14 Guys Share Their Least Favorite Body Parts — and How They Became OK With Them
14 Guys Share Their Least Favorite Body Parts — and How They Became OK With Them
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. For too long, men have been silent about mental health and it’s literally killing us. We can change that. Our Healthy Mind, Healthy Body series shines a light on mental health issues that everyone should be talking about.
Guys are inundated with images of "perfect" male bodies. They're everywhere: in movies, on Instagram, in magazines (hell, even in Men's Health). But the truth is, most guys aren't blessed with giant arms, calves of steel, and washboard abs. And even if you log hours and hours in the gym and shovel protein down your gullet like it's your job, here's the brutal truth: most guys just don't look like Mark Wahlberg or the Rock, and most guys never will.
It's easy to feel pressured to achieve a certain look based on the dudes we see crushing it in our Instagram feeds. But even though women regularly have discussions about body image and self-esteem, the truth is that guys rarely talk about that pressure, or how unattainable the ideal male body type really is. Conversations about “body positivity” and “size acceptance” just aren't going to happen at the bar or at your boss's BBQ — even if there’s no doubt that cultural standards for physical attractiveness screw us all up, regardless of gender.
As a result, men are suffering in silence — and the consequences can be deadly. One in three people diagnosed with an eating disorder is male, according to the National Eating Disorder Association of the U.S., and that number is on the rise.
“There’s this drumbeat that muscularity equals masculinity," Dr. Harrison Pope, director of the Biological Psychiatry Laboratory at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts, told Time last year. The end result: more and more young men have been diagnosed with muscle dysmorphia, a mental disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to attain a more muscular physique. Many of these men (an estimated 4 million, in fact) have turned to anabolic steroids to pump up. Such drugs have been linked to everything from hormone dysfunction to premature death.
Moving away from these toxic body standards begins with making a choice to see things differently, starting with the reflection in the mirror — be it toned, wobbly, or anything in between. The 13 guys below were willing to open up about their own struggles with their bodies. Despite experiencing varying degrees of body hate throughout their lives, what they all have in common is the desire to move beyond it.
I hated my: gut.
Troy Solomon, 28, body positivity activist.
“Growing up, I struggled most with my tummy and chest. I was that kid who always had his shirt on at the pool and whenever someone told me I needed to lose weight, they would gesture at my stomach. Through joining the world of social media and coming out of the closet, I eventually realized life is about having fun and you truly can't do that if you give a f*ck. So I stopped caring so much about what people think. I stopped caring so much about who my body was pleasing, and focused on making my body please me.
The cold, hard truth is there are no easy tips for learning how to love yourself — it has to be a conscious, ongoing decision you make for yourself every day. I think following people with similar body types to your own is a crucial element to living life in the world of social media while on the path to self-love [...] I always tell people it’s a form of self-care to make sure you're following the right (positive, accepting, inviting, engaging, inclusive, etc.) people on social media, as well as unfollowing the ones who trigger negative thoughts."
I hated my: height.
Jack Traveller, 29, sound engineer.
"I'm 5'3", and for a very long time, my height was a source of deep shame for me, Short men, we are told, are a joke. Pathetic. Unattractive. Objects of ridicule. I felt unlovable and deeply uncomfortable in my own skin. [But] as I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed something. My height doesn’t seem to hold me back anymore. It hasn’t been the barrier in social or romantic situations that it was as a younger adult. My job involves some public speaking and networking face to face, so I think I've learned to be charming and personable. This was confirmed by a friend a while ago, who remarked that people don’t really notice my height because I’m so confident.
My advice to anyone struggling with their height is to stand up straight and speak clearly and not too fast. Remember that you are in control of social situations. You don’t have to be defined by your height.”
I hated my: calves.
Brett Williams, 27, fitness editor for MensHealth.com.
"I’m a fit guy, and I’ve been an athlete for my entire life. But I’ve been self-conscious about my 'chicken legs' since I was a teenager. My father and sister, both champion sprinters, have monster calves, so I waited for mine to come through once puberty hit. Even though my feet grew to a size 12, the rest of my legs didn’t follow.
