his girlfriend, so I just asked what the deal was and why we were on a date. He didn't seem to understand why I was weirded out. He had a girlfriend that he hadn't mentioned anywhere on his profile (so, not like an ENM situation or an open relationship), and she definitely didn't know we were on a date. I left, and he texted me afterward inviting me to a tequila Tuesday at his frat the following week. Yikes, NOPE. I checked his Instagram for any sign of the girlfriend, but never found a clear answer. If she was real, I feel bad for her."
—Anonymous
5."I asked my 'date' if we could stop at a gas station so I could get a drink. When I came out, he was nowhere to be found. He actually left me there. It was later in evening, I was in a bad neighborhood, and I had no idea where I was or how to get home. I sat outside the gas station and cried for quite a while. I can understand not really fitting or connecting with someone you meet, but to just leave them completely alone with no way of getting home safely is fucked. The next day, he bragged on his social media about leaving me there."
6."He brought his two kids on the date, and then, in full earshot of them both, adamantly told me not to have kids and started bitching about the kids' mother. I stopped dating after that. I don't regret that choice."
7."I went on a date with someone I met on a dating app. He seemed like a nice guy and let me choose which restaurant we'd meet at. Something I thought was a red flag was when he asked me over text three times if I kiss on the first date. I said I would if there was a good connection and if there was a moment we both felt it. So, I went on a date with the guy. He seemed nice and we had dinner, but as we talked, another red flag came up. He talked way too much about himself (his work and personal life), and when he asked me questions, he focused more on wanting to know about my previous relationships. I really didn’t want to discuss that on a first date."
"At the end of dinner, he walked me to my car, and we warmly hugged. He tried to kiss me, but I turned my face and told him I wasn’t ready, and he apologized. After that date, we texted, and he asked me again if we'd kiss on the next date. I told him I didn't know yet. It was a red flag to me that he insisted on it so much and was pushing something that should happen naturally when chemistry and attraction are involved. After we texted more, I decided not to go on a second date."
—Anonymous
8."One time, I went on a date with a guy from Tinder. We both smoked, so we decided that since he was picking me up for the date, we could just smoke quickly in my place beforehand. He drank way more than me while pregaming, granted he was 6'4", so I wasn't sure what his tolerance was. We went to dinner, and it was fine. He drank five rum and cokes while I had one beer. He dropped me off after the date and had just so happened to leave his backpack in my place, so he *had* to come in."
"He insisted we should start watching a show I had told him I liked, and he suggested we change into 'comfy clothes.' I told him I was comfortable with what I was wearing. He proceeded to strip into his underwear right there in my living room and change into sweatpants and a T-shirt. I tried telling him I had to go to bed, but he genuinely thought he was staying at my place because we went on ONE date. I had to ask him to leave, which thankfully he did."
9."He talked about himself the entire dinner and genuinely did not let me get a word in. When I'd try to talk, he would just talk louder and faster to get his story out. He literally spit food everywhere because he talked a mile a minute while taking full bites."
—Anonymous
10."The one and only time I went on a Tinder date, it was a disaster. When you meet someone for the first time on a date, you put effort into your appearance, so I had really tried to look nice. Meanwhile, he was late to our date and showed up in sweatpants and a hoodie, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. He'd definitely used older pictures of himself, too, because he looked different than his pics. Whatever, though. I was already there, and he seemed nice enough still. He proceeded to talk at length about all of his past skiing stories and injuries while staring at my boobs from time to time. When he asked if I wanted to go back to his place with him, I said I had to get up early, booked it out of there, and deleted Tinder immediately."
11."If his friends show up at the same place you’re having your date and he proceeds to pay more attention to them than to you, leave. Otherwise, you’ll get ghosted and then get drunk texts a month later saying that he was 'afraid of how much he liked you' ??."
