This Is the #1 Most Obvious Sign You Have a ‘Soul Tie’—Plus, How To Break This Type of Connection
Have you ever felt an intense connection that is almost spiritual? Perhaps it is spiritual. You've probably heard of soulmates—the idea that you have a deep connection with a person. It's not needy but rather mature and natural.
However, another term has developed a micro-following that's becoming more mainstream. The widespread use of the term "soulmates" is helping the buzz around "soul ties" gain steam—after all, the hashtag #soulties has more than 75K tags on Instagram and nearly 300 million views on TikTok.
"The concept of soulmates is widely believed, which makes the idea of 'soul ties' more easily understood and accepted," says Rachel London, an elite matchmaker and relationship expert with Cinqe Matchmaking, who often helps with matchmaking for Christian clientele.
But it can get a bit controversial, namely with experts sharing there's a misconception that soul ties only apply to sexual relationships. Others may think it's just plain woo-woo.
Of course, relationships develop differently and aren't one-size fits all. Some swear by "love at first sight," while others may not have even liked one another for years before dating and tying the knot. There's room for all of it.
"Regardless of belief in soulmates or soul ties, it is important to approach relationships with openness and seek partners who have shared values, goals and vision for the future," London says.
Whether you believe or are interested in them, here's what to know about soul ties.
Related: OK, So, Twin Flames Are *Not* Actually the Same as Soulmates—Here's How To Tell the Difference
'Soul Ties' Meaning
London says that a soul tie refers to a spiritual and emotional bond or connection two people share. It often—but not always—leads to sexual intimacy.
"The idea is that when two people engage in sexual activity, their souls become connected, and if the relationship ends, there may be lingering emotional or spiritual ties that can be harmful," London says.
But one relationship expert who works with clients on breaking soul ties stresses that they aren't exclusive to intimate partners.
"One can have soul ties with friends, family and significant others," says Kimberly Parker, BS, MBA, FSW, CCTP (Ph.D. Candidate), with Healthy Mind Counseling & Nutrition, LLC.
Soul Ties and Christianity
The word "soul" has ties to Christianity—no pun intended. But are soul ties and Christianity linked?
"There are varying views about what they are and practices for breaking them, but the origins can be traced to the Bible," London says.
Galatians 6:14 says, "I have been crucified to them, and they have been crucified to me. So by the cross of Jesus Christ, I break every soul tie and every unholy bond."
It varies among denominations and individual believers, but the common thread between sex and soul ties in Christianity is that intercourse is not just a physical act—it's emotional and spiritual as well.
"This bond is thought to be particularly harmful when sexual activity takes place outside the context of marriage, as the act is believed to violate God's design for sexuality and therefore not covered—or protected—by His covenant," London says. "Outside the covenant, it is not that the act itself is necessarily immoral, rather that it creates an opening for demonic influence to mar something sacred, and we are more prone to spiritual attack outside the covenant of marriage."
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The #1 Most Obvious Sign You Have a Soul Tie
It's hard to pinpoint the biggest red flag of having a soul tie. Still, London and Parker agree that having challenges moving on from a relationship—even one that ended poorly or was toxic—is a hallmark sign. And, again, this can be any type of relationship—not just romantic or sexual.
You may even stay in the relationship even when it's no longer serving you. "Even though the relationship is toxic, you find excuses to stay, this person is on your mind continuously," Parker says. "They may even show up in your dreams."
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Other Signs You Have a Soul Tie
Aside from not being able to break free of a relationship—Facebook officially or emotionally—Parker shares that there are several other signs of soul ties, including:
Feeling drained by every interaction
Not recognizing yourself in the mirror
Feeling void of happiness
Consistently saying things like, “Where did he or she go?,” “Why am I feeling this way?,” and “I do not feel attached to my body.”
Disruptive sleep patterns
Nightmares
Engaging in negative coping strategies like binge drinking or eating
Neglecting person hygiene
Living in a constant state of fog
Toxic becomes your normal
"Throughout my career as a trauma-based psychotherapist, most of my clients with PTSD symptomatology have been in toxic relationships," Parker explains. "The battle to break away is a soul tie that is bounding you to this toxic person."
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Are Soul Ties Healthy?
Unlike soulmates, soul ties generally have a poor reputation.
"Soul ties are typically viewed as a negative influence," Parker says.
How Long Do Soul Ties Last?
Some believe that soul ties can last forever.
"The soul is comprised of the mind, will and emotions—intangibles that are not the body, but are also not the spirit," London says. "It is believed that soul ties, therefore, transcend the death of the physical body, which would mean soul ties can be eternal."
Parker points to this passage from Matthew 16:19 as proof, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
Related: 35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They Do the Trick, According to Therapists
How To Break Soul Ties
Soul ties can last forever, but do they have to go on in perpetuity? No, says Parker.
"I can tell you from personal experience when I decided to cut ties with toxic people, life started to get better," Parker says. "Leaning on God and incorporating prayer daily is what broke the ties."
London agrees prayer is an important way to break a soul tie—but there are a few caveats.
"A confession of faith is the prerequisite and should be followed by repentance," London says. "Something important to note is that one must pray with authority from a place of belief, declared power and continual praying until all strongholds are broken and demonic influences have been cast out in Jesus' name. Do not be discouraged if you do not feel an immediate or complete shift. Press in and continue praying."
Also, it will likely help to unfollow or block the toxic individual on social media as well as block their number from your phone. By removing those options of checking in on and reaching out to each other, it will be easier to cut ties completely (even if it feels extremely difficult in the short term).
Next up, If Something Feels a Little Off, Make Sure You're Watching Out for These 40 Relationship Red Flags
Sources
Rachel London, an elite matchmaker and relationship expert with Cinqe Matchmaking
Kimberly Parker, BS, MBA, FSW, CCTP (Ph.D. Candidate), with Healthy Mind Counseling & Nutrition, LLC.