10 Different Ways We Eat Pizza (and What They Say About You)
It hails from Naples, Italy, but pizza has become a quintessential American meal. You order a couple pies for a casual family dinner, or enjoy a personal serving to yourself while eating out. You’ve enjoyed in the form of calzones, rolls, mini bagels, and even atop a fried chicken crust. (We’re looking at you, KFC.) Most of all, you enjoy eating it in unique ways.
Whether you slice, fold, or pick at your pizza, see if you can identify with any of these 10 ways. Is your preferred pizza-eating style missing? Let us know in the comments below!
Fork and Knife
It might not be instinctive, but using a fork and knife is a totally legitimate way to eat your pizza. If you’re having a heavy and saucy Chicago deep-dish pizza, picking it up with your hands (from a searing pan) is not the smartest move. Pizzas in Italy basically require forks and knives since the servings are not pre-cut like they are in the U.S. Often you’ll find Italian locals in restaurants or formal settings using utensils, though in causal situations they’re all hands on. Even Mayor de Blasio of New York has been seen doing it, turning back on his city’s’ the handheld tradition.
What It Says About You:
You’re traditional, refined, and a bit on the classy side. You don’t like jumping in to things and getting your hands dirty (literally), so you take calculated steps to completing a goal. Even if that goal is covered with pepperoni or sausage pieces.
Fold in Half
This one is quite a polarizing issue. While some find this approach sacrilegious, New Yorkers and tri-state area fans stay loyal to this technique. And it’s not entirely without reason. The triangular slices in New York tend to be bigger, and people are usually buying them on the go for lunch or a late-night snack; a convenient way to chow down on the move is to fold the piece in half straight down the middle. The tradition has so infiltrated New York that a squirrel in Brooklyn was spotted doing it. Maybe he can teach de Blasio a thing or two.
What It Says About You:
You always have somewhere to be, so you need to be able to do things on the go. Even if you are in one place, you need to be able to keep one hand free to do something else while you eat. You live at a fast pace, most likely pronounce Houston as “how-ston,” and are comfortable walking anywhere — pizza in hand of course.
Pinch Hold
Alas, we might have found a compromise to the folding “controversy,” although for some pizza purists, even a half fold is too much. However, this method has a utilitarian advantage: if you fold the top of the pizza while keeping the bottom open and elevate it so the tip is still on the plate, you can drain out excess grease. If you hold it just the right way, (pointer finger in the middle of the crust, all other fingers beneath the slice to support it) you can keep the ends of your slices straight instead of drooping off the edge with sauce and cheese.
What It Says About You:
You know how to mediate an argument, or at least stay neutral. You are practical and know how to get things done in the most effective way possible.
Inside-Out Fold
Wait, what? This revolutionary — or insane, depending on your beliefs — trick was introduced last year by Dan Pashman on Sporkful. By folding your slice inside out, the first part to hit your tongue is the flavorful cheese and sauce rather than the plain dough. Disclaimer: this works best when toppings are minimal, as one could imagine the mess created by turning a sausage-pepper-olive-onion-and-extra-cheese pizza inside out.
What It Says About You:
You are unconventional, quirky, and adventurous. People might not get you at first, but once they get to know you, they find out you’re pretty stellar.
Stacking
Put one slice on top of another — either facing the same way or facing each other — and bite in. We recommend this technique for multi-taskers, over-achievers, and John Travolta fans. (Have you seen how he downs his two slices during the Saturday Night Fever intro?) Pashman simply calls this method “The Travolta.”
What It Says About You:
You can handle more than the average human and are ready to take on a challenge. You’re the type of person who puts chips in a sandwich or fries in a milkshake just to be daring. Or you’re just really, really hungry.
Backwards
Crust first, then cheese. It’s as difficult to hold as it is unconventional, but if the pie has just emerged from the oven and the center is still searing hot, it may be best to start with the crust, especially if it’s achieved the perfect balance of a crunchy outside and chewy inside.
What It Says About You:
You like going against the grain. You’re rebellious, you break the rules, and you don’t really care what people think.
Leave the Crust
Some people foolishly think they are being “healthier” by leaving behind the perfectly fine crust because it’s full of “empty carbs” (Reality: You’re eating pizza. And not because it’s healthy). And in some unfortunate instances, the doughy end is just not as good as the rest of the slice, and turns out too hard or too rubbery. One way to salvage this is to dip the crust in a sauce like garlic, ranch, or extra marinara. If your crust happens to be stuffed, even better.
What It Says About You:
You are extremely organized, and can keep work and play separate. If we were to look in your calendar, all the appointments would probably be color-coded with planned-out events running well into 2016.
Remove Toppings
Stripping a slice from sausage, pepperoni, ham, and even pineapple is not just for picky eaters. Topping enthusiasts might save them for last, or eat them first if they’re the best part. (There’s even a Facebook page dedicated to it.) However, the only way for this method to work if you actually eat the toppings in some way when they’re off the slice. If not, you’ve just put extra work into ordering it plain.
What It Says About You:
You like to savor the good things in life. You’re easy-going, are in no rush, and like to take things slow. You live in the moment and are willing to put in a little work for your happiness.
Pizza Facial
Just like a good face facial, you strip the surface of your slice of excess oils. With a napkin in hand, you dab away at the tiny pools of grease atop the cheese until they’re dry. There’s a bigger advantage to this maneuver than protecting your shirt from accidental oil stains: grease-fracking can also potentially remove 36 calories from your slice. But then again, this is pizza we’re talking about so who are we kidding here.
What It Says About You:
You are health-conscious and prioritize cleanliness. You don’t like messy surprises, so you fix problems as soon as you see them. As an avid calorie-counter, you are the type of person who stays true to one’s diet. Except for when it comes to pizza.
Regular
Just pick it up and eat it already!
What It Says About You:
You are a no-B.S. individual whose convictions cannot be swayed by the latest trends. The only thing that matters to you is getting that pizza into your mouth.
Illustrations by Hanifa Abdul Hameed