Big dill energy: Comic actor the Pickle gets salty over 'Masked Singer' elimination

Wednesday was 2000s Night on The Masked Singer — an episode featuring guest stars Jewel (aka Season 6 winner Queen of Hearts), NSync’s Lance Bass, and The Office actress Kate Flannery, not to mention judge Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg all dressed up in double-denim a la Britney and Justin at the 2001 American Music Awards. It was an evening devoted to what mouthy contestant the Pickle called “the decade when the internet beef was born,” and the not-so-jolly green giant certainly had a beef with The Masked Singer when he was eliminated Wednesday.

This Pickle, aka Michael Rapaport, was very, very salty.

"I know you are pissed-off right now. He's mad, for real!" host Nick Cannon yelled, as the unmasked comic proceeded roast the panel while Fox censors strategically placed a logo-shaped censor bar over his mouth. When longtime fan Nicole Scherzinger said she was "star-struck" by Rapaport's presence, he barked, "Don't suck up to me now! You had your chance! ... I didn't just do great, I did fantastic! I was unbelievable! ... I should be at In-N-Out Burger chilling right now!"

Rapaport then added, "In all seriousness, I had great time. ... It's all a show."

The judges thought Pickle might be Craig Kilborn, Dax Shepard, Conan O’Brien, Howard Stern, Charlie Sheen, or even Sean Penn (that last one was Ken Jeong’s ridiculous guess, which effectively ended his two-week “hot streak” in this supposed “Season Ken”). Robin Thicke was even convinced that Pickle was Ken’s former Community co-star and frequent Masked Singer guest judge Joel McHale. But I immediately identified that raspy voice, which a vexed Jenny had said was “so familiar!” Even the robotic distortion on Rapaport's spoken voice couldn’t disguise his “big dill energy.”

Perhaps it was prophetic when Rapaport lamented, “The truth is, I don’t stand a chance,” during his cover of Weezer’s “Beverly Hills.” (Side note: His switch of the refrain “gimme gimme” to “pickle pickle” was so genius, it almost warranted the use of the Ding Dong Keep It On Bell.) But this cool cucumber certainly went down swinging during his sweet-vs.-sour Smackdown performance of Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” with fellow at-risk contestant S’More.

So, I got this one right, but based on Wednesday’s other Group A performances, I’m beginning to worry that my Season 10 hot streak has ended as well. Oh, well — at least I get to start over with four new Group B mystery celebrities next week, when they take the stage for Elton John Night. In the meantime, I’m making some last-minute adjustments to my guesses for Gazelle, Cow, and S’More, who are moving on to the semifinals:

Gazelle, “Lucky”

Luck was on this beautiful creature’s side tonight, as she delivered a beautiful Britney tribute. “You are an all-around star,” Jenny told her.

The clues: She opened up about someone she “loved and lost” just a few weeks before she got married, and how she felt that dear departed person’s presence during the wedding ceremony when it began to rain. We also saw a mouse (a likely Disney reference) and dog-tags. Past clues have included a surfboard, a Hawaiian shirt, a sign that said “Threat Level 3,” cheerleader pom-poms, a movie soundtrack, and the word “villain.” We also know that Gazelle once “crashed and burned” on a national talent show as a teenager.

Judges’ guesses: Mandy Moore, Hilary Duff, Ashley Tisdale.

My guess: Until this week, I was convinced that Gazelle was Tia Carrere. Every. Single. Clue had seemingly pointed to the Honolulu-born, triple-threat entertainer. But this week, a mention of a current husband and a “film debut in the 2000s” ruled out Tia. So, now I am switching my guess — with an even greater amount of conviction — to Hawaiian actress/singer/Disney star Janel Parrish. Janel’s first movie was 2007’s Bratz, she has won four surfboard-shaped trophies at the Teen Choice Awards for Best Villain, and she was rejected on Star Search at age 14. But the biggest tip-off, which totally seals the deal, is her father-in-law was killed by a drunk driver two weeks before her 2018 Hawaiian wedding to Chris Long. “When Chris started talking about his dad, the sky opened up and it just started pouring rain on us. … It was such a beautiful moment,” she told ET in 2019. The Gazelle is Janel.

S'More, “Hey There Delilah”

S’More continued to melt hearts, especially judge Nicole’s, with this gooey Plain White T’s classic. “I am a sucker for a crooner,” confessed Nicole. “If I didn’t have a fiancé, I’d have such a crush on you right now!”

The clues: The 2000s was S’More’s decade, but he took a step back from “touring with my bros” to focus on fatherhood. We also saw blue sunglasses and hairspray. On previous episodes, we found out S’More “started off on a rocket to fame” that took him “from obscurity to major heartthrob status in a matter of weeks,” and that he was “born for the fearless life in the spotlight” but his father discouraged him from pursuing a showbiz career and advised him to pass on a major career opportunity. Later, S’More “conquered the Broadway stage” and made his dad proud. We’ve also seen a gaming console, a Florida orange, a pizza, a Christmas angel, and a can of soda.

Judges’ guesses: Jordan Knight, James Marsden, Rob Thomas, Ashley Parker Angel.

My guess: Ugh. I think this is another one I initially got wrong. I had been so certain that this was Justin Guarini. Every. Single. Clue had seemingly pointed to the American Idol runner-up. But when S’More mentioned “hanging out on set of TRL” and his “music videos playing on MTV,” that ruled out Justin, whose debut album bombed and yielded no videos. But I think Jenny’s guess — Ashley Parker Angel, from the Florida-based boy band O-Town — is a great guess, and one I now agree with. Ashley became instantly famous via another TV talent show, Making the Band; his son was born in 2005, the year when S’More noted he took a break from the road; he has had theater roles in Hairspray and Wicked; and he starred in the movie Pizza Man. Plus… there was an angel clue, duh! I’d now bet all or nothing that this is Ashley.

Cow, “Cry Me a River”

Robin called Cow’s Justin Timberlake cover “outstanding” and the “best performance of the night. That was milky and buttery!” It’s clear that this isn’t the Cow’s first rodeo. He’s a pro.

The clues: Among this week’s clues were a judge’s gavel, a birthday cake, and a mention of a role in a “moosical.” Past clues have included an absentee father, a boxing glove, dance shoes, Grammy Awards, “hit after hit after hit,” the date July 4, a Las Vegas sign, coffee, and a movie ticket. But this week’s most specific clue was a funny story about how Cow and his friends once packed up a van and headed to the Capitol Records building in Hollywood, where they performed in the parking lot every day to get A&R executives’ attention, only to be kicked out by security guards. But now Cow's picture hangs on the Capitol Records hallway and he “sees the bigwigs all the time.”

Judges’ guesses: Mario, Ne-Yo, Jason Derulo, Taye Diggs.

My guess: OK, I’m changing my guess again. I once thought this was Billy Porter or Usher. Every. Single. Clue had seemingly pointed to them. But that Capitol Records story makes it abundantly clear that this is Robin's guess, Ne-Yo, who — according to Ne-Yo’s Behind the Music episode — once drove from Las Vegas to Los Angeles with his late-‘90s/early-2000s boy band, Envy, and blasted their music outside the Capitol Records building hoping to a land a deal, but were shooed away by security. I should have recognized the Cow’s voice — from when Ne-Yo was runner-up the Badger on The Masked Singer U.K.!

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

• Rubber Ducky, you're not the one: Eliminated 'Masked Singer' contestant is famous comic actor

• Ken Jeong on his biggest 'Masked Singer' guessing fail: 'I'm not only shocked, but embarrassed'

• Nick Cannon on quitting 'America’s Got Talent': 'One of the best decisions I ever made in my career'

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