‘SNL50’ Monologue: Steve Martin Gets Canadian Martin Short Deported by ICE
Steve Martin, during his monologue for Saturday Night Live‘s 50th anniversary special, got his Canadian pal Martin Short into an unfortunate situation with Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
“I’m Steve Martin, Saturday Night Live‘s newest diversity hire,” began Martin, who first appeared on the late night show in the 1970s and has since hosted 16 times. “What a thrill it is to be here. When I heard SNL wanted to do an anniversary special, I wanted to leap in the air! And the only reason I didn’t is because at the time, I was wearing a short skirt with no underwear.”
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“I can’t believe I made it here in time,” Martin recalled. “It was only a few days ago that Lorne [Michaels] told me I was doing the monologue, and I was actually vacationing on a friend’s boat down in the Gulf of Steve Martin.”
“Saturday Night Live, as you know, turned 50 years old this year, and I turned 79. But I feel like I’m 65, which is also not good,” Martin joked. “Seriously, I do not mind getting older. Do you think these hearing aids make my ass look smaller? I do.”
After “honoring” SNL writers — located outside in the rain — in a segment he said was written by artificial intelligence, fellow comedian John Mulaney joined Martin onstage.
“We writers really appreciated that tribute, but I believe the heart and soul of this show is the celebrity hosts, many of whom are in this room tonight,” Mulaney said. “As I look around, I see some of the most difficult people I have ever met in my entire life. Over the course of 50 years, 894 people have hosted Saturday Night Live, and it amazes me that only two of them have committed murder.”
Mulaney continued: “Each week, a new celebrity host comes in with their own dynamic and they throw everything off. But not you, Steve, because you have no dynamic.”
After Mulaney exited, Short arrived, with Martin introducing him as “the only Canadian who wasn’t in Schitt’s Creek.”
When Short told him he thought the two — who have toured together several times — would be co-hosting the show, Martin asked, “Do you have your passport on you?”
“No,” Short replied empty-handed, prompting Martin to call out: “ICE! Get him!”
While being dragged away by two agents, Short pledged to cooperate.
“Don’t take me! I’ll name names!” he yelled, before listing other prominent Canadians in the industry. “Mike Myers! Jim Carrey! Catherine O’Hara! Damn you, you white-haired son of a bitch!”
Martin closed his monologue with a special message for any viewer who wasn’t enjoying it:
Maybe you should get up and take a good look at yourself in the mirror, and say to yourself, ‘What have I become? This can’t be Steve’s fault.’ And ask yourselves, ‘When did I abandon joy?’ And: ‘What can I bring to the monologue as an audience member next time?’
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