Meryl Streep and Melissa McCarthy beat the s–t out of each other on ‘OMITB,’ and it’s an Emmy-worthy masterpiece

If you haven’t seen Meryl Streep and Melissa McCarthy beat the s–t out of each other on “Only Murders in the Building,” then, to borrow a phrase beloved by Aaron Sorkin, you haven’t seen Shakespeare the way it’s meant to be done.

The Hollywood heavyweights duked it out on the seventh episode of “OMITB” Season 4, “Valley of the Dolls,” and I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.

In the episode, the “Only Murders” podcasters — Charles (Steve Martin), Oliver (Martin Short) and Mabel (Selena Gomez) — decide to hightail it out of the city to hide out on Long Island at the home of Charles’ sister, Doreen (Melissa McCarthy), as they try to evade this season’s unnamed killer.

Not long after arriving at Doreen’s house of dolls (there are dolls everywhere — even a Taylor Swift doll), Oliver’s girlfriend, Loretta (Meryl Streep), shows up, demanding to know why he broke up with her over text (and then turned his phone off).

Oliver and Loretta — widely rumored to be dating in real life — quickly kiss and make up, much to Doreen’s dismay. The Crystal Light-loving Long Islander has developed a crush on Oliver and has even tried to put the moves on him. It is this love triangle that sparks Streep and McCarthy to throw down.

“There’s going to be a catfight, basically over Oliver, between you and Melissa McCarthy,” co-creator and executive producer John Hoffman revealed to Streep over dinner before Season 4 began filming. Streep’s reaction, as told by Hoffman to TV Line: “I watched her raise her hands over her head, and she went, ‘I bet on me.’”

McCarthy was ecstatic when Hoffman pitched her the idea. “I’m going to hang up because I’m going to pass out. I’m so in love with everything you’re telling me,” he recalled her telling him.

When it came time to film the scene, Hoffman and the “Only Murders” team had stunt people on set and a plan for how it would all go down. Streep and McCarthy were underwhelmed.

“So we’re there, and we cleared the room with our stunt person, Chris Barnes, and his team had mapped out a plan for what they were going to do,” Hoffman told Variety. “It was in great detail, and looked good to us.”

“Meryl and Melissa stood and said, ‘Watch this, and let’s see if it’s too much,’” he recalled. “They looked at each other after, and they said, ‘It’s very good. We have some different ideas.’ They didn’t think it went anywhere near far enough!”

“They got to choreographing this themselves, and when I saw what they were doing, I was like, ‘This is not mapped out with the stunt people,’” Hoffman continued. “They’re like, ‘No, no, we don’t need stunt people.’ I’m like, ‘Meryl, you’re being thrown over that couch on your neck! I can’t!’ She says, ‘I’m fine. I’m fine. I love it. It’s a blast. Can I hop on her back like this? And [to Melissa], ‘Grab me harder!’”

“They went at it so viscerally in a way that none of us were prepared for,” the producer explained. “And each time they did it, I couldn’t look.”

“I will say there’s one shot of a stunt person for one quick second because it was just a shot that we needed but otherwise it is all them, all the time. That was a night for the ages on set.”

Streep and McCarthy’s castmates were equally astonished by what they saw unfold.

“I was stunned! I have to say my mouth was agog!” Steve Martin told USA Today.

Selena Gomez added, “They didn’t need the stunt doubles! They were great!”

“They just really went for it, and I thought this is going to be one of the funniest scenes of all time,” Martin continued.

Though he was there on the day the scene was shot, Martin Short was taken aback when he saw the fight “all cut together” in the finished episode.

“I was still startled that it was clearly Meryl and Melissa doing this,” he said. “It’s very aggressive. Very funny.”

For McCarthy, there was never any doubt that she would go all out. “I was not going to miss the opportunity to hurl Streep over the back of a couch,” she told Variety.

The “Spy” actress also spoke highly of her scene partner’s athleticism, saying, “For the record, I wouldn’t want to meet Meryl in a dark alley, she moves like an 18-year-old bobcat.”

Social media lit up after the episode aired, with fans of the show praising the actresses for their comedy (and physical) prowess.

“[I] just need everyone to be aware that i think this scene of only murders in the building deserves like 3 different emmy at LEAST,” one person posted on X (formerly known as Twitter). “[M]eryl streep and melissa mccarthy are fantastic but every single actor in this room is just phenomenal. THIS!!! is such good tv right now.”

Echoing the sentiment, someone else commented, “I’m sorry but if this episode don’t win something for comedy I don’t know what we’re doing.” They added, “this episode was pure genius.”

One viewer, who describes themselves as a “meryl streep supremacist,” summed it up best: “[M]eryl streep beating the s[–]t out of melissa mccarthy, absolute masterpiece.”

The first seven episodes of “Only Murders in the Building” Season 4 are available to stream now on Hulu. Seasons 1-3 are available on both Hulu and Disney+.