‘Old Guy’ Review: You’ll Never Guess How This Arthritic Hitman Feels About Working with a Young New Partner
Imagine you wake up after years in a coma, tied to a chair with a masked stranger holding a gun to your head and insisting that you summarize the plot of a new movie you’ve never seen with no context other than the title. You might assume you were a goner until you heard that the movie was titled “Old Guy.” With only those two words, you might be able to infer that the film was about an old guy who had found success in some kind of stereotypically tough career, like policing or crime. And your first guess would probably be that he was set in his ways and forced to interact with someone younger who saw the world quite differently. You might guess that he insists on working alone and doesn’t take kindly to new blood, only to find his stance softening as they encountered danger together.
And you’d be right. Simon West’s “Old Guy” is just as reliant on tropes as its name suggests, starring Christoph Waltz as Danny Dolinski an aging hitman battling a nasty case of arthritis who is asked to mentor a rising star in his industry. Wihlborg (Cooper Hoffman) is an incredible shot who has already worked half a dozen dangerous jobs. The only problem is that he might be too good at killing. The kid never seems to complete a job without dropping a few innocent bystanders on his way out the door, so Dolinski’s employers ask him to teach him the type of discretion that’s required to enjoy a long career in the murder-for-hire industry.
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Wihlborg is everything Dolinski isn’t. While the old guy lives in an impeccable leather jacket that looks like it’s accompanied him on more than a few missions, the kid likes to wear colorful hoodies and beanies. Director Simon West and screenwriter Greg Johnson take every opportunity to remind each other that the teacher and student are opposites that don’t attract. Dolinski doesn’t like that Wihlborg paints his nails, while Whilborg thinks Dolinski drops the word “retard” a bit too liberally. But sartorial disagreements take a backseat to the bigger generational conflict: Dolinski wants his apprentice to shut up and learn to listen, but Wihlborg doesn’t think he needs to be taught anything.
Through a series of conversations in neon-hued bars and sentimental sunset walks, we get to see the mentor-mentee relationship evolve into something a little more nuanced than what you’d typically expect from a buddy action comedy. The storytelling beats might be the same as a thousand other movies, but they’re executed with enough tenderness to have audiences genuinely rooting for a friendship to form. The same can’t necessarily be said about a romance between Dolinski and a disposable love interest played by Lucy Liu, who only pulls focus away from more important storylines without adding anything of narrative value.
You’ve probably seen this movie a few times already, but the two leads work hard to ensure that “Old Guy” can at least be a pleasant diversion on your next two-hour flight. Dolinski isn’t the most interesting character in the world, but Christoph Waltz is still one of the great actors of his generation. It’s always a pleasure to see him in a leading role, and he embodies the titular old guy with enough world weary charisma to prevent the gimmick from ever becoming grating. And the script doesn’t give Hoffman nearly as much to work with as he had in “Licorice Pizza,” but “Old Guy” is Exhibit B for the argument that he has enough screen presence to be a movie star like his father.
Ideally, you want your action comedies to contain compelling action sequences and funny comedy. At the very least, it’s fair to expect one of the two. Despite a semi-compelling relationship at its core, “Old Guy” isn’t nearly as funny as it thinks it is, and its set pieces are quite flat by action standards. It’s far from the worst film you’ll see about an aging hitman taking his grievances about the passage of time out on the youth. But it’s a reminder that any filmmaker who wants to tell a story about an old dog reluctantly learning new tricks would be better off finding some fresher tricks of their own.
Grade: C+
The Avenue releases “Old Guy” in theaters everywhere on Friday, February 21.
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