The Week in 'Wives: RHOA in New Orleans, RHOD in the news, and RHONJ in flux
Happy April, Housewives faithful! It was a wild week here in the Bravo-verse, and I'm not fooling. The Real Housewives of Atlanta kicked things off with the second vacation of the season, this time organized by Drew, who invited everyone onto the private jet. Next up, The Real Housewives of Dallas' preparations for a road trip to Oklahoma (where there'd better not be any spiders, or Kameron is outta there) were derailed by a controversial news story. And finally, The Real Housewives of New Jersey kept the drama turned up to 11 as their shore trip continued, now with the additions of Evan and Bill. Read on for the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'Wives!
HIGH POINT: A Big Easy bike ride, RHOA
The Atlanta ladies all seemed to agree that the New Orleans vacation was an improvement on their South Carolina getaway from minute one — with the exception of Kenya, who was offended by Drew's room selection process and then unimpressed by the room she got by declining to participate. Everyone aligned, however, during an evening bike ride through the city. "Ahh, the wind blowing through my lace front!" Porsha sighed in a confessional. "Drew is killing it! How often do these big asses get on little bitty bikes? Not often." Even Kenya had a blast, the significance of which was not lost on her hostess: "When Kenya is having fun, it makes a difference in this group," Drew observed. "It felt like we are all friends, for the first time in my experience."
LOW POINT: Brandi plays the victim (again), RHOD
Ugh, spare me. Brandi and D'Andra were about to make up after their tiff over Brandi making a completely ridiculous show of moral superiority after the shaman ritual. Great. Then a story came out, however, in which D'Andra answered a question about whether this season of RHOD would address Brandi's racist video. D'Andra assured Page Six that the ladies address the issue "head on." This quote was used for the headline (of course, it was) because Bravo fans wanted to know the answer to this question, because Brandi publicly posted something deeply offensive. Brandi was for some reason very angry that D'Andra gave a bland but supportive answer to this obvious, completely inevitable question, and we, the innocent viewers, had to sit through her tantrum over it. Perhaps the most ridiculous part? Brandi's text that she was disgusted that D'Andra spoke to the press about her "racist video" — yes, in quotes. Okay, "Brandi."
WILDEST MOMENT: An apology? From Teresa? RHONJ
This entire roller coaster of an episode qualifies as the wildest moment, to be perfectly honest. Picking up right where we left off last week, every Housewife (and most of the husbands in attendance, too, besides the heroic Frank Catania) delivered their own moment of high drama, all within the second half of one single dinner party at Dolores' shore house — and that was barely the prologue! The next day, my heart raced as everyone gathered at the Gorgas' to lounge by the pool, but then Teresa actually apologized, kind of, and Jackie and Evan were happy to put everything behind them. So they did! It was "one of the weakest apologies I've ever seen," Margaret says, "but coming from Teresa, it's a frickin' miracle." Hallelujah! Now everyone's friendly, we're having a great time, drinks all around — until Jennifer and Margaret start to rehash each other's roles in the fight from the night before, prompting an ugly dig from Jennifer about the old revelation of Margaret having slept with her boss as a young woman… Honestly, my head is spinning.
?? QUEEN OF THE WEEK ?? Drew, RHOA
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ARTIST TO WATCH: Kenya's toddler daughter Brooklyn on RHOA, who immediately decorated her New Orleans hotel room and her food with blue crayon. RHONY's Barbara may have thought she knew how to leave her mark on a space, but self-tanner's for amateurs.
NEWS OF THE WEEK: That's not hospital you're smelling; it's allegations of fraud! (RHOSLC)
HOTTEST PARTY: Tiffany's twin daughters' princess teatime on RHOD, hands down. Enormous respect for anyone who orders birthday caviar before they've even aged into the double digits.
SUDDENLY CRAVING: Some New Orleans fried alligator (approved by "baby vegan" Porsha on RHOA), eggs grilled by Joe Gorga on RHONJ, and why not throw in a Westcott Academy-made PB&J from RHOD. Good eating this week!
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