They Don’t Make Chrises Like This Anymore

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Yesterday afternoon, the Esquire staff spent a good couple of hours heatedly debating the correct order of Best Hollywood Chrises. Is Evans better than Pine? Is Hemsworth better than Pratt? Are Chris Nolan and Chris Messina allowed to be considered part of the Chrises? Honestly, none of that matters to me. My ranking (which is the correct one, by the way!) has always and will always rank Chris Pine as the Best Chris. I mean, just look at the guy last week, with his endearingly wacky outfit and frizzy hair. How could you not love him?

I've always been a fan of Chris Pine, but somewhere along the way—after Harry Styles Spitgate—things changed. He started dressing differently. I'm not saying there's a direct correlation between his wardrobe becoming increasingly eccentric and being spit on by one of the most famous singers in the world (Pine denies it happened, but I know what I saw), but that certainly would make for a very good villain (or hero) origin story.

I'm living for it, though! Chris Pine is clearly the best Chris, because who else is doing it like this? Who else is showing up to the Los Angeles premiere of their directorial debut (Poolman is out May 10, by the way) in corduroy short shorts from Banks Journal; a campy, touristy I LOVE L.A. tee; and a tan blazer with an enormous flower boutonniere that kind of reminds me of a clown costume?

I suspect the flower boutonniere would squirt a stream of water out of it, but that's neither here nor there. The long hair. The white beard. The wraparound sunglasses. Chris Pine is doing his thing, and it works. Is it weird? Definitely. But is it fun? Abso-fuckin'-lutely.

So, sorry to every other Chris out there, but you need to step up your game. Embrace your inner freak. Get over yourselves and what Hollywood wants you to look like. Let your hair down and swap your designer suits out for some booty shorts. You guys just aren't doing it like Chris Pine is.

In fact, no one is doing it like Chris Pine is—but I'm damn sure going to start trying, because clearly this guy is onto something. Maybe that "something" is firing your stylist and groomer, maybe it's basking in the glory of simply not giving a damn about playing it safe, or maybe it's just the great art of wearing what you love no