Melissa Gilbert Says Meeting Husband Timothy Busfield Was Like 'Getting Hit' with a 'Thunderbolt' (Exclusive)

The actress shares with PEOPLE the instant attraction she felt with Busfield and the key to their marriage after more than a decade

When Melissa Gilbert encountered Timothy Busfield on the way to a Los Angeles bar in 2012, the attraction was intense and immediate. It wasn't the first time the two had met, but this time, they were floored by each other.

“It sounds cliché to say it, but it really was like getting hit with a thunderbolt,” she tells PEOPLE, adding, “It just seemed right and inevitable. … The next morning when I woke up, my first thought was, ‘I'm going to marry him,’ and I then my next thought was, ‘You're a crazy person.'”

“Then I thought, ‘Well, why don't we start with brunch?’ and I grabbed my phone, and I went to text him to ask if he wanted to meet. He texted me [at the same time] and asked if I wanted to meet for brunch,” she continues. “That's when I thought, ‘Maybe I'm not so crazy. Maybe this is right.’  We met for brunch, and I knew ... It just made sense.”

Related: Melissa Gilbert and Timothy Busfield's Relationship Timeline

Gilbert and Busfield got engaged in December 2012 and tied the knot on April 24, 2013 in a private ceremony at San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara, California. Gilbert, 60, wore a strapless red wedding gown by Morgane le Fay.

The pair moved to New York City in 2018, then purchased a home in upstate New York a year later, which the couple affectionally calls “The Cabbage.” Along the way, Gilbert launched Modern Prairie, a lifestyle brand for “seasoned women,” which she co-owns and runs Modern Prairie alongside cofounder Nicole Haase, a former Williams Sonoma executive who now serves as the company’s CEO.

Prior to getting married, Gilbert and Busfield were twice divorced and had children from previous marriages. Gilbert — who was married to Bo Brinkman from 1988-1994 and Bruce Boxleitner from 1995-2011 — has two adult sons, Dakota and Michael. Busfield, meanwhile, had three children, Samuel, Daisy and Wilson.

Gilbert’s marriage to Busfield, 67, has proven to be the “easiest relationship" she's ever had. “It's all of the good things that a relationship should be,” she shares. “There is rarely drama, and if there is drama, it's not caused by us. It comes from outside, and we handle it in a much different way.”

Related: Melissa Gilbert & Timothy Busfield's Cutest Photos with Their Grandchildren

With time often comes knowledge and wisdom, and Gilbert believes her past relationships helped pave the way for the “adult, perfect partnership” she’s now fortunate to be in.

“By the time you get to be the age we were when we met, you know what you don't want. Even more than you know what you do, you know what you will not put up with ever again and that changes everything,” says Gilbert, adding, “I was never again going to be with someone with whom I did not agree politically. I wasn't going to bend myself to be quiet because their opinion needed to be louder and different.”

One aspect of Busfield that Gilbert appreciates: his ability to make her laugh every day by finding humor in the smallest things.

“He walks into walls, he trips, he's a clown,” she says. “The other thing about him that just melts me is that he's possibly one of the most talented people I have ever met in my life. I love to watch him work, whether it's as an actor or a director or a writer or a producer, whatever he's doing. Even when he was teaching college, it is so inspiring and the level of the depth of his talent — it's breathtaking.”

Related: Little House on the Prairie’s Alison Arngrim and Melissa Gilbert Were Close Despite Playing ‘Mortal Enemies’ (Exclusive)

It also doesn’t hurt that Busfield is a “huge fan” of Gilbert’s work. The Emmy-winning actor — who has appeared in Thirtysomething, Field of Dreams and currently serves as executive producer and director of The Cleaning Lady — enjoys watching Little House on the Prairie when it's on. “If we're flipping channels and it happens to be on, he will land on the channel and watch, so I consequently will watch with him,” the actress adds.

But a mutual sense of deep “respect” for each other remains the ultimate key to their thriving, laughter-filled partnership.

“We have respect for one another's opinions, respect for one another's pasts, respect for one another's abilities and this tacit agreement that we never really discussed that just happened, that we are partners in everything, in every decision, in every idea, in every move,” she says. “We are one in making those decisions, and neither one of us is better at anything than the other or greater than anything than the other.”

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All nine seasons of Little House on the Prairie can be streamed on Prime Video and Peacock.

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