Drew Barrymore says she turned to alcohol after divorce before finding 'real happiness'

Drew Barrymore is finding happiness after the "crippling difficult" years that followed her divorce from Will Kopelman in 2016.

Barrymore, 47, shared in an interview with People published Tuesday that she felt defeated after divorce because of her dreams of having a close-knit family with their daughters Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8. She and Kopelman also had an amicable split which was both "cleaner" and "harder and more confusing" for her, she said.

The actress moved from California to New York to be closer to her ex-husband's family. In the early days, Barrymore said the change "took me down." Despite being a strong person, "I broke," she said.

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To cope, she turned to a previous addiction from her younger years: alcohol. "It was just trying to numb the pain and feel good—and alcohol totally did that for me," the talk show host said. "The drinking thing for me was a constant, like, 'You cannot change. You are weak and incapable of doing what's best for you. You keep thinking you will master this thing, and it's getting the better of you.' "

Barrymore eventually realized she was pouring so much energy into trying to protect her children that she didn't practice self-care. "It was a messy, painful, excruciating walk through the fire and come back to life kind of trajectory," she recalled.

After making that realization, the "Charlie's Angels" alum went back to therapy, quit drinking and put her focus into her daytime TV show, "The Drew Barrymore Show," which launched in 2020. "It was my kids that made me feel like it's game time," Barrymore told the outlet.

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Barrymore eventually came to the conclusion that she still has a family unit with Kopelman and now his wife, Alexandra Michler. "We've got an awesome family dynamic that proves that life goes on," she said. "The cool thing is all these years later we do have the dream. It's just different than the one I swore would be the case."

Despite her trials and tribulations throughout life, Barrymore told People, "This is the most real happiness I've ever known."

"(Happiness) is a choice. You have to work for that. It is hard to get to some days. And so when you've harnessed it, that feels like such a better victory," she concluded.

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In October 2020, Barrymore opened up about the hardest part of her divorce in an interview with "Today" show's Willie Geist.

As a former child star, the actress said she knows that "from not growing up with any family whatsoever that that was the last thing I wanted to do for my daughters."

Though Barrymore has been candid about the struggles of childhood stardom as the daughter of two famous actors, Jaid and John Drew Barrymore, she said she hopes her children can still enjoy "this amazing family" despite the publicized nature of their divorce.

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"I think that's why I took (the divorce) so hard," she told Geist. "I was like, 'Ugh, the ultimate promise I wanted to make with (Kopelman) and for (him) was to have this amazing family and I found them and there's something not working that isn't livable.' "

But she said it wasn't always easy to talk openly about her personal struggles.

"It took me five years to be able to speak with strength, articulation, perspective, hindsight, and see everything we did right," she said. "Because when we were getting divorced, it felt like everything was just wrong. … I think it applies to everyone who thinks that something will be forever and it's not."

Contributing: Jenna Ryu

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Drew Barrymore talks divorce, drinking to cope and what made her quit