A Waterworks eulogy for a beloved and beautifully offbeat bar | Mark Hinson
Waterworks in Midtown is going away.
So is a big part of Tallahassee.
I am heartbroken.
The tiki bar started life in 1992. It was originally housed in a former hair-cutting salon on North Monroe Street downtown under the watchful eye of founder Don Quarello, known as Don Q. to his friends,
From the start, Waterworks was not your average bar.
Last call over: After 32 years, iconic tiki bar and restaurant, Waterworks abruptly closes
Jungo, a volunteer dude in an ape suit, would call out Bingo numbers every Sunday night. When Waterworks staged its first-ever Festivus (for the rest of us) festival one Saturday afternoon, Jungo and a faux Prince Murat wrestled in a downtown park. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard.
For many years, the Friday night entertainment was Songband, which played tunes by Led Zeppelin and AC/DC on banjo and accordion.
When the jam band Phish played at the Civic Center, the members wandered over to Waterworks one afternoon. They were drawn in by the Orange Julius furniture and the “toast art” portrait of Prince Murat fashioned out of bread by Dennis Gephardt.
“Where are you guys playing tonight?” Don Q. asked lead singer Trey Anastasio. “The Cow Haus?”
“A big room, some place called The Civic Center, I think,” Anastasio said.
“Oh,” Don Q. replied.
Let’s just say that Waterworks wasn’t a jam band kind of place. Live jazz was moreWaterworks’ speed.
The big move
The bar left its downtown digs around 2000 and moved into the Kent’s Lounge building when Midtown was just becoming Midtown. Kent’s Lounge was famous for its strong drinks, hardcore-country jukebox, and working-class clientele.
When Don Q., a South Florida native, introduced the Polynesian tiki-bar theme, the old bar flies from Kent’s thought a gay bar had moved in and would leave notes on Waterworks patrons’ windshields.
Everyone was welcome at Waterworks, as long as he or she met the over-21 door policy. Waterworks was not a college bar, but it was a home away from home for everyone else.
It was a bar where jazz cats would jam one night, a classical outfit would play the next and a surf band wearing monkey masks would take the stage on Saturday nights. The recent Tiki Tonk nights featured a band churning out hillbilly-charged country-fried rock.
Every Bastille Day on July 14, Don Q.’s friends would stage the original short play “A Celebration of Ice.” The play recreated the day when Dr. John Gorrie invented an ice machine to chill champagne for the French bigwig in Apalachicola. The accents were wonderfully atrocious.
Come on. Name another bar that does that.
Time to drop some names
The famous also rubbed elbows with locals at Waterworks.
Comedian Patton Oswalt dropped by after a show at Florida State. Oscar-winning director Jonathan Demme, who filmed “Something Wild” (1986) around Tallahassee, stopped in when he was in town.
So did Tallahassee-raised stars such as Tony Hale (“Veep”) and Cheryl Hines (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”). David Harrington from Kronos Quartet served as a guest deejay at Waterworks. Novelist Jennifer Egan (“A Visit from the Goon Squad”) spent an evening having drinks. Jazz royalty such as trumpeter Wynton Marsalis and pianist Marcus Roberts performed at Waterworks.
Oscar-winning director and Florida State film school alum Barry Jenkins (“Moonlight”) said from the Ruby Diamond Auditorium stage in 2017: “Waterworks is cool, man. When you’re young, freshman or sophomore, you don’t go to Waterworks. When you hit that junior, senior year, you find Waterworks.”
Now it’s going away.
Don Q., who is relocating to hills of North Georgia, I want to thank you for being such a bastion of beautiful weirdness and center of delight for all these years.
There will never be another Waterworks.
Mark Hinson is a former senior writer at The Tallahassee Democrat. He can be reached at [email protected]
This article originally appeared on Tallahassee Democrat: Waterworks' last call: Obituary for a beloved Tallahassee bar | Hinson
