Yahoo Picks: 15 musical reality shows that need to come back
"Bands Reunited," "Bands on the Run" and "Rock of Love" never should have been canceled in the first place.
The Voice Season 24 just premiered with new coach Reba McEntire, and The Masked Singer recently returned with a big Demi Lovato reveal. But as we officially enter fall TV season, I’m thinking of a few truly classic music reality shows that need to return — and really should have never been canceled in the first place.
Some of these shows probably would not fly today (I’m looking at you, Rock of Love, Bands on the Run, The White Rapper Show), but the airwaves could use a little more reality-rock — and a whole lot more Sebastian Bach — right about now.
15. Hit Me, Baby, One More Time
This compulsively watchable 2005 series featured legacy artists of the ‘70s and ‘80s singing songs of the aughts in an attempt to show the kids how it’s done. The glorious result was pure TV gold — like Haddaway doing Britney Spears’s “Toxic,” Tommy Tutone covering Blink-182’s “All the Small Things,” Vanilla Ice having his way with Destiny's Child’s “Survivor,” Cameo doing “1985” by Bowling for Soup, the Knack doing Jet’s “Are You Gonna Be My Girl,” and Wang Chung sassing and vamping throughout “Hot in Herre” by Nelly. (The latter two performances, seen above, were legitimately, credibly great.) Apparently there was a whole British edition too, on which Doctor and the Medics epically covered Robbie Williams. I would purchase both the U.S. and U.K. series on DVD and watch them on a constant loop, if I could.
14. Redemption Song
Imagine a season of American Idol starring only Suicide Girls pinups and Bad Girls Club alumni. That gives you a pretty good idea of what this 2008 Fuse TV series was like. A bunch of tatted-up rocker chicks with checkered pasts and bad attitudes competed for a Geffen Records contract, and the cobalt-haired Amy Winehouse doppelganger who won, Mixi, was actually genuinely talented. (She’s blonde now, fronting a punk-metal band called Stitched Up Heart, so I guess she’s not totally redeemed.) The best part of every episode was the elimination ceremony, when a vinyl record emblazoned with the name of that week’s ousted contestant would be snapped in two by the show’s host, professional wrestler and part-time metal belter Chris Jericho.
13. Married to Rock
Sometimes I still think I fever-dreamed this entire series, which ran for one brief but glorious season in 2010. Did bona fide rock ‘n’ roll legends like Jane’s Addiction’s Perry Farrell, Guns N’ Roses’ Duff McKagan, the Cult’s Billy Duffy, and Billy Idol axeman Steve Stevens really all agree to star in a Real Housewives-style “docuseries” for the E! network? That didn’t actually happen, did it? Yes, it actually did. And it was fascinating. My favorite episode was when Stevens let his wife Josie redecorate his tour bus… and she crammed every nook and cranny with the entire contents of Hollywood's Sanrio superstore. It was the all-time best use of Hello Kitty products in a reality show — aside from that fabulous Kitty-themed episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, of course.
12. Platinum Hit
Kara DioGuardi’s Jewel-hosted songwriting talent search tanked in a major way (it was Bravo’s lowest-rated show in years, and it was moved to the Friday-night ratings graveyard mid-season). So, that means its chances of ever coming back are slim to none. That's too bad. It was actually a really interesting look at the creative process, and it paved the way for NBC’s slightly more successful but also ultimately canceled Songland (which also needs to come back). I continued to watch Platinum Hit even after it shifted to Fridays, and I am so glad I did, because the show featured quite a few gifted contestants. Jackie Tohn, who’d been a semifinalist on American Idol Season 8, went on to play MelRose on the hit Netflix series GLOW, and Jes Hudak, another former Idol contestant and Platinum Hit’s eventual runner-up, penned the best Platinum Hit song of all: the gorgeous, goosebumpy ballad “Home for Me (Free).” It’s a shame more people didn’t get to hear that one.
11. Mission: Man Band
Back in 2007, VH1 aired this awesome but little-seen “Celebreality” show that chronicled a comeback attempt by four fallen boy band stars: NSync’s Chris Kirkpatrick, Color Me Badd’s Bryan Abrams, 98 Degrees’ Jeff Timmons, and LFO’s Rich Cronin. The idea was they would form a mature new supergroup — a “man band,” if you will — and reclaim their past glory, all under the guidance of straight-talking music manager Katie McNeil (aka the future Mrs. Neil Diamond). But that comeback never happened, and Cronin, who was really the heart of this silly little show, tragically died from leukemia three years after the series aired. However, there are probably plenty of other boy band veterans out there who’d sign on for a Season 2 mission.
