‘The Golden Bachelorette’ recap: Who had the most memorable entrance, who got the first impression rose and who got sent home

Hello! I’m Laura Bradley, a culture critic and Bachelor obsessive. The Golden Bachelorette is here, and I'm ready to laugh, cry and cringe through Joan's journey with you. The limo entrances were a little tame (no unicorn heads, sadly), but there’s a lot to unpack. Spoilers ahead!

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What went down this week ??

America met (or remet) its first Golden Bachelorette, Joan Vassos. Here are the highlights from Night 1 and best social reactions:

What we learned about Joan: Joan lost her husband of 32 years to pancreatic cancer in 2021. Now she’s looking for someone who makes her feel “visible” like he did. As Valerie Monroe wrote, she has "remarkable authenticity." [People/Yahoo Entertainment]

Who had the most noteworthy entrance: The real romantic was Jonathan, who wore an eye mask for Joan to remove so that they could really see each other. Did I mention he wrote her a poem afterward? *fans self* [Entertainment Weekly]

Who got eliminated: Thomas, Bill, Pablo, Ken, David and RJ ... we barely knew ye. Most of these cuts weren’t shocking, but I was rooting for RJ after his joke about being a 6-foot-5 guy with blue eyes who works in finance. Tragic! [Today]

Senior superlatives ??

1?? Most Likely to Bring His Daughter to Work: Mark

As sweet as it was to see Bach alum Kelsey Anderson introduce her dad, Mark will need to learn to shine on his own. It shouldn't be hard — he seems like a silver fox with a heart of gold. Watch the scene. [GMA]

2?? Best Dressed: Jack

I respect that in a sea of tasteful neutrals, this proud racquetball champion dared to wear a hot pink jacket. Even better, he’s a retired chef and cooked Joan a sumptuous meal. 10/10! [Entertainment Weekly]

3?? Best Fake-Out: Charles K.

Charles showed up with a cane, faked a wobbly walk and then dropped and gave us 20. Was this move funny or cocky? As someone who can't do push-ups, I laughed. [Entertainment Weekly]

4?? Best Dad Joke: Chock

Chock did his homework: Joan's chicken noodle soup is TikTok famous, so he brought his own “Chock-a-Noodle” soup. Free food and a clever pun? What more could a gal want? [TikTok/Variety]

5?? Most Likely to Move Into the Mansion: Charles L.

Has anyone ever been more excited than Charles L. about the Bachelor Mansion kitchen? Careful, Joan. He might be here for the wrong reasons (like more counter space and a full fridge). [House Beautiful]

All about the first impression rose ??

Y’all ready for some Bache-lore? In 2004, Jesse Palmer was the first Bachelor to hand out a First Impression Rose, and it became a regular thing starting in 2007. Bachelorettes have historically done a way better job of sniffing out their final pick from the start.

Who Joan gave it to: That would be “girl dad” Keith, who pulled up in a station wagon. Much like a practical car, Keith ticks many boxes: Tall, warm, easygoing. No wonder Joan zoomed past all the other men to give him the rose. [USA Today]

Who Joan should have given it to: Am I the only one crushing on Jordan? He's got a great smile, started a rousing pickleball game and even brought a Chicago-themed sweater for her granddaughter. What can I say? Gifts are my love language. (My colleague Valerie is also on the Jordan train!) [People/Yahoo Entertainment]

Can I steal you for a second? ??

A one-on-one with Kristen Baldwin

Each week, I’ll talk to a Bachelor Nation superfan. On Week 1, I was thrilled to catch up with Entertainment Weekly TV critic Kristen Baldwin — one of my favorite recappers in the game.

Laura: You’ve interviewed Joan. Why is she such an exciting lead?

Kristen: She’s a very classy, dignified lady, and it’s impossible not to root for her. Also, she’s someone who knows what she wants, so I don’t think she’ll be telling multiple people “I love you.” (*cough* Gerry *cough*)

Laura: How will The Golden Bachelorette be different from The Golden Bachelor?

Kristen: I think it might be funnier. Based on everything I’ve heard, it sounds like the mansion turns into kind of a senior citizen frat house with a lot of goofy — and at times emotional — male bonding.

Laura: If you had to be trapped in an elevator with one of these guys, who would you pick and why?

Kristen: I'd have to go with Gary. He's Tina Turner's godson, so he must have amazing stories.

Go deeper: Kristen got Joan's take on watching the premiere back for the first time. Read the interview.

Golden masculinity moment ??

Does anything scream “boomer dating rituals” louder than Jack (otherwise known as Mr. Pink Jacket) serenading Joan with Frank Sinatra? When he had all of the men singing it together, I swear I felt the earth shake. [Variety]

?? This week's cry counter: Between Joan and the contestants, I counted people crying 10 times during Night 1, mostly thanks to those video messages from contestants’ kids.

The Golden Bachelorette airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

About In Reality: If Wednesday nights are for watching The Golden Bachelorette, then Thursday mornings are for diving into every detail with Laura Bradley, our Golden Bachelorette correspondent. Sign up.