Big Brother recap: Zingbot Pulls the Trump Card

Well, here we are guys. I know we say this a lot, but it’s a big week. BEAR WITH ME.

At this point in Big Brother: Temptation Station, or as I’ve come to call it, Big Brother: Everybody Hates Paul, one of two things can happen. Either Mark will go home and a house full of sheep will have to start playing the game, or Marky Mark will rise from the ashes and catapult us into an exciting new era a week early. When we left the team, Perpetual Cereal Eater Matt and Newly Minted Dad Jason were on the block as pawns. Christmas is convinced that even if Mark foils their plan, she’s good because she’s breaking up a power couple.

With no pots or pans within arm’s reach, Josh and Christmas have decided to be decent people to Mark this week, going as far as to even say they like him. Can you imagine? It all comes from Mark taking a Big Brother road less traveled — acting like a decent person, which is as unexpected as any plot twist Julie Chen could come up with. And while they quietly consider what it might be like to eliminate Jason, Paul is still in overdrive. He’s thinking about final fives and scenarios to get him there, which is great gameplay, but we still have weeks of this season left. It must be absolutely exhausting thinking that much that often.

When choices for the veto competition come up, Christmas, Matt, and Jason are joined by Raven (Christmas’ choice??), Paul (Matt’s choice), and MARK. Jason immediately reads into Christmas’ choice as a hit against him, thinking that it means she actually wants him out…otherwise she would have chosen Alex, right? But he only has so long to be suspicious because there’s a sneakier, meaner, more exacting presence in the house, and its name is ZINGBOT. Zingbot is the conduit we beg for; it allows the houseguests to get a small taste of their own medicine. So let’s do a rundown of the zings (some harsh, some perfect):

Josh: You shed so many tears this summer. Too bad you can’t shed any weight.
Christmas: [An entire Christmas carol about her broken foot]
Paul: Last season, you taught me so much. Like how to lose $500,000.
Matt: Congrats on making it so far in the game since the only thing you’ve done is Raven.
Raven: You got the clownitard. That’s the worst punishment ever…oh wait, it’s just your face.
Alex: What do you call someone with bleach-blond hair, likes to wear cat ears, and handles lots of wieners. A #!&@! (Who knows)
Jason: Alex, I see you’ve been forced to carry around a ton of dead weight, or, as I like to call it, “Jason.”
Mark: You might be bye-sexual because every time you try to get with Elena, she says “bye.”
Kevin: I heard you like to use saran wrap to preserve your youth. It’s too late.

Post-zings, we get some VERY surprisingly culturally sound commentary from the Zingbot veto competition. In a competition typically reserved for HOH comps, Zingbot colluded with “President Puntin,” and the houseguests have to transport zingtroleum down a slippery slope to fill up a tank. In laymen’s terms: Lard greases up an area where houseguests must transfer liquid from one tank to another to release a ball. Poor Mark STRUGGLES, and the competition ends up being a three-man race between Matt, Jason, and Paul. With his strategy of going for the larger scoop and then rocketing past Paul, Jason takes the Power of Veto, all but ensuring his safety. Of course, if Matt had won it, who knows how that would have shaken out, but Jason? He’s not the brightest bulb, but he’ll absolutely use the veto on himself, right?

With nothing else to lose, Mark retreats to the HOH room to level with Christmas and Josh and see if there are any deals that could be made. Josh demands specifics, and Mark insists that it’s time for them to go after Alex and Jason because everyone likes them, and if they don’t handle Alex, it may come back to bite them. You have to love Mark for really throwing down and playing the game, even if it took him a minute to come alive.

But when Jason takes himself off the block, Christmas makes the obvious move and throws Mark on the block. It seems that Mark’s fate has been sealed, and we’ll have to wait another week for any actual gameplay to happen. But Mark is also not ready to give up. Do you think he has a chance, or is Mark dead in the water? Hit the comments, and we’ll see you live tomorrow for the eviction.