12."I met up with a guy from a dating app on a Tuesday evening. I had literally just come from work, but he happened to be off that day. He DID NOT look the same in person, and it threw me off (there was no FaceTiming back then), but I figured I'd give it a shot. He met me downtown (where I worked), and we went to a museum that I'd never been to before (but he had), and he basically rushed me through all the exhibits and walked RIGHT BEHIND ME the whole time. The conversation was boring. All he talked about was how often he went to the gym, and he kept rolling up his sleeves to show off his 'muscles.'"
"He also told me he was only looking for a relationship because all of his friends had partners and he felt left out. Finally, I was done with the whole thing and called myself a cab. What bothered me the most was that we had walked by TONS of restaurants/bars, and not ONCE did he ask me if I wanted to grab food or even a drink. I even told him that I hadn't eaten all day, but he didn't seem to care."
13."This was the biggest red flag I’ve ever encountered while dating. I overheard him telling a friend that a girl they knew turned him down once because she was 'such a slut.' He also constantly asked me to compliment him and could only get off by looking at his own body. I asked him to leave my apartment, and that was that."
14."I once went out with a guy who talked about himself almost the entire time. One of the few questions he did ask me was if I was a feminist, and then he proceeded to launch into a rant about all the things that were wrong with feminism. Needless to say, there wasn't a second date."
15."The most awkward first date I've ever been on was with a guy who spent five solid minutes talking about his young daughter's diaper rash. This was a coffee date to determine whether or not we wanted to hook up, and he wouldn't stop talking about his daughter's diaper issue."
16."My aunt insisted on setting me up on a blind date (red flag #1) when I was in law school. The guy was a rude, know-it-all type and questioned my choice of legal practice area because it focused more on helping people than making 'Big Law' money. One would think this cash-focused douche was a high-roller type, but not so much. I both drove us (he didn’t have a car in a city where you really need one) and paid for the date, and I didn't receive a thank you for either. I barely stopped the car when I dropped him off."
17."I worked as a cocktail waitress, and this guy used to ask me out every week. I was in school and worked two jobs, so I didn't really have much time. Finally, I agreed to go to an opening of an installation at the local museum. Throughout the entire evening, he seemed like he was trying to 'advertise' how great of a catch he would be if we continued dating. Toward the end of the evening, he told me how lucky I was to be out with him. I left."
—Anonymous
18."I went on a Hinge date with a guy I'd been chatting with. He was 12 years older than me, which made me nervous, but he seemed genuine and nice, so I gave it a try. Big mistake. You would've thought I was the one who was older once we met. He was so immature; the conversation was physically painful. I felt horrible about it the entire evening because he seemed like a nice person, but he just came across as veryyy annoying. I barely got a word in, and when we did talk about anything I liked (stuff we had in common), he kept saying, 'Wow, that's such a turn-on!' It's a turn-on that I like to eat food and listen to music? Really?"
"Besides the fact that he was loud and self-involved, he also kept telling me about other Hinge dates he'd recently gone on that didn't go well! I get that we're both on the apps and actively dating, but it was just so weird to get a play-by-play of these random dates. Also, any time he'd actually ask me a question, he'd drop his head in his hands and bat his eyelashes at me waiting for me to speak, as if that was funny or cutesy. The entire thing just gave me the ick."
—Anonymous
19."Red flag: He never looked at our server once! Then he ordered me a sparkling water when I was trying to order a cocktail and tried to order me a salad when I wanted a pasta dish. I still got my cocktail and pasta, just on a separate check."
—Anonymous
20.Finally: "The guy was really pushy about wanting to pick me up for the date. I was very insistent that I would drive myself and meet him instead. The date was going alright, and he asked what I was doing after. I said that I had to go pick someone up from somewhere, and asked what he was doing, just to be polite. He said that he had planned for us to go back to his place, but I had ruined that because I had other plans. I didn't want to stick around to see where this would go, so I quickly got the server to get the bill for my drink and left. Needless to say, there was no second date."
—Anonymous
What's the worst first date you've ever been on? What were some of the red flags you noticed along the way? Tell us your story in the comments below!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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