Hannah Brown Speaks Candidly About Whether 'The Bachelorette' Was a Mistake
Hannah Brown
Hannah Brown knows a thing or two about almosts—but, in the story of her life, those nearlys are not mistakes. The TV personality, who appeared on The Bachelor before becoming The Bachelorette in Season 15 of the franchise, believes she needed her romances with Colton Underwood, Tyler Cameron and Jed Wyatt to ultimately lead her to her fiancé, Adam Woolard.
While "those relationships could be looked at as mistakes," Brown doesn't see them as such "because I learned so much about myself," she told Parade in an exclusive interview.
"I grew. I have been able to redefine love through relationships that weren't right," Brown said. "It's important to take the risk of falling in love, and is it ever really a mistake to do that?"
The idea that there are no mistakes when it comes to love is something Emma Townsend, the heroine of Brown's new romance novel, Mistakes We Never Made, learns, too. Emma managed to avoid making the "mistake" of falling for Finn Hughes for more than a decade, until one weekend when the frenemies crossed more than just state lines.
With her new book, Brown hopes "people reframe the way that they connect with the word mistake, with the feelings and thoughts of mistakes in their past, and find some type of healing or a different perspective, as Emma and Finn do as well."
Continue reading for Parade's exclusive interview with Hannah Brown about her fun new summer read. Plus, how reality TV changed her and how her wedding planning is going today.
What was the inspiration behind Mistakes We Never Made?
The inspiration really comes from things and feelings that I've experienced in my own life. Emma is a very Type A. She feels like she needs to have everything together, and sometimes that makes her a little averse to the risk that, really, love is. And I can relate to that, and I wanted to make sure that this story had strong character development for people to go on this journey with Emma and understand why she feels like she has to be in control.
How much of your own personal life and past romantic relationships influenced the book?
Emma is her own person, but she's definitely a part of me. I know that, especially at different times in my past, I could definitely be that type of person that felt like they had be the fixer. [I] was always the one that had to come in and save the day in some way and then could sometimes lose sight of what I actually wanted, and so that is definitely a big part of me. And then as far as the love story between Emma and Finn, I've definitely had people in my life and relationships where it's kind of felt like we almost had it, but it just didn't work out. But Finn is an accumulation of a bunch of different guys in my life. He's not just one person.
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You got engaged last year. Did it feel like you and Adam had a bunch of almosts before you started dating, or did it feel like a definite thing from the start?
We started dating in COVID... I think any COVID relationship was like, "I guess we're in it together. We're spending a lot of quality time by ourselves." There wasn't a lot of playing games, especially on his part. For me, I think there [were] some almosts because I had a really hard time committing at first. He was just like, "Yeah, I had to convince you to fall in love with me" [laughs]. I had a lot that I had to work through, and that's why even in the book with Emma, I think there's always a reason for why people are the way that they are and how they show up in relationships. How can we tell that story, too? Because I think the more that we got to know each other he could understand maybe why I had a harder time really allowing such a good guy to love me. I guess there [were] some almosts that I could have made happen, but he stuck around, and I think we communicated really well to where we didn't have some of the issues maybe Emma and Finn had in their past.
Why do you feel like you had that fear of commitment?
It's been something that I've struggled with in my past. Like, even though like I was on a TV show to get married...I was 24 at the time and I thought I was so ready, but I think sometimes it's really easy to let the fear of the hurt that you've experienced in the past to [keep you from] allow[ing] yourself to fully dive in with a new person. That's, I think, relatable to a lot of people who've ever been hurt. We're still trying to understand that one in therapy, but that's where we're at so far in the sessions.
I love that you decided to make one of these characters, Nikki, a reality star. Was that your choice or your fellow writer's?
I didn't want [the book] to be about me, but I wanted there to be parts of me in everything. So there's a core four, a group of best friends, and each of them is a part of me. And so, of course, a part of me and my story that most people know me for is that time on a dating show. And so one of the friends has also been on a very popular dating show and was the lead and got her heart broken.
So you saw a little bit of yourself in each of them. I was curious which one you felt like you related to more.