10. Miss Rap Supreme
Before there was Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, or Megan Thee Stallion, there was Rece Steele, the total beast on the mic who won this 2008 VH1 talent search for the next big “femcee.” That lady really did spit pure fire, as did Miss Rap Supreme's runner-up, Byata. Whatever happened to them? But this show had even more going for it. 3rd Bass’s MC Serch and Yo Yo were the judges. Celebrity guests included Roxanne Shanté, Charli Baltimore, and even Missy Elliott. Khia, best known for her naughty one-hit wonder “My Neck, My Back,” was even a contestant (though she was disqualified in episode 1 for cheating). I see no reason why VH1 can’t bring this show back… and add Nicki, who was a great, totally underrated judge on American Idol Season 12, to the panel.
9. The White Rapper Show
A year before Miss Rap Supreme, that show’s production company, Ego Trip, launched this equally awesome and much more bizarre search for the next Eminem, or at least the next Vanilla Ice. MC Serch and Yo Yo were also on board for this one, and just to lend this dubious show a little more cred, on one episode the contestants visited the “Mecca of White Rap,” Detroit — where they received sage advice about cultural appropriation from Kid Rock and Insane Clown Posse. (I guess Eminem was unavailable?) The show also starred a guy dressed as a giant furry cockroach and a wannabe named John Brown who kept talking about his plan for a “ghetto revival” even though he hailed from the ‘burbs. It was all kind of genius, if not exactly politically correct.
8. Puttin’ on the Hits
Decades before Lip Sync Battle, there was Puttin’ on the Hits, which featured a dazzling array of bored housewives, suburban tweens, goofball frat boys, and even a pre-O.J.-trial Kato Kaelin miming along to Madonna, Prince, Boy George, and the Pointer Sisters. It was the best thing on Saturday morning television from 1984-88 — or maybe ever. Perhaps it comes as no surprise that the creator of The Gong Show was one of the executive producers, but the almighty Dick Clark was also involved.
7. The Next Great American Band
In 2007, when the then-unstoppable American Idol was in its ratings-dominating prime, Fox execs tried to apply the same formula to rock bands. It didn’t work, which might have had something to do with this show’s unfortunate Friday timeslot, but The Next Great American Band had tons of potential. It had a Simon Cowell-knockoff meanie judge named “Dicko,” Goo Goo Doll Johnny Rzeznik, and voice-of-reason judge Sheila E (who had a tendency to spontaneously jam with the contestants on the drums). Among the contestants were a cute mod band with Strokes/Oasis haircuts called Trés Bien and a troupe of inappropriately shirtless 12-year-old metalheads named Light of Doom who could really shred. The winners, the Clark Brothers, eventually changed their name to Sons of Sylvia and started working with Carrie Underwood. I met them once and they seemed genuinely shocked that I remembered this show. But seriously, I not only remember it — I miss it.
6. The Glee Project
The actual Glee has been off the air for years, and unfortunately, contestants from The Glee Project, an Oxygen network talent show created by Ryan Murphy to scout potential new Glee cast members, recently came forward about terrible working conditions on that show's set. But under different circumstances, I'd still love to see a The Glee Project reboot. I always liked The Glee Project way more than Glee itself, and felt the groundbreaking series elevated the reality-TV singing show genre to an entirely artier level. It even launched some careers that put other, bigger singing shows to shame: Two of its alumni, Alex Newell and Ali Stroker, have gone on to win Tony Awards.
5. Rock Star: Supernova
No, not Rock Star: INXS. Even a singing-show superfan like myself draws the line at replacing an iconic dead frontman like Michael Hutchence via a TV talent search. That’s just in bad taste. But finding a lead singer for a supergroup formed by M?tley Crüe’s Tommy Lee, GNR’s Gilby Clarke, and Metallica’s Jason Newsted? On a show co-hosted by Dave Navarro? Well, that’s so bad, it’s good. Actually, this show had some credibility. It was probably the only time that phenomenal singer-songwriter/producer Butch Walker, who served as a recurring guest judge, ever got any major network prime-time screentime, for starters; that alone made it must-see TV. And I genuinely believe that this show paved the way for future Idol rockers like David Cook and Adam Lambert, since it regularly featured contestants covering the Killers, Jeff Buckley, Radiohead, David Bowie, and Hole. The one album released by the resulting band Rock Star Supernova (fronted by panda-eyed, faux-hawked winner Lukas Rossi) was actually pretty decent, too — even if it sold about 11 copies.
