10 ways to make the most of May in the UK

It’s the month of mass Morris dancing, cheese-chasing and people setting fire to things. Chris Leadbeater seeks out popular pastimes...

1. Roll with it

Is there anything more British than taking a 9lb wheel of Double Gloucester, lobbing it down a steep gradient and chasing it? This is the Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling caper (cheese-rolling.co.uk) – on May 28, near Brockworth, Glos. Where there’s a Co-op with a cheese section. But, you know, whatever.

2. Garden variety

Hmm. Anything for my child? Ideally something not involving scorched eyebrows or broken ankles? Yes. There’s Heligan Wild Week, at the Lost Gardens of Heligan in Cornwall (May 26-June 3; heligan.com; adults ￡14.50, five-17s ￡6.50), where children will tackle an assault course in “tribal headdresses” and face paint. 

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3. Call me May-be

Well, we’ve just met, and this is crazy, but it’s May on Tuesday – and if there’s ever a month for peculiar behaviour in the UK, then it’s the fifth of the year; a segment of the calendar when it’s completely OK for grown people to don fancy dress on weekdays and chase lumps of dairy produce down grassy slopes. Witness the ’Obby ’Oss Festival in Padstow, which salutes May Day (May 1) via twin processions through the Cornish town – each led by a male dancer dressed as a horse, prodded on by a group of “Teasers”. The two equine wanderers meet in the evening at the foot of the maypole. One or two adult beverages may be involved (see padstowlive.com/events/padstow-may-day).

4. Flame game

Your mother always told you not to play with fire. Trouble is, the Beltane Fire Festival (beltane.org) wouldn’t work without somebody messing about with matches. Held on Calton Hill, Edinburgh, on the night of April 30-May 1, it involves dance, theatre, music, flames and a May Queen. Tickets from ￡9.

5. What the dickens

Rochester is a leading light of May mania in the giddy shape of its Sweeps Festival (May 5-7; visitmedway.org/sweeps-festival), which pins its tale to the folklore character “Jack in the Green” and the spring ritual of chimney sweeps dancing to mark the change of season. Charles Dickens covered such events in Sketches by Boz, and hailed them as “objects of great interest”. What do they involve? A lot of morris dancing.

6. Well well well

What have we here? Communal water sources framed by flowers in what may be a pagan rite giving thanks for a clean supply of H20? Prevalent in the Peak District? Yes, officer, that’s the gist of it. Well-dressing is closely linked to the Dales village of Tissington, but is found across Derbyshire and Staffordshire in May – see visitpeakdistrict.com/whats-on/well-dressings.

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7. 'Bourne identity

There’s more to May than Morris and his quick feet. For proof, look no further than Eastbourne, and its International Folkdance Festival, which will set the East Sussex coast a-twirling next weekend (May 4-7; eiff.org.uk; adult tickets for the whole shebang ￡108). This hurrah of hot-stepping will fling its gaze beyond the waving of handkerchiefs to French, Breton, Romanian – and even Balkan – floor-filling. Diverse.

8. Leave it til later

I want to be part of May Day-esque merriment, but I don’t want to do so on May Day. I’m quirky, you see. Right, sure. Then get thee to the village of Wellow in Nottinghamshire, where a dancing-round-the-maypole bonanza is due to take place (facebook.com/WellowMaypoleCelebrations), but on May 28. Take that, the system.

9. Ply and ply again

Why does it all have to be so strange? Can’t I just have a cup of tea and go to an exhibition about, oh, I don’t know, the bombing of Plymouth in the Second World War, and its reconstruction from the rubble? Funny you should ask. You need Plymouth History Festival (May 5-June 3; historyfestival2018.wordpress.com). 

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10. Heavy petal

Bouncing cheeses? Bonfires? Is there nothing less frenetic this coming month? Well, yes. There’s the RHS Chelsea Flower Show (May 22-26), which a few people seem to have heard of. There’s another Royal Horticultural Society showpiece as well, the Malvern Spring Festival (rhs.org.uk/shows-events/malvern-spring-festival; May 10-13; from ￡18 per day) – which may not be quite as busy, but will still be a banquet of colour.