It depends on when you ask me. We're working on book two right now, so I really feel close to the character that we really follow in book two, who I think people that read this first book will want to know more about. I'm trying not to give too much away.
It's okay! So is the second book going to be a continuation? We're going to see these same characters in the second book?
Yes. It's a totally different story, but these characters do show up. Of course, I want people to follow the story of Emma and Finn, but I want them to also be invested in the other best friends in the story and to want more in book two... I think one of the best love stories in our life can be our friendships. And so I think the friendship is really what roots these girls. Then we go on their individual loves stories and how they are there for each other and it's all intertwined.
Emma says in the book that some mistakes leave you irrevocably changed. What's one that you feel changed you?
I mean, the easiest one could be me going on reality TV to find love. I didn't. That didn't happen for me and that could be looked at [as] a mistake in some way. But it has allowed me to grow in ways I probably wouldn't have grown. I wouldn't have known I needed to grow. It allowed me to see the world so differently. Allowed me to see love so differently. Allowed me to see myself in a different way and to be able to really go on a healing journey that might not have happened, and therefore this version of me would not have been able to show up in the relationship that I have now. So that changed me a lot. And it allowed me to have such support to be able to follow dreams that I've always had that might not have happened. Being on [a] reality show was never something that I dreamt up. But writing a novel has always been a dream, and I might not have had the opportunity or the belief in myself to do this if I had not gone through what could be called a mistake in love on a dating show, so I would say that was probably the biggest.
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Has there ever been a point in your life where you felt like maybe reality TV felt like a mistake?
I think you could look at it like that. I think that's the thing with mistakes, you could make a really bad decision or mistake in life and you can see all the bad that was in it, and there [were] definitely things that were hurtful and that regressed me at some moments, but there were also ways that it propelled me so forward in life and made me more independent and really—I got a lot of dating experience in a short amount of time. Do I think it was a mistake? I mean, I think it's really hard to try to start a relationship on a TV show. I think that's maybe not the easiest, healthiest way to start a relationship. Doesn't mean that it can't work. But for me, that was probably a mistake at the time at my age. But at the same time it really wasn't and I think that's like the story and the book being called Mistakes We Never Made—you have to take the risk for love because just like it might have been a mistake for me, look at Joey [Graziadei] and Kelsey [Anderson]. He took that same risk for love and it ended up working out.
What is your take on situationships and your advice for getting out of them, or out of the friend zone?
I've definitely been in a situationship. I've been a bench girl where, you know, I never get to play, but I'm the first one there if something happens, and that is so frustrating. But I think it's really up to us in that situation to remember our worth and what we really want. And sometimes that's the place you first have to start. How do you actually value yourself? And then I think the relationships around you will really reflect that, good or bad, so it really starts with having that hard conversation or realization with yourself. But look, it's tough. I empathize with that cause, like I said, I've been there. But it's really cool to feel valued and respected and chosen and appreciated by someone. I hope everyone knows that they're worthy of that. No more crumbs. We want the fresh sourdough type of man.
We want the whole loaf!
The whole loaf!
Going back to the book, have there been discussions about adapting this potentially into a series or a movie?
That would be the ultimate dream for this. That was really at top of mind when writing and kind of creating this story, is how can it be adapted for people to see in a visual way? So yeah, that would be really, really awesome...
It's a fast-paced, fun summer read. And, you know, where these two go, it's really, I think, beautiful imagery, as well as some great dialogue that I think would be great on a screen.
The events in the book are leading up to a wedding. You're in the midst of planning your own. How is that going?
It's going! We made a decision to really focus on preparing for our marriage and not so much just the wedding for the first few months of being engaged. And then, of course, I decided it was a good idea to start the wedding process while, you know, fully in this project, promoting it. So it was working for a little bit and now we've had to halt on it a little bit more. Because it's like a full-time thing. It takes a lot of energy and time. But we've got the wedding planner. We're getting close to narrowing down maybe where. We're still in the beginning stages, but it's so fun and I'm really excited to hopefully this summer really get into it.
So probably shooting for a wedding next year?
It's not happening this year. No, no, no. I'm looking at next year, for sure.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