I played football and worried about how skinny my legs looked in the knee-length pants. I was more worried about what the lack of size meant for my athletic prospects — I wanted to earn a scholarship and play in college, and running backs like me were typically speedy bruisers with massive legs. I spent tons of extra time in the weight room doing raises to try to make a difference. Nothing worked.
Eventually, I played college (then pro) football, and I learned that my legs didn’t need to look the part to work well enough for what I needed. I’m still not exactly in love with the way they look, but I appreciate what they do for me too much to fixate on their size like I once did."
I hated my: stretch marks.
Kelvin Davis, 30, model and author.
"Dealing with my stretch marks has been a struggle for me in the past. I have always had a bigger body and appreciated what it could do for me. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking my shirt off at pool parties or the beach. It wasn’t until [a few years ago] when I felt confident in my body shirtless. It feels so good to get rid of the shell and shine through all the bull crap society body and beauty standards. Always remember: everyone has a beach body. You have a body, you just have to take yourself to the beach."
I hated my: chest.
Giovonni Santiago, 32, transgender rights advocate and founder of the nonprofit META Center Inc. in Akron, OH.
“Before I had my top surgery [a procedure in which a person's breasts are removed], I saw my chest as something that was not only uncomfortable, but unnecessary. I made the decision to have my top surgery done by the surgeon that was most accessible to me, but not necessarily the one who had a wealth of experience working with transgender patients. This showed in the final result.
Even after having an additional surgery, I still struggle with the way my chest looks, but I try to remind myself that this isn’t a reflection of my masculinity or my worth. What matters most to me is that my body is mine. It’s one I’ve fought hard to have, so I’m going to work just as hard to love it.”
I hated my: head shape.
Geoff Colvin, 31, musician.
“Most hats say 'one size fits most.' But I am not in the ‘most’ category. Fitted hats (baseball/football/etc.) range from sizes 7-8 going up in 1/8 of a inch. I can sometimes squeeze in to an 8, but I am left with the visual receipt of a hostage negotiation with my forehead and the hat band, and a hairstyle reminiscent of the contents of a vacuum sealed bag.
Fortunately, my stylists helped me come up with a badass custom cut tailored to my head. They suggested fading on the sides of my head with fade lines based on the shape of my head. This always gives me a crisp, clean haircut and makes you feel like a million bucks. Experimenting with dyeing your hair is also a great way to express yourself, looks awesome, and is a great conversation starter when out and about.”
I hated my: abs.
Christopher Cupcakes, 43, Pilates studio owner and yoga teacher.
"I had an eating disorder in my teens and 20s. Even at the height of my disorder, I was never able to achieve those six-pack abs that we see on magazine covers. I felt unworthy that even when it was flat, it never had that six-pack look. Now as a yoga and pilates teacher, I know that having a strong core is more important than having six-pack abs. Having a strong core helps to stabilize your whole body and support all that your body does for you; from standing to walking and more.”
I hated my...neck and chin.
Gianluca Russo, 20, social media editor and writer.
"I've always thought having a double chin was like, the worst thing ever. On America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks always said that having a long neck is everything, so I would do anything to try to make my neck look skinnier/longer. Many in my family or group of friends who were plus-sized always talked about hating their double chins, and when I took a picture they would tell me to just edit it out, so I soon adopted that same mentality.
Now, as I’ve gotten more into photography and taking pictures, I’ve had to gradually just accept that there’s nothing wrong with it. There's nothing that makes a long, skinny neck better than one like mine. So it’s been a long process, but I’m much more comfortable now than I was even 6 months ago or so."
I hated my...gut.
Daniel Magier-Kayse, 27, homeowners association manager.
"I've always been self conscious about my lower stomach, regardless of my weight. The 'little pouch' that I had made me feel less like a man, in comparison to fitness models or old action figures. So once I learned that my body just happens to hold fat in this area, and that only strict diet and exercise would ultimately get rid of this area, I became able to accept my body.
