‘RuPaul’s Drag Race 17’ group 1 power rankings from best (Suzie Toot) to worst (Joella)
On the season premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 17, the 14 new queens entered the Werk Room together, but host RuPaul Charles had them divide themselves into two groups of seven for a split premiere of talent show performances in “Drag Queens Got Talent.” Performing in the first week were Acacia Forgot, Arrietty, Jewels Sparkles, Joella, Lucky Starzzz, Lydia B Kollins, and Suzie Toot.
Instead of RuPaul, Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, and special guest judge Katy Perry scoring the queens, the seven girls that didn’t perform decided the tops from the bottoms via the Rate-a-Queen twist. By their judgment, Jewels and Suzie were the top two and Acacia was the bottom (and she’s positioned to lip sync for her life in Episode 2 because of it).
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Since alliances, friendships, and shade came into the queens’ decisions, we thought it worth while to play Rate-a-Queen ourselves by providing our own RuPaul’s Drag Race 17 group one power rankings, with an honest look at who was best and who was worst. Check out our list below, and let us know what you think in our reality TV forum.
SEE‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ winners list: Every season, plus ‘All Stars’
1. Suzie Toot
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By this point in the series, the talent show is the chance for each queen to brand themselves in front of the judges and America with an original song that most of them just straight up lip sync and dance to. Like most, Suzie’s song was about herself and she danced to it, but instead of leaving it at that, she earned the infamous cackle from Ru when she diverted the song into a tap dance recital of “The Gettysburg Address in Morse code.” That blending of talent, humor, and being just a plain ol’ oddball on stage is exactly what the Drag Race talent shows are for and, boy, did the judges eat it up.
2. Lucky Starzzz
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The only reason Lucky is one tier lower than Suzie is that she brought the oddball humor and personal branding in her rap about “Lucky’s Lemonade,” but didn’t deliver anything we haven’t seen before. In fact, aside from the full body painted costume that we understand to be Lucky’s personal aesthetic, her performance gave very much Plane Jane “Burger Finger” from Season 16. Even the liquid-squirting breast plate wasn’t all that original, especially when you have mother-of-the-whipped-cream-bra Katy Perry watching from the judges’ dais. All we need is a queen from Season 18 next year to sing about waffle cut fries and we’ll have a full picnic on our hands.
3. Jewels Sparkles
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Like we said, dancing in a lip sync to your original track is nothing special for a drag queen in the talent department, but when you get dancer that moves so fluidly and fluently across the stage then you just have to give them praise. In her own way, Jewels reminded us of the powerhouse performances from Anetra and Mirage in seasons past, and her pony-twirling and splits moments during “La Leche” ranks right up there with walking ducks and heel-clacking for us.
4. Acacia Forgot
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Where Acacia missed the mark in appeal to her peers is that she forgot this is a drag queen competition, and not actually America’s Got Talent. In that sense, she sang quite lovely and had an impeccable country starlet look for the stage, but the performance lacked any excitement or humor that is an unspoken prerequisite on the Drag Race Main Stage. Still, for nailing the “talent” part of the challenge brief, we give her a comfy spot in the middle of the pack.
5. Lydia B. Kollins
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Similar to Acacia, Lydia’s performance felt half-baked and not entirely right for the occasion. If her only idea for a climax was to emerge from her hilariously abstract human-sized puppet as her normal looking self then the better idea would have been to never emerge at all. The puppet was so weird it was right — all she needed was an ending that made it more weird, not less. The point would have been to leave the audiences jaws open through to the end, not to help them pick them up with the final thought, “Hmm. OK.”
6. Arrietty
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Arrietty had the right idea bringing a cultural dance to the stage because it’s something she could bank on standing out in the crowd, but there were no levels to the performance — it started on a good note and ended on a good note. Sure, the spinning of her gown looked great on stage, but where was the drama? She could have easily done the same thing as part of a walk down the runway and it would have slapped, but instead she under-delivered in a moment that required the queens to go as over the top as possible.
7. Joella
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Now, Joella committed the cardinal sin of Drag Race talent shows by ticking every box of the checklist without adding anything extra: branded song? check; body suit? check; cross-stage strut? check; high kick? check. At the end of the day her performance gave no impression on who or what she represents as a drag queen and so that leaves the bitter taste of basic in our mouth.
Next time on Drag Race…
Hitting the stage on Jan. 10 for their talent performances in front of guest judge Doechii will be Crystal Envy, Hormona Lisa, Kori King, Lana Ja’Rae, Lexi Love, Onya Nurve, and Sam Star. Once they’re rated, one of them will join Acacia in the first Lip Sync for Your Life to determine which queen gets the Season 17 pork chop.
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