Tallulah Willis Opens Up About Coping With Father Bruce Willis’ Dementia, Says She’s “Known Something Was Wrong for a Long Time”
Tallulah Willis is getting candid about how she’s coping with her father Bruce Willis’ dementia, from when she first learned about his diagnosis to finding acceptance in the present day.
In a first-person essay for Vogue, Willis gets vulnerable talking about how her own struggles impacted her from being completely present with her family during the early stages of Bruce’s diagnosis, which she said she’s “known that something was wrong for a long time.”
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Last year, the Die Hard actor’s family said he was “stepping away” from his acting career after being diagnosed with aphasia. Then in February, his family shared an update on his health, saying his condition has worsened and that he’s now facing frontotemporal dementia (FTD).
“It started out with a kind of vague unresponsiveness, which the family chalked up to Hollywood hearing loss: ‘Speak up! Die Hard messed with Dad’s ears,'” Willis, who’s also the daughter of Demi Moore, explained. “Later that unresponsiveness broadened, and I sometimes took it personally.”
She continued, “He had had two babies with my stepmother, Emma Heming Willis, and I thought he’d lost interest in me. Though this couldn’t have been further from the truth, my adolescent brain tortured itself with some faulty math: I’m not beautiful enough for my mother, I’m not interesting enough for my father.”
But when Willis said she was supposed to be there for her family, she admitted that she was facing her own struggles, saying, “I have met Bruce’s decline in recent years with a share of avoidance and denial that I’m not proud of.”
Willis detailed her battles throughout the last decade after getting sober at age 20, including suffering from anorexia nervosa and being admitted to a residential treatment facility for depression. She was also diagnosed with ADHD and started on stimulant medication, which she called “transformative.”
But while she was “wrapped up in my body dysmorphia, flaunting it on Instagram,” she said her dad was “quietly struggling.”
“I had managed to give my central dad-feeling canal an epidural; the good feelings weren’t really there, the bad feelings weren’t really there,” Willis recalled. “But I remember a moment when it hit me painfully: I was at a wedding in the summer of 2021 on Martha’s Vineyard, and the bride’s father made a moving speech. Suddenly I realized that I would never get that moment, my dad speaking about me in adulthood at my wedding. It was devastating.”
As she tried to navigate her emotions and to understand Willis’ health, she admitted that she still has “hopes for my father that I’m so reluctant to let go of.” But as time goes by, she is slowly finding her version of acceptance.
“Recovery is probably lifelong, but I now have the tools to be present in all facets of my life, and especially in my relationship with my dad,” she said. “I can bring him an energy that’s bright and sunny, no matter where I’ve been.”
She continued, “In the past I was so afraid of being destroyed by sadness, but finally I feel that I can show up and be relied upon. I can savor that time, hold my dad’s hand, and feel that it’s wonderful. I know that trials are looming, that this is the beginning of grief, but that whole thing about loving yourself before you can love somebody else — it’s real.”
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