‘Heart Eyes’ Review: ‘My Bloody Valentine’ Meets ‘Set It Up’ in Josh Ruben’s Brilliant Horror Rom-Com
Throughout Josh Ruben’s brilliant new Valentine’s Day slasher “Heart Eyes,” potential suspects and would-be victims reference real romantic comedies. “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” “Crazy Stupid Love.” “Pretty Woman.” Whatever your preferred chick flick — combined with the predator-prey mania of “My Bloody Valentine” (and just a touch of the goofiness in “Scream 6”) — that should be enough to compel you toward this giddy and graphic whodunit. It’s a freaky celebration that confirms holiday horror, if it ever left, is so back, and a standout achievement in the deceptively dense category of recent romances across genre comedy.
Silly, slick, and self-aware, the latest farce from the “Werewolves Within” director is laugh-out-loud funny and boasts pops of gore that earn the comparison to Eli Roth’s “Thanksgiving.” Although the killer pilgrim movie from 2023 is more stomach-churning than Ruben’s film, this nutty blend of hyper-violence and one-liners is a dark comedic delicacy. Characters choke down blood like chocolate and the zippy script (written by Phillip Murphy and Christopher Landon & Michael Kennedy) pairs well with two charismatic leads. And in a universe where chemistry is a lethal liability, stars Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding will put you on the edge of your seat — or maybe your date’s lap — faster than you can say “meat cute.”
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A marketing professional for a jewelry company, Ally McCabe (Holt) sees her career collide with true crime headlines when the “Heart Eyes Killer” (“HEK” for short) arrives in Seattle. A vicious villain known for attacking couples on February 14, the masked murderer dispatched more than a dozen people between Boston and Philadelphia. Unfortunately, news of those tragic events failed to reach our heroine before her ridiculous boss (Michaela Watkins) approved a star-crossed lovers theme for their brand’s national ad campaign. The homicide-laden promotional push, influenced as much by Ally’s lackluster dating life as anything else, puts her on the receiving end of an involuntary rescue from the hunky freelancer/”consumer cupid” Jay Simmonds (Gooding) just hours away from the Big V.
Generally, you should avoid getting attached to the most likable characters in a horror movie. They don’t often die first, but they tend to die eventually. And who needs that heartbreak? Resistance is futile when it comes to the unlucky lovebirds in “Heart Eyes” though, as the budding relationship between the reluctant Ally and the suave Jay confidently holds focus against the weight of a literal massacre. Their adorable office-born romance mutates from a will-they-won’t-they into a deadly could-they-should-they. Caught somewhere between an upper-crust Netflix rom-com and a contemporary “Scary Movie,” the not-couple is forced to flee danger and manage their obvious attraction to one another simultaneously. Will a clandestine kiss on the sidewalk put the so-called “colleagues” in HEK’s crosshairs? The smooch was just a tactic to make Ally’s ex jealous, obviously, but such a sudden and spectacular display of passion does put them on a collision course with local authorities.
Detectives Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Shaw (Jordana Brewster) — strong contenders for this year’s best joke character names — pick through clues with all the urgency of a school kid deciphering a crush via flower petals. The uselessness of law enforcement can be overplayed in some lesser horror films to the point of losing tension. But when Shaw swipes through a dating app in the middle of a blood-soaked crime scene, “Heart Eyes” establishes its unique and playful tone. Whether it’s Ally’s best friend Monica (Gigi Zumbado) chatting about her arthritis-addled sugar daddy, or Ally and Jay finding a moment to almost kiss after almost getting killed, the clash between light and dark grows steadily more hilarious. Swinging wildly between beats that will make you laugh and then scream, the chaos in “Heart Eyes” steadily builds without the humor growing stale or undercutting too much terror.
Editor Brett W. Bachman (“Mandy,” “Pig”) keeps the pace at just right the speed in dialogue-heavy scenes that might veer too close to a psychotic “Gilmore Girls” otherwise. Several impressive monologues, including a cynical diatribe from Ally in a restaurant that grounds much of the first act, demonstrate Ruben’s knack for keeping his actors in the same movie. The buttoned-up leading lady is complex enough to earnestly sell the emotional arc of a woman who is criminally unlucky in love, while Jay is a hopeless idealist who is immediately interested in her but has enough self-respect to stay sexy. Punny jokes from minor characters (think “I’ll end you – on YELP!”) evoke the strange cheeriness of a twisted greeting card, but the centerpiece relationship is refreshingly personable and authentic.
The perfect length for a first date, “Heart Eyes” boasts a dazzling plot that goes places quickly. It’s a highly re-watchable trick you’ll want to see pulled off twice, but Ruben might do well to rethink this world’s visual style if it turns into a multi-film commitment. The HEK mask design, evocative of a demented emoji, is haunting and the neon flourish around the literal heart eyes makes for a menacing “Silence of the Lambs” basement effect. And yet, for whatever reason, the director chooses to embrace a sort of gray wintery-ness across the rest of the film that’s evocative of “My Bloody Valentine” but makes for a sometimes muddied look. (With so much pink and red at your disposal, I’m just not sure why you would let a story this colorful look so… bland?)
More rose than thorn and more situation than -ship, “Heart Eyes” will still be love at first sight for audiences drawn to favorites like “Warm Bodies,” “Lisa Frankenstein,” “Heathers,” and more. Riffing on the often sexist tropes of the romance genre while exploring the controversial nature of the slasher genre is a difficult task. And yet, Ruben turns the grizzly ordeal into a film so screamingly likable you’ll not only be rooting for his main characters to survive, but you’ll welcome the director’s smile-inducing cameo with open arms. If movies like “Halloween” (2018) have taught us anything, it’s that Happily Ever After isn’t always possible for characters in a horror movie. With “Heart Eyes,” that’s a particularly bittersweet reality — but a great excuse for a sequel audiences will almost certainly want. Ally and Jay may prove too good of characters to make it to morning, but Ruben’s latest film officially hard launches the director as horror comedy’s quirky new boyfriend.
Grade: B+
From Screen Gems and Spyglass Media Group, “Heart Eyes” is in theaters nationwide on February 7.
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