‘The Golden Bachelorette’ recap: What happened on Joan Vassos’s dates with Pascal, Chock and Guy

Happy Halloween, rosebuds! How are we doing post-fantasy suites? We’ve only got two episodes left, so let’s unpack this suitcase full of drama before next week’s “Men Tell All” — which Charles L. tells me will be “a happy reunion.”

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What went down this week ??

Week 7’s Tahitian fantasy suites were as unpredictable as ever — or were they? Two of our guys are still all in on Joan, but one kept his walls up and left Joan in tears.

Who surprised Joan with a visit: Remember Nancy from The Golden Bachelor? Turns out she lives close to Joan and they’ve become friends, so she came to Tahiti to offer some support. Great work if you can get it! [Entertainment Weekly]

Who went home: Pascal told Joan that his walls were coming down, but producers called his bluff with a “bonding ceremony” date, so he freaked out and self-eliminated. Just saying, my fave girl dad Jordan would never… [Glamour/Cosmopolitan]

Who made the final two: It’s down to Chock and Guy. Who’s the frontrunner? You guessed it — still Chock! You know it’s real because he and Joan always murmur sweet nothings to one another when they reunite, and they had an absolute blast on their ATV date. [TVLine]

Senior superlatives ??

1?? Best Dressed: Joan

I need Joan to release a vacation apparel line with Talbots, because every single look was immaculate. From the flowy dresses to the silky wraps, to the fun statement jewelry, it was 10’s across the board. [Entertainment Weekly]

2?? Dreamiest Date: Guy

Guy is clearly the producers’ favorite, right? I mean, he got to go snorkeling with manta rays, while Pascal got the Serious Date? and Chock got the ATV date (my least favorite Bachelor date). Well played! [People]

3?? Most Sunburned: Chock

Guy and Chock both looked pretty rosy after their fun in the sun, but while Guy’s skin seemed to recover over dinner, Chock remained beet red. Hey, maybe he was just that chuffed to be with Joan. [Entertainment Weekly]

4?? Most Predictable: Pascal

At the risk of beating a dead horse, Pascal’s exit sucked. I’m sympathetic with his fear of intimacy, but he spent weeks asking Joan for patience. Could he not have had his epiphany before flying to Tahiti? [TheWrap]

5?? Most Introspective: Also Chock

We love a man who self-examines, don’t we? Even under that blazing sun, nothing was hotter than Chock journaling after his overnight. Committed and thoughtful? Now that’s marriage material. [USA Today]

Can I steal you for a second? ??

A one-on-one with Bryan Alexander

I DM’d USA Today Golden Bachelorette recapper Bryan Alexander to discuss overnights, Golden Bachelor frontrunners and more.

Laura: Wow, Joan removed the beds from the fantasy suites! How did that change the dynamic?

Bryan: It brilliantly shifted the focus from the physical to the emotional connection. Joan's taking the search seriously and showing the strength not to follow every Bachelor Nation trope. You go, Joan! Toss out the coffee table, too!

Laura: You’ve written a lot about this season’s friendships in your recaps. Who's your favorite bromance?

Bryan: The guys are fantastic, but Jonathan and Mark are the cool kids everyone loves (guilty!) ... who also heart each other.

Laura: Let's talk about The Golden Bachelor. Who's your pick for the next lead?

Bryan: To me, everything about Mark's odd departure signaled a set-up for the next Golden Bachelor, right down to avoiding rose dismissal. And he has all the tools. Charles L. would also be an absolute hoot.

Go deeper: Look back on some of the franchise’s most awkward fantasy suite moments.

Can I go there? ??

This week’s fantasy dates took place in Moorea, an island in French Polynesia and an excellent addendum to any Tahitian vacation. Grab a ferry from Tahiti for $11 to $15 and enjoy some immaculate beaches, gorgeous vistas and luxurious lagoons. And once you’re done, check out a few more stunning islands. [Travel Noire/Travel + Leisure]

?? This week's cry counter: I counted three crying sessions this week — one when Joan first saw Nancy, and two after Pascal sent himself home. Here’s hoping next week brings only laughter.

The Golden Bachelorette airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

About In Reality: If Wednesday nights are for watching The Golden Bachelorette, then Thursday mornings are for diving into every detail with Laura Bradley, our Golden Bachelorette correspondent. Sign up.