4. Rock of Love
Life As I Know It, VH1’s spinoff show about Poison singer Bret Michaels’s home life with his longtime on/off partner and the mother of his children, was beyond boring. But all three seasons of his The Bachelor-style dating show, Rock of Love, were must-see TV. Let's face it, no one wanted to see Bret attending PTA meetings, but everyone wanted to see him refereeing the Mud Bowl or judging an amateur pole-dancing pageant. In a recent Yahoo Entertainment interview, Bret made it clear that he has no intentions to look for love on a fourth season (or that he ever took the show’s premise very seriously), and he admitted that much of the series’ racier scenes probably wouldn’t even air these days. But surely there’s some other '80s rocker dude willing to stay in that house and find someone to rock his world, and other rocker bachelorettes willing to tattoo said rocker dude’s name on the napes of their necks. Is C.C. DeVille single these days?
3. Bands Reunited
Back in the mid-2000s, VH1 nobly attempted to persuade bands from the 1980s — like ABC, Kajagoogoo, Klymaxx, and Vixen — to reunite on the air. The results were mixed, and some of the bands who refused, like New Kids on the Block and Extreme, reunited years later, off-camera, probably much to some poor VH1’s executive’s chagrin. But really, the episodes when the reunions weren’t successful were actually the most interesting — like when the two guys from the English Beat who’d gone on to form Fine Young Cannibals refused to even open the door for host Aamer Haleen, or when Aamer found himself trapped on Billy Idol’s gated driveway while attempting to convince Billy to reform seminal punk band Generation X. This show really needs to come back, if only to see what would happen if VH1 tried to do a Smiths episode again.
2. Supergroup
Sooo... Sebastian Bach and Ted Nugent were cooped up in a Vegas McMansion for 12 days. What could go wrong? Well, actually, everything went right, because this was one of the best reality shows of all time. Anthrax’s Scott Ian, Biohazard’s Evan Seinfeld, and Zeppelin offspring Jason Bonham also joined in for this great rock 'n’ roll experiment, but all I remember is Bach — who spent most of the series draining the mansion’s wine cellar, and actually managed to make the Nuge look sane — screaming out his proposed band name. Everyone, now: SAVAGE ANIMAL! Amusingly, Ian, Seinfeld, Bonham, and Nugent vetoed that idea and went with an even worse moniker, Damnocracy. But damn it, this show was funny. Maybe in an act of cross-promotional synergy, VH1 could do a Bands Reunited episode to get Damnocracy back together.
1. Bands on the Run
There were so, so many hard rock 'n’ roll lessons to be learned from this 2001 VH1 series, which pitted four rock bands against each other in a contest to see which could earn the most money on the road. The guys in Flickerstick all had reasonably stable personal lives (for musicians, anyway), with loyal and long-suffering wives and girlfriends back home. But their tour bus had barely moved 50 feet before their lives were in utter shambles. The Flickerstick members went wild upon getting their first taste of freedom and fake fame, spending most of the series guzzling whiskey and sleeping till 3 p.m. and fully embracing every rock-star cliché. By the time the series was over, their marriages were also over; the hardest-partying band member, who called himself “El Dangeroso,” even left his wife for a woman in one of the show’s other competing groups, Harlow. Meanwhile, the totally responsible band Soulcracker took the competition seriously: They hit the promotional trail hard, blanketing every tour stop with fliers, visiting local radio stations, and diligently manning their merch booth, while the Flickerstick dudes were off hooking up with random ladies in men’s room stalls. And guess who won Bands on the Run? Yep, Flickerstick. The good guys finished last. Perhaps this was not very role-modelesque, but it was very rock 'n’ roll. (Side note: I would pay good money to see Flickerstick, Damnocracy, and Light of Doom on tour.)
Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:
15 years ago, 'Rock Star: Supernova' rocked reality television
Bret Michaels on whether 'Rock of Love' would fly today: 'It was meant to be fun'
Remembering ‘Puttin’ on the Hits,’ the most bonkers TV talent show of all time
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