Tim Ryan Just Released an Album Because He Knows No One Listens to Him on TV
The next Democratic primary debate may be coming up Thursday on ABC, but Congressman Tim Ryan will not be a part of it. To qualify, a candidate had to receive contributions from 130,000 unique donors, as well as poll at or above 2 percent in four national surveys. Here's the thing though: you can't keep this man down. Like a phoenix, he will rise, come up with a terrible catch phrase, and fly again. That's why Tim Ryan has a Spotify page now. If you don't want him on your stage, then dammit, he's going to drop an album.
On Tuesday, Ryan released his first album, entitled, "A New and Better Agenda." It is fine. Featuring hot tracks like "Intro," "New Industrial Policy," and the earworm known as "Regenerative Agriculture," Spotify currently reports that each track has less than 1,000 listens. Sure, it's a slow burn, but wait until Grammy season opens up—because if you think this man can't win the presidency, wait until you see him not win a Grammy.
Each track on the spoken-word (??) album outlines Congressman Ryan's stance on a litany of topics, but I can't help thinking that some intern hit the record button and just did the "keep going!" hand signal for three to four minutes. Delivered with the urgency of a DMV worker who hasn't had a vacation in four years, Congressman Ryan's first album is great for falling asleep to, or possibly drowning out construction happening near your home. Occasionally, you'll hear campaign goals, like how Ryan wants to make sure schools have salads. The 10-track album runs for 31 minutes, but like most of Tim Ryan's diatribes, it feels like a lifetime.
Does this all mean that Tim Ryan failed at making an album? No. He definitely made an album. But much like Thursday's upcoming debate, don't expect him to show up on a stage with it. No, this one is for the real ones—the fans who have been with him since the beginning.
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