52 Hilarious Quotes From "The Mindy Project" That Had Me Snort Laughing
BuzzFeed
6 min read
Dr. Mindy Lahiri and her adorable colleagues on The Mindy Project have given us some really good quotes to live by. Here are the 52 quotes that were relatable, funny, and memorable (and prove why this is one of the best comedies of all time).
1.Mindy: "I figure if I am gonna be a mess I might as well be a hot mess."
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2.Danny: "I wanna talk, but I am really hungry."
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3.Mindy: "When you talk, my brain gets angry."
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4.Mindy: "I want you to love me in a way I can show on Instagram."
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5.Mindy: "My TV is broken, and I cannot be alone with my thoughts."
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6.Mindy: "I am a hot, smart woman with an ass that doesn't quit."
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7.Mindy: "A best friend isn't a person, Danny. It's a tier."
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8.Mindy: "I can't hear you over the sound of your own betrayal."
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9.Danny: "It's really annoying to me because I gotta put on pants and a shirt and shoes."
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10.Mindy: "OK, if we are indulging imaginary situations I would love to introduce you to my husband, straight Anderson Cooper."
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11.Mindy: "I thought I had hit rock bottom, but we managed to find a new sub-basement."
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12.Mindy: "Are you in charge of being a douchebag? Because you're doing a great job!"
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13.Mindy: "Did you know that when I die, in my will I leave all of my money to Tina Fey? I don't even know her! I just think she would spend it in interesting and responsible ways."
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14.Mindy: "I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye."
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15.Mindy: "Tattling is when a little girl does it. When a hot woman does it, it's called whistle-blowing."
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16.Mindy: "Rapping is a hobby. Do you think I would just throw my life away simply because I'm good at naming celebrity couples?"
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17.Mindy: "That's my favorite kind of cake. Gigantic."
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18.Mindy: "I am not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy."
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19.Mindy: "Please let this date be good. May he have the wealth of Mayor Bloomberg. The personality of Jon Stewart. The face of Michael Fassbender. The penis of Michael Fassbender."
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20.Mindy: "I’m sorry, are you saying that I’m not cultured? I’m deeply cultured. I’ve been to London."
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21.Mindy: "If we’re still single in five years and we haven’t found anybody, can we make a pact? That we will kill each other."
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22.Mindy: "Sir? You’re not using enough cheese on that pizza, sir."
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23.Mindy: "I have the right to life, liberty, and chicken wings."
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24.Mindy: "I'll check that out, the minute I finish this tweet I'm reading."
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25.Mindy: "I was crying in the bathroom because I dropped my phone in the toilet again."
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26.Jeremy: "This was meant to be my love letter to America, but it ended up like every love letter I've ever written with the authorities being called."
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27.Danny: "No, Jesus didn't have a roommate. He lived with his ma."
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28.Mindy: "A pregnant, Indian American woman starting her own business. I'm hoping that they do a documentary series about me."
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29.Mindy: "I have been eating for two my entire life, and now I actually have an excuse. I'm not gonna waste it on steel-cut oats."
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30.Jeremy: "Danny is not dying. He's the healthiest person I know. His favorite junk food is raisins."
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31.Mindy: "Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?"
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32.Mindy: "Oh My God. You do NOT slap a slapper."
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33.Peter: "Family doesn't wait to be invited. It's like HPV — it just shows up and never leaves."
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34.Morgan: "Have another hug." Jeremy: "I don't want another hug. I've had four."
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35.Mindy: "Let me weave you a tale. Oh, appetizers are here."
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36.Mindy: "Just make sure the pressure is firm and consistent, like trying to convince your boyfriend to do a couples' costume."
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37.Jeremy: "In Britain, we have an expression: 'Keep calm and don't mention Uncle Susan in the attic.' That might just be my family."
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38.Morgan: "She's the complete package. Heads, shoulders, knees, toes, knees, and toes."
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39.Mindy: "Relax. I've been pulled over a hundred times, and I've never once gotten a ticket." Danny: "How?" Mindy: "The way I get out of everything: lying and crying."
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40.Jeremy: "I can't go back to England. I've forgotten all the words."
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41.Danny: "Italian people don't get over things. They let it fester and ferment and grow stronger over time. That's why our wine is so good."
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42.Danny: "How many hours of energy did you drink?"
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43.Mindy: "Dating is fun, but dating in secret is really fun."
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44.Peter: "What am I supposed to do with my hands if I’m not holding beers?"
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45.Morgan: "Are you kidding me, a winky face? That’s like Emoji porn."
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46.Morgan: "My favorite hobby is also activities!"
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47.Casey: "Great to see you, but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get these kids interested in Christianity? I had to tell them the apostles were the original One Direction, and they barely bought it."
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48.Mindy: "I can do anything as long as it's just paying for something."
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49.Danny: "How does an Englishman not understand English? That is amazing to me."
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50.Danny: "No one's really an architect. That's like a job guys have in the movies."
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51.Mindy: "After four vodka sodas, I realized I had something to say."
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52.Mindy: "I'm at this point in my life where I can't just do what I want to do. I have to do things that really move my life forward like spinning. Do you guys know what that is?"
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