"Go Take A Honda Civic Selfie": 18 Of James Kennedy's Most Memorable Moments From "Vanderpump Rules"
Today we are here, yet again, to discuss the cultural phenomenon and reality TV show Vanderpump Rules. And this time we will be specifically discussing one cast member on the show who is, by all accounts, a perfect reality TV villain.
I am, of course, talking about one DJ James Kennedy.
James Kennedy officially joined the show as a cast member in Season 3 and has been a main fixture on the show since. Now, while James Kennedy has VERY CLEARLY had his fair share of problematic moments and is honestly not a nice person 90% of the time, he is also, unfortunately, kind of a perfect reality TV villain who is responsible for some of VPR's best moments over the years. I am certainly not here to defend his horrendous behavior over the years. But he does make me laugh. SORRY!
And I also still routinely think about this Jurassic Park-themed Instagram story from him that I took a screenshot of on December 31, 2017.
i literally think about this instagram story from James Kennedy circa 2017 at least once a week pic.twitter.com/597djXbhsu
— Lara Parker (@laraeparker) May 1, 2023
So let's take a look back at just some of DJ James Kennedy's funniest moments on the show thus far and remember how funny this British DJ is at times.
1.In Season 3, when James Kennedy told Tom Sandoval to, "Go take a Honda Civic selfie."
When this moment happened: Season 3, Episode 1: "Instafight"
In this episode, which kicked off Season 3 of the show, Tom Sandoval approaches Kristen and James Kennedy during Scheana's birthday party in Mixology located at The Grove in Los Angeles (the cast's absolutely FAVEEEE place to go in the early seasons) to tell her to "stop being obsessed with him." Kristen is uninterested in speaking to Sandoval for obvious reasons and James Kennedy is sort of just, like, yo, what do you want? Tom Sandoval then looks at James Kennedy and says, "James, go take a fucking Beemer selfie or something." To which James Kennedy responds, without missing a beat, "Oh a Beemer selfie? Okay. How about you go take a Honda Civic selfie, man?" It's truly so fucking funny and a perfect delivery. A reality star is born!
2.In Season 4, when Scheana throws a costume party for her birthday, James Kennedy shows up in this wig. I'm sorry, but this alone was funny to me.
When this moment happened: Season 4, Episode 1: "Playtime's Over"
By all accounts, James Kennedy should have listened to then-girlfriend Kristen Doute and slowed down on the alcohol. But as a viewer? LOW-KEY glad he didn't for this moment and every moment that followed in this episode (all while he wore this wig!)
Naturally, after Kristen Doute suggests he maybe "drink some water" he instead proceeds to get *very* drunk by chugging this bottle of Fireball while still donning the brown wig.
Before exclaiming, "That was so crazy, guys!"
3.Also in Season 4, James Kennedy ends up cheating on Kristen Doute with Scheana's friend, Jenna. It's a really mean thing to do, but it did give us one of his most memorable confessional lines: "The truth is, Jenna and I were definitely boning."
When this moment happened: Season 4, Episode 2: "New Blood"
After James gets *incredibly* drunk while wearing a brown wig and chugging Fireball, he ends up going home with Scheana's friend Jenna and cheats on his then-girlfriend Kristen Doute. He thought he was in the clear, but he seriously underestimated Detective Doute who found out by going through his deleted emails on his computer (which he left open) and finding an Uber receipt from early in the morning that was from Jenna's place back to his. When Kristen confronts him with this information, James denies it and says they did not have sex. But then we are shown a talking head confessional of James where he immediately admits, "We were definitely boning." Unreal!
4.Yet another iconic Season 4 moment is James giving us this perfect talking head quote: "I've honestly been awake for 38 seconds, and this is already the worst day of my life."
When this moment happened: Season 4, Episode 4: "Happily Never After"
After going out with the boys and getting too drunk once again the night before, James is awoken the next morning by then-girlfriend Kristen Doute loudly making breakfast. When he finally wakes up from her banging pots and pans around, she immediately wants to discuss why he felt the need to get drunk again. Their conversation escalates. James says he doesn't want to talk about this and is hungover. Then he left us with this line which is deeply quotable and iconic. Brava.
5.Basically any time he referred to Jax Taylor as "old man."
When this moment happened: Season 4, Episode 20: "Push Comes to Shove"
TBH, James refers to Jax as "old man" more times than I could even count, and yet each time is somehow more iconic and funny than the last. This particular moment came at the end of another explosive episode that also involved a scuffle between one Lala Kent and one Kristen Doute. When James Kennedy utters any line Jax's way that includes the words "old man" we know Jax's neck muscles will be protruding within seconds, and for that, we are grateful.
6.One of his most well-known moments from Season 5 when he yells at Jax, "You need to get more cosmopolitans!"
When this moment happened: Season 5, Episode 4 "Thirsty Girls"
DJ James Kennedy is DJing at SUR when Lala approaches his "DJ Booth" to let him know about the rumor that James and GG hooked up while James was dating Raquel. This obviously happened. But that's beside the point. Jax, who is at the bar "making drinks," interrupts James and Lala and tells them to keep their voices down before slinging an insult at Lala and telling her to "go sling some more dick for Range Rovers." James obviously gets involved, because he is a reality TV villain of the highest magnitude, and asks Jax, "What are you doing? You don't care! Why should a man of your age care?"
It escalates from there and ends beautifully with James telling Jax, "They need to take an order. You need to get more cosmopolitans. Pumptinis!" Art.
BTW, this all happened while James Kennedy donned a plaid infinity scarf around his neck. I genuinely don't think it could get better than this. PUMPTINI!!!!!!!
7.The entire Dog Day episode arc for James Kennedy in Season 5 was one that history books should remember. Technically, the editors are the MVPs here, but there is nothing quite like hearing James Kennedy pause his "Pump Sessions" soundtrack to alert the crowd around him that he found a set of keys with a "Mickey Mouse key on it."
When this moment happened: Season 5, Episode 2 "What Went Down"
Art! Poetry! Life-changing! All of the above is how I would describe watching James Kennedy make announcements about keys and cleaning up dog poop at World Dog Day.
8.This leads us to the height of James' DJ career thus far: his announcement to "Pick up your dog's poop."
When this moment happened: Season 5, Episode 2: "What Went Down"
Again, we must thank the editors employed by Vanderpump Rules and we also must thank James for this iconic quote that I remember any time I am feeling down: "Ladies and gentleman, just a reminder, make sure you pick up your poop. Pick up your dog's poop. Thank you."
9.His reunion performances are pretty much all memorable, but none quite as memorable as when he mimicked Stassi "crawling back from New York."
When this moment happened: Season 5, Episode 22: "Reunion Part 1"
The cast is discussing James Kennedy getting with Kristen Doute to be on the show when James Kennedy interjects and reminds us all that Stassi "came crawling back from New York" to be back on the show while he actively crawled around on the reunion set's carpet. It was so funny the entire cast (including Jax, Kristen, and Stassi, who all hate James at this point) paused to laugh and it's a moment I routinely think about to this day.
10.James' reaction when Faith drops the massive bomb that she and Jax hooked up (in front of the 95-year-old woman receiving live-in-care from Faith...) at the start of Season 6 is, in one word, beautiful.
When this moment happened: Season 6, Episode 1: "Masquerade"
As mentioned, former SUR-ver Faith (and person who hooked up with Jax Taylor off-camera while he was in a relationship) drops the bomb to James Kennedy in the Season 6 opener and his reactions, to me, are poetry. As Faith describes how this hook-up came about, James interjects with, "Did she wake up? Did she wake up???" as he laughs and Faith discusses Jax sucking her toes. Like, I'm sorry, but name a better reality show moment. I am not sure you can!
11.Also in Season 6: James and Lala's conversation about pasta heard 'round the world.
When this moment happened: Season 6, Episode 7: "It's Not About The Pasta"
Logan, Lala, and James are at a meal together when Lala, for some reason, randomly brings up the fact that she and her friends "ate all of Raquel's pasta." James goes OFF. He pulls a classic James Kennedy and lashes out at Lala, disparages her man, is openly anti-fat, and says, "Don't fuck with my bitch." Lala eventually has had enough and walks away. And honestly, who can blame her? James follows her outside to apologize and it's honestly hard to follow their conversation from here. So much so, that fan theories around what pasta is a code word for were rampant for years. Lala says, "I told you I ate Raquel's pasta and that's why you come for me? What the fuck is wrong with you?" They go back and forth before James — yelling — exclaims, "It ain't about the pasta. It's not about the pasta." Art.
12.And in Season 6 when James tries to get the girls to stop Brittany from talking about "beating people's asses" after she heard the Jax and Faith recording and then played it over loudspeakers for the entire housewarming party to hear is...mmmm, chef's kiss.
When this moment happened: Season 6, Episode 6: "See You Next Tuesday"
Brittany is visibly drunk and extremely upset for obvious reasons. James tries to get involved and encourage the women to stop Brittany from going on her tirade against Jax and Faith saying that "Brittany is a sweetheart." She responds with her (possibly only?) iconic line: "I am a fucking sweetheart you dumb-ass motherfucker!"
After Brittany delivered her only iconic line to date, James literally scurries away down the hall taking his bottle of alcohol with him. So funny.
When this moment happened: Season 6, Episode 6: "See You Next Tuesday"
13.Also from Season 6, James Kennedy reenacts Brittany's reaction to the Jax and Faith recording and gives us yet another incredible moment.
When this moment happened: Season 6, Episode 6: "See You Next Tuesday"
DJ James Kennedy and Lisa Vanderpump meet to discuss his upcoming DJ residency at SUR entitled "See You Next Tuesday" and he also updates her on the housewarming party drama and gives an incredible impression of Brittany saying "WWWHHHHYYYY?!?"
14.Season 6 was really, like, James' SEASON! Exhibit 2,482: his reaction to Tom Sandoval's trumpet playing.
When this moment happened: Season 6 Episode 6: "See You Next Tuesday"
After hearing Tom Sandoval's trumpet melody (if you can call it that) James Kennedy served a face that we were ALL serving in that moment.
15.At the start of Season 7, we find out about James' (low-key iconic??) rap about Jax and Faith.
When this moment happened: Season 7, Episode 1: "A Decent Proposal"
He performed said rap in front of Brittany Cartwright, BTW, who gets engaged to Jax later in this episode. LOL. Brittany referred to it as "embarrassing" and Tom Sandoval and Ariana ask him to "go chill on the freestyling" in the future. His rap goes as follows; "I just got rich, I may cop a black wraith, does everyone remember when Jax fucked Faith?" When asked about his rap moment in a talking head interview, James proclaims, "I don't feel bad that I said it, I feel bad that Brittany was standing right next to me when I did."
16.In Season 10 after James finds out that Raquel's dog Graham had to go to the ER he is very upset and then has this amazing talking head interview moment.
When this happened: Season 10, Episode 3: "Troll Mates"
He won't say the "D" word or the "S" word which we later find out, after a producer asks him, refer to the words "Dumb and stupid." GOD, IT'S SO GOOD.
17. And then later in Season 10 when James thinks he gets 151 alcohol in his eye and runs away in a panic.
not only his scream but the small trip he does on the way to the bathroom while blinded pic.twitter.com/grt4fy7spL
— dan morrison (@dantommorrison) April 30, 2023
Peacock / Via Twitter: @dantommorrison
When this moment happened: Season 10, Episode 12: "Beach, Don't Kill My Vibe"
James gasps, "AH! AH!" and runs out of the room (tripping on a table on his way out) to "wash 151 out of his eye." Later we find out from the waitress that the middle part — aka the part that got in his eye — is just for decoration and does not actually have any alcohol. Incredible performance nonetheless.
18.And finally, even though it's not technically part of the Vanderpump Rules discography, his recent performance on the April 26 episode of Watch What Happens Live was one for the books. If you haven't already watched it, I suggest you do.
When this moment happened: Season 20, Episode 76 of Watch What Happens Live
Host Andy Cohen asks James how he found out about the Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss affair and he responds, "I was like 'huh, there's no way, I am being pranked, it's April 1st!' But it wasn't, I checked the date!"
You can watch all of these moments and more on Peacock now!
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