‘SNL’ Cold Open: Trump Cuts Off Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Rap to Defend His First Week in Office
The first Saturday Night Live since Donald Trump’s second inauguration began with the Republican president interrupting the signing of the Declaration of Independence–which Lin-Manuel Miranda had begun to rap about–in order to proclaim that he’s in his “king era.”
Trump (James Austin Johnson) proceeded to defend his actions thus far, which include ending security details for former officials who have been receiving death threats, pardoning about 1,500 Jan. 6 rioters, saying he wants to get rid of FEMA, signing an order aimed at ending birthright citizenship, and directing the government to recognize two genders and end DEI practices, among many others.
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“Just like the Founding Fathers, I am creating a new country as well. And just like them, we’re doing it very whitely. DEI is over. It’s dead. Workplaces must go back to looking like the TV show The Office,” he said, before taunting Miranda.
“Look at Lin. He got tricked into coming here. Now he’s frozen on stage,” he said as Miranda and others held their places in the darkened background.
“But it’s been a great first week. I’ve done more in the past four years than ‘Sleepy Joe’ and Kamala did in the past four years, all thanks to my beautiful executive orders. From now on, there will be two genders. One to work, and one to cook,” Trump went on.
“And we’re done with LGBT. No more drag, no more guys in wigs, no more whatever these guys were wearing,” he continued, signaling behind him. “What a weird way to dress, right? A little zesty. ‘Darling, I’m off to start America! Hand me my wig and my tights and my big blousy shirts.’ So we’re going to go back to common sense in regards to gender. And the women will wear the makeup. No more makeup on men…unless you need it to be president.”
Trump then referenced his executive orders withdrawing the U.S. from the Paris Climate Agreement and the World Health Organization. This was achieved, Trump said, “using something I call the pullout method–something, frankly, I wish I did a lot more in the 1980s. Eric!”
He also praised Pete Hegseth, the scandal-plagued former Fox News host who was barley confirmed as Secretary of Defense on Friday night.
“He said he was going to start drinking if he got the job, and that’s all I needed to hear. ‘I’ll never drink again!’ The famous promise people make right into the toilet,” Trump said, before taunting Miranda some more.
“He wrote a whole rap, and he doesn’t get to do it. Ah, the audience would have eaten that right up. But we’re not going to hear it. He’s in sniffing distance of an EGOT and he’s got to stand there ’till I’m done,” Trump said, as Miranda began to crack. “Linnie, linnie, linnie, linnie. Laura Linney. Lin-Manuel Miranda Cosgrove. There he is. He’s such a mor-an.”
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