Wynonna Earp recap: Purgatory goes under Cleo law
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Now, Waverly is a very attractive woman. I think we all could forgive Nicole Haught for getting caught up in their steamy reunion and forgetting to mention all the changes in Purgatory. But she left out a LOT of details. I mean, a lot a lot. Her whole “you’ve been gone for 18 months” thing didn’t even scratch the surface!
Here’s what we know: A woman named Cleo has taken over the town and elected a new sheriff. She seems cuckoo in the most fun way — just the type of person you’d imagine trying to take over Purgatory. Apparently, after BBD evacuated the town, demons fled to the Ghost River Triangle. Now the town is in quarantine. It’s not like COVID quarantine, though: This one allows humans in and out of the Triangle but keeps all demons from leaving. Sure would help if Wynonna still had Peacemaker!
The (former?) Earp heir and Doc find themselves in a town that is eerily different. They walk into Shorty’s, which has been turned into a health bar. Chrissy Nedley comes out and immediately places Wynonna under citizen’s arrest for her father’s murder. Turns out, Sheriff Nedley has been missing ever since Wynonna left. Chrissy and fellow townspeople are about to hang Wynonna when new Sheriff Holt comes out and says there must be a trial. Wynonna gets taken to jail while Doc goes to find Nicole and Waverly for help.
At the homestead, Waverly is meeting Rachel (where was she during their long love-fest???) when a bell goes off. Rachel explains that they have ten traps around the homestead to keep out the “monsters.” But this time they’ve only managed to catch Doc. He explains Wynonna’s predicament, and they decide Doc needs to track down Mercedes, who was likely the last one to see Nedley alive. She’s been working at a new demon bar, which is called — wait for it — Glory Hole. Because, of course, it is.
Mercedes is actually posing as a vampire performer at the bar. She tells Doc it’s safer to be a demon in Purgatory these days. The owner of the bar is a big fan of Doc’s, who he calls an “undead legend,” but Doc is really just there for the intel he gets from Mercedes: She tried to nurse Nedley back to health, but he kept getting smellier and sicker and he finally just wandered into the woods. She assumes he’s gone because of the “People Eater,” who wanders the woods and is like if “Wolverine impregnated a chainsaw.” She sure knows how to paint a picture.
Sheriff Holt tosses Wynonna into jail with a half-demon named Casey (or who I refer to in my notes as “Kimchi from Kim’s Convenience!!!!!”). He’s giving her the low-down on Purgatory when Magistrate Cleo comes in and decides she’s going to throw a Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cook-off for Freedom. Everyone in jail gets to participate, and whoever wins gets a get out of jail free card. Wynonna has a hard time believing this is real, and Casey says it’s better than the “Tops-Off Dance-Off for Freedom” they’d had previously. This Cleo sounds like a real good time!
Waverly and Nicole show up at Shorty’s to help in the chili making, and it’s a good thing, too, because Wynonna tries to start the recipe with a brick of cheese. (I won’t lie, if someone handed me a bowl of queso and told me it was chili and acceptable to eat with a spoon, I would not complain.)
While the chili is cooking, Doc is out hunting the People Eater. He finds a liquor truck it attacked (full of booze, which the Glory Hole owner was smuggling in since they’re in a dry county now). The People Eater is still nearby and tries to go after Doc, but he makes a break for the homestead.
Nicole is feeling guilty about leaving Rachel on the homestead alone, so she heads back and just in time. Doc is there trying to figure out how to outsmart the People Eater. Rachel is trying to convince them to let her use her homemade kombucha as bait, saying the animal that smells like “blue cheese and boy feet” howled when it stepped in her kombucha. That’s the exact phrase Mercedes used to describe Nedley before he wandered off. That’s enough proof for Doc to realize this monster isn’t their enemy.
Wynonna tosses out Waverly’s seitan and the whole idea of a vegan chili. She steals bacon from Casey and somehow ends up winning the competition — which completely stumps Chrissy Nedley, who was a judge, and Waverly, who tasted Wynonna’s disgusting chili. Something is definitely up: Instead of freeing her, Cleo keeps Wynonna bound, takes her to the edge of town, and tosses her to the monsters. Waverly, Doc, and Nicole get there just in time to help save Wynonna, tie up Monster Nedley, and… shoot him with water guns? I’m not 100 percent sure what happened there, but Nedley is back to his old cranky self.
With danger out of the way, for the time being, Doc heads back to the Glory Hole and tries to get the owner to buy back his own liquor and create a contract for safe passage of future trucks. That Doc is always scheming!
Meanwhile, Nedley reunites with his daughter and then sends her the f outta town. It’s not safe for anyone at the moment. As she’s going through the border security, a BBD supervisor double checks her paperwork. It’s Jeremy!!! Chrissy whispers, “They’re back,” before driving out of town.
And just when you think they can all get at least one night’s rest, Wynonna gets kidnapped from the barn by three black ops agents.
So, who exactly is our Big Bad this season? Black Badge Division? Eve? Cleo, who seems to know the Earp heir, but isn’t a Revenant. The Glory Hole owner? Monsters in the woods? Only time — and hopefully not another time jump — will tell…
Best Earp-ism of the episode:
“I missed so many Property Brothers.” —Waverly
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