Going Dutch: Will You Enlist for More of Fox’s Military Comedy? Grade the Premiere!
Denis Leary stars as a hard-nosed military man saddled with a ragtag bunch of lazy soldiers in Fox’s Going Dutch — but did the new comedy earn a salute from you?
Thursday’s premiere introduces us to Leary’s Colonel Quinn, who thinks he’s about to be named commander of a German combat base. His executive officer Shah (Danny Pudi) goes over his credentials for the press release, but Quinn corrects him: “Drop the family stuff. That’s too soft. I’m a man of action.” When Quinn meets with the general (played by Joe Morton), though, he learns the general is taking command of the German base… and Quinn is being relegated to overseeing a lowly service base in the Netherlands. The general has video of Quinn badmouthing him during a training exercise, you see, and is only too happy to send him to a base designed “to drive you insane.”
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Quinn and Shah head to the Netherlands to Stroopsdorf, dubbed “the least important U.S. Army base in the world.” Nobody salutes Quinn when he arrives; they just wave at him happily. The sign outside proudly touts the base’s bowling alley, the guard tower has been overtaken by possums and the soldiers all need haircuts. Quinn is determined to turn this into a badass combat base, but he’s informed that Stroopsdorf specializes in “cheese, laundry and bowling.” It’s sort of a rest stop for weary soldiers, with foosball and arcade games. Quinn demands to see the commanding officer, and is taken to see Captain Quinn… aka Maggie, Quinn’s daughter, played by Dave’s Taylor Misiak.
Maggie likes to reward her soldiers with surprises like a silent disco party, but Quinn has no patience for this gentle approach. Neither father nor daughter is very happy to see each other — he refused to do family therapy with her, and she labels him “a raging narcissist” — and Shah does his best to mediate between them. Maggie informs them her base is preparing to march in the local tulip festival tomorrow, which Quinn scoffs at, but Maggie counters that her base has the highest morale of any base in the U.S. military, with a world-class dining facility. And even Quinn has to admit: The food is pretty excellent.
Quinn wants to whip the soldiers into shape, though, so he orders them outside for some impromptu training. He watches with disgust as they struggle through a basic obstacle course, and he insists on staying until one particularly out-of-shape soldier (Hal Cumpston) makes it through the tire obstacle… even after he complains he has gout, due to “a weakness for rich foods.” Maggie also introduces Quinn to her supply sergeant Conway (iCarly’s Laci Mosley), who reveals she’s taken advantage of the free-flowing military budget to accrue a secret closet full of valuable treasures for the base. Quinn is impressed — and quickly puts her on his personal staff.
At the tulip festival, Maggie tries to prep Quinn with index cards, but Quinn insists he’s better when speaking off the cuff. (He also takes a liking to Katja, a local brothel owner played by The Office’s Catherine Tate.) Quinn starts off his speech by saying how proud he is that his base is part of the community… but he starts to lose his temper when his soldiers march up holding wheels of cheese and do a weird interpretive dance. When he sees them dressed as bowling pins, he explodes, tearing their banner in half and screaming that this country “legalized drugs and ratted out Anne Frank.” Needless to say, the locals are not pleased.
Quinn later approaches Maggie at a restaurant to apologize, but she reminds him she’s not at work, so he’s just her dad now, “and I don’t really talk to my dad.” He storms off, but he calls her later and asks her why she’s in the military if she hates him so much. She admits she wants to be of service and hopes to run for office someday — maybe even president. A-ha, Quinn declares, so she’s just as ambitious as him! He says the look she gave him at the parade was the same look she’d give him as a kid when he disappointed her, and he starts to tear up. Maggie’s never seen him cry before! She runs to see him to get visual confirmation… even though he claims he’s just allergic to tulips.
They agree to work together to make the base better — and soon, Quinn has the soldiers out in the field shooting bowling pins with their military rifles. So will you sign up for a season-long tour of duty with Going Dutch? Give the premiere a grade in our poll, and hit the comments to share your thoughts.
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