Two years ago, I weighed 202 pounds; I currently weigh approximately 172 pounds. I still have those days where I can't stand my own reflection. But in a sense, I have come to terms with my appearance because I know I do what I can to be healthy (proper nutrition and exercise, etc.)
I have learned that being body negative affects not just your [own mental health], but also the relationships you have with others. I think the biggest step is recognizing that health comes first, and then that no two bodies look alike, so comparing yourself to someone else doesn't help in the long run."
I hated my: receding hairline.
Houston Hardaway, 27, software technician.
“I started balding in my early 20s. I wasn't surprised: my dad was bald, as were both of my grandfathers. But I thought baldness was what happened when your life was over. It was old, boring, and repulsive. I never felt these things about other bald men, but I knew that’s how people would view me.
I did everything I could to delay the inevitable. I tried Rogaine for a year and a half. I really got into hats. Near the end, I was using keratin flakes to coat my scalp each morning. I was scared: scared that people would find out that I cared so much, scared of how baldness would change me, scared that the rain would wash the product out of my hair and expose me for the fraud I was. I was frozen with imagined humiliations.
When I finally decided to shave my head, I was by myself in a locked bathroom and I could barely look at the mirror in front of me. With every stroke of the razor, I remember thinking, ‘This is it. I will never have the option of being desirable again.’ Then it was done. And my hair was gone. And life didn’t change. And no one treated me differently. I realized that I was letting fear control my life, and I never wanted that to be the case again. I am a much more fulfilled person now than I ever was, and if I had never lost my hair I wouldn’t be the person I am today.”
I hated my: chest.
Arcadio Ady Del Valle, 31, plus-size model and body positivity advocate.
“My ample chest area wasn't always easy to love. It's not the average chest size you'd see on a male or plus male. [But self-love] is something that you do little by little every day until you fully accept your ‘flaws’ and you learn to use them to your advantage to inspire others that look like you.”
I hated my: bald spot.
Zachary Kolin, 30, hedge fund analyst
"Pretty much as soon as college started, I began going bald. I would wear baseball caps a lot to try and hide it, I'd get expensive stupid haircuts to mask it, all sorts of stuff. My friends always told me I should shave my head, but I always assumed they were just messing around with me and pulling a prank or whatever. Eventually, I just kind of accepted the fact that I was going bald and decided, 'F**k it.' I sort of resigned myself to it.
But then something changed: I was Bane for Halloween one year (you know, this guy). I had a jacket like his, and the mask, and everything. So I'm at a Halloween party, and this guy is like, 'Hey man that's a sick Bane costume, but you gotta shave your head if you're gonna be Bane!' So I decided to try it out, and at that party they shaved my head. And I loved it! It was a completely, totally new look for me. And I've been rocking the shaved head look for years now."
I hated my: pecs.
Jordan Daniels, 23, writer.
“‘Man boobs’ were the bane of my existence throughout my primary education. It was particularly painful when people would grab or ‘scoop’ my chest and laugh. One kid in middle school told me I had udders and would moo at me, which really traumatized how I saw my body for a long time.
"Eventually, I realized that 'fat' is just a descriptor and it has nothing to do with being beautiful, whatever that means to you. It took me a long time to reclaim that, but when you stop giving power to how ‘fat’ makes you feel, then you really start to see your own beauty and that transcends a number on a scale or a label in your pant/shirt size.”
I hated my: love handles.
Alessandro Carella, 32, aeronautical engineer.
Photographing [myself] naked or in my underwear in front of the mirror and posting my photos on Instagram and Facebook has been liberating. I found many positive comments and only some negative.
Getting to accept my body, and all my delicate parts, has never been easy. There are still moments when I do not love myself very much. [But body positivity] is a life choice in which one learns slowly to accept and appreciate one's body without being bad to oneself."
"My body is mine. It’s one I’ve fought hard to have, so I’m going to work just as hard to love it.”