Kurt Cobain’s Daughter Frances Says Grieving ‘Serves a Purpose’ on 30th Anniversary of His Death
Kurt Cobain's daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, honored her late father on the 30th anniversary of his death.
“30 years ago my dad’s life ended,” Frances, 31, wrote via Instagram on Friday, April 5, alongside a carousel of photos, including two of the Nirvana frontman holding her as a baby. “The 2nd & 3rd photo capture the last time we were together while he was still alive.”
Frances’ post also included a series of throwback photos of Kurt, who died by suicide at the age of 27 in 1994.
“His mom Wendy would often press my hands to her cheeks & say, with a lulling sadness, ‘you have his hands,’” Frances continued. “She would breathe them in as if it were her only chance to hold him just a little bit closer, frozen in time. I hope she’s holding his hands wherever they are.”
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Frances explained that her “ideas around loss have been in a continuous state of metamorphosing” over the last three decades, adding, “The biggest lesson learned through grieving for almost as long as I’ve been conscious, is that it serves a purpose. The duality of life & death, pain & joy, yin & yang, need to exist along side each other or none of this would have any meaning. It is the impermanent nature of human existence which throws us into the depths of our most authentic lives. As It turns out, there is no greater motivation for leaning into loving awareness than knowing everything ends.”
Frances reflected on the many little details she never got to learn about her dad before his death. “I wish I knew the cadence of his voice, how he liked his coffee or the way it felt to be tucked in after a bedtime story. I always wondered if he would’ve caught tadpoles with me during the muggy Washington summers, or if he smelled of Camel Lights & strawberry nesquik (his favorites, I’ve been told),” she wrote. “But there is also deep wisdom being on an expedited path to understanding how precious life is.”
The model, who married Tony Hawk’s son Riley in October 2023, noted that her late father “gifted me a lesson in death that can only come through the LIVED experience of losing someone,” adding, “It’s the gift of knowing for certain, when we love ourselves & those around us with compassion, with openness, with grace, the more meaningful our time here inherently becomes.”
She went on to describe a letter Kurt wrote her before she was born. “The last line of it reads, ‘wherever you go or wherever I go, I will always be with you.’ He kept this promise because he is present in so many ways,” she continued. “Whether it’s by hearing a song or through the hands we share, in those moments I get to spend a little time with my dad & he feels transcendent. ?.”
Frances concluded the post by writing, “To anyone who has wondered what it would’ve looked like to live along side the people they have lost, I’m holding you in my thoughts today. The meaning of our grief is the same ?????.”
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Along with her lengthy tribute, Frances shared a home video via her Instagram Story, showing her as a baby being cradled by her dad.
"Are you getting all of this?" Kurt asked his then-wife and Frances’ mother, Courtney Love, who was recording the footage. "Aren't we lucky?"
Frances previously spoke out about suicide on the 25th anniversary of her father’s death, sending a supportive message to those who may need it.
“If you are struggling with your mental health and need someone to talk to please do not be afraid to reach out to your friends, neighbors, parents, counselors, teachers or even strangers on the internet,” she wrote via Instagram in 2019. “Needing help is not weakness. Lets end the stigma and shame towards the struggle with mental health.”
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).