The ‘Hocus Pocus’ Character You Are, According to Your Zodiac Sign
“Come, we fly!” Gather your best witches, because a virgin just lit the black flame candle (again). After all, spooky season has officially arrived, and if you’re wondering which Hocus Pocus character resembles your zodiac sign, then you’ll have to play along. Besides, the only thing better than indulging in all the classic and most binge-worthy Halloween films, is knowing which characters capture your zodiac sign the most.
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Everyone who grew up in the 90’s remembers when a grumpy Winifred Sanderson opened a window and said “Oh, look. Another glorious morning. Makes me sick!” And I think we can all agree the Sanderson sisters are nothing short of legendary, but they’re not the only ones in the movie worth noting. In fact, I have a confession to make—I had a huge crush on Thackery Binx, and lowkey begged my mom to let me host a Halloween party that was even better than Allison’s. Speaking of witch! Allison had the coolest family in the world, because they literally ran Sanderson sister’s museum (which is goals AF). She was giving main-character energy from the moment she clapped back at Max Dennison for saying Halloween was, in fact, just a conspiracy invented by the candy companies.
The Hocus Pocus character that captures each zodiac sign
On that note, if you’re anything like me, I bet you’re already making plans to stream the long-awaited sequel—Hocus Pocus 2! Available on Disney+, it’s time to gather with your coven and light a black candle to celebrate! Sistas Sarah, Mary and Winifred are headed back to Salem:
Aries: You’re ‘Ice’ Ernie
If you’re not rounding up the troops for back up when going to battle, then chances are you’re the first one pulling all sorts of childish shenanigans. Not saying you’re a shoe stealer, but on a rotten day, you’re the only one with the blatant audacity to snatch a pair of sneakers right in front of someone’s face. Also, thanks to your planetary ruler, Mars, your obsession with athleisure gets you into all sorts of trouble.
Taurus: You’re Sarah Sanderson
“Come little children, I’ll take thee away, into a land of enchantment.” Just like your irresistible planetary ruler, Venus, your siren-like singing voice has the power to seduce, and lure in your prey. And all for what, Taurus? So you can suck their souls, and make yourself look younger. Indulgence is the name of your game, be it a tasty spider, your sister’s lover or a virgin from Salem!
Gemini: You’re Jay (‘Ice’s’ Friend)
You’ve got the gift of gab, and your mischief is next-level. You’re also notorious for nicknaming strangers on the spot… so yeah, you would call the new kid from California “Hollywood,” and everyone around you would follow along. This, of course, comes with the turf when you’re ruled by clever Mercury, but your sinister-like quips and dark humor can easily come across as bullying. Naughty, naughty, Gemini!
Cancer: You’re Mary Sanderson
You’re a ride-or-die for your family and friends, and your intuition is so loud, it makes you bark like a dog from time to time. Just kidding, but can we talk about your vacuum cleaner broom? It doesn’t get more domestic than that. Similar to your planetary ruler (the moon) your heightened senses can smell children from miles away. Also, living alongside sisters like Sarah and Winifred for all eternity is more than enough to prove your undying loyalty. “I suggest we form a calming circle.”
Leo: You’re Miss Olin
Has anyone ever told you you’re a fantastic storyteller? Don’t be modest, Leo! The only thing you love more than being a big kid at heart, is playing the role of the teacher and spreading joy. You’re also not afraid to call out a skeptic when you see one, especially if they’re not cooperating… or better said, not laughing at your jokes. So grab your spooky props, and give us the 411 on the Sanderson sisters.
Virgo: You’re Thackery Binx
In all seriousness, if the Sanderson sisters were to cast a spell that turned you into an immortal cat, you would be the most productive and resourceful superkitty in Salem. In addition to being an old soul, you’re also quite modest, which is why helping children steer clear of the Sanderson sisters still wouldn’t suffice. You’re half-human and half-spirit, Virgo. Don’t you forget it.
Libra: You’re Billy Butcherson
Let’s face it, love makes people do unimaginable things… and well, it’s not your fault you fell for your lover’s smoking hot sibling, Libra. When you mate, it’s for life. You are, after all, ruled by harmony-seeking Venus. Relationships are your favorite pastime, but what’s fair is fair. And since you pride yourself on your justice-seeking ways, rising from your grave to capture children every time you’re summoned will have to do.
Scorpio: You’re Dani Dennison
You’re a smart little witch, and the Sanderson sisters got nothin’ on you, Scorpio. In addition to your brilliant bartering skills, (i.e. talking your brother into dressing up as Peter Pan in tights next Halloween, or no deal) you’ve also mastered the art of hide, spy and seek. How else would you know about Allison’s “yabos”? You have no problem using your words when threatened, so calling Winifred “the ugliest thing that ever lived,” would be putting it lightly.
Sagittarius: You’re Allison
Louder for the people in the back! On top of the fact that you’re filled with supernatural wisdom, it’s your free spirit and spontaneous personality that makes you so magnetic. You snag the spotlight without even trying, and you bewitch your classmates with your spooky truth bombs. “I’m Allison! Kiss me, I’m Allison!” Real talk, if your crush accidentally resurrected the Sanderson sisters, you’d be the most capable of interpreting and casting a reversal spell.
Capricorn: You’re Winifred Sanderson
If there were ever such a thing as being the “eldest” zodiac sign, it would definitely be you, Capricorn. Traditional, intelligent and a tad bit on the sadistic side, you’d sew your unfaithful lover’s lips in a jealous rage, and yet stop at nothing to obey the rules, even if that means tolerating your incompetent siblings until the end of time. A gift from Satan himself, your precious book is your one true love, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Aquarius: You’re Max Dennison
There’s a difference between rebellion and skepticism, but you walk the line, Aquarius. Be it your tie-dye west coast energy or your opinionated conspiracy theories, your uniqueness is partly why you stand out in the crowd… or while in Salem, stick out like a sore thumb. Similar to your disruptive planetary ruler, Uranus, you start a revolution all on your own, so *clearly* nothing should’ve, could’ve, would’ve ever gotten in the way of you lighting that black flame candle.
Pisces: You’re Emily Binx
To say you believe in magic would be an understatement, Pisces. And though your dreamy planetary ruler, Neptune, is more than enough to validate your otherworldly compassion and innate gullibility, wearing your rose-colored glasses can be to your detriment if you’re not discerning. Perhaps this explains why you’d easily succumb to the enchanting melody of Sarah Sanderson, ultimately leading you to drinking the soul-stealing poison. The silver lining? You dance circles around the afterlife, and you always find your way back to your loved ones.
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