From grief to love on Valentine's Day: Smithereens guitarist Jim Babjak announces engagement
Cupid is rocking and rolling this Valentine's Day — Jersey style.
Jim Babjak, guitarist for the Smithereens of Carteret, asked music industry insider Cindy Sivak, also a Carteret native, to “grow young with me” on Christmas at his Manalapan home.
She said yes, and they’re now engaged.
“Some people say the relationship is destiny or written in the stars and I love astronomy but I disagree,” Sivak said. “We wrote our own story, and we’re still writing it. It’s an unlikely pairing and here we are.”
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Sivak, 63, who has worked at MTV, Sirius satellite radio and more music industry positions, had vowed never to marry a musician.
“I worked in the music industry for the past 40 years and I’ve seen a lot of bad behavior,” Sivak quipped.
Jim was different, she said.
“I got to know him — we were more acquaintances in recent years,” Cindy said. “I got to know him as a father. I got to see how he is with his sons — he was a devoted dad then and still is. He’s a great son to his parents who live in Arizona. He calls them every week. From a distance I observed his marriage to his late wife Betty, and they had a wonderful union.”
Babjak lost his wife of more than 30 years, Betty Babjak, to pancreatic cancer in 2016. She was 56.
In 2017, Smithereens lead singer Pat DiNizio passed away. He was 62.
“Life is short. I know it’s a cliche,” said Babjak, 66. “When stuff like that happens, it really makes you think and it changes your whole outlook on life. You’re thinking, 'Man, I want to live life to the fullest.' I want to have a happy life and I want Cindy to be a part of it.”
The Smithereens — also Dennis Diken and Mike Mesaros of Carteret — are known for hits like “Blood and Roses, “Behind the Wall of Sleep,” “Only a Memory,” “House We Used to Live In” and “A Girl Like You.” The band has continued on with rotating lead singers, primarily Marshall Crenshaw and Robin Wilson of the Gin Blossoms.
The transition has seemingly strengthened the bond the band has with fans.
As for Babjak and Sivak, their connection goes back to Carteret High School. He was a senior and she was a freshman who first met on the school's soccer field. They remained friends over the years. In the 1980s, as the band's trajectory was rising, DiNiizio asked Sivak to help with booking Smithereens shows in New York City.
Sivak's music industry smarts is wide ranging. For instance, she had to deal with record labels not willing to supply Sirius radio with music when the station was first launched in the 1990s. At the time, the labels didn't want to draw the ire of terrestrial radio stations.
“I had a budget and bought millions of dollars worth of CDs from the Virgin Records Mega store in Times Square,” Sivak said. “Four dollars a clip to build up the music library. The songs weren't available digitally.”
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Babjak, meanwhile, was rocking the world with the Smithereens, and raising three sons (Max, Alex and Tom) with Betty.
Tragedy then struck. Babjak needed help in arranging a memorial show for Betty, and he asked Sivak for assistance.
The Betty Babjak Memorial Concert in October 2016 at the Hungarian-American Citizens Club in Woodbridge helped raise proceeds for the Betty Babjak Memorial Fund, which awards scholarships for Rutgers students who have lost a parent to pancreatic cancer.
Babjak and Sivak became reacquainted, and a year later they were dating.
“I always admired Cindy's independence. She's a smart woman and we just hit it off,” Babjak said. “We have similar tastes in many things, and this history of friendship, too.”
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On Valentine's Day, they'll be together at a casino in Rancho Mirage, California, where Babjak is playing a rare solo show.
More Smithereens concerts and releases are coming, he said. Babjak also is brewing his new line of coffee, Babjax Coffee.
And he's just become a grandfather, as Max and his wife Lauren have a baby girl.
Babjak and Sivak have not announced a wedding date.
“I’m a lucky guy to find love at this age,” Babjak said. “We cherish our time together and try to live our best lives.”
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Chris Jordan, a Jersey Shore native, covers entertainment and features for the USA Today Network New Jersey. Contact him at @chrisfhjordan; [email protected]
This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Valentine's Day: Smithereens guitarist finds love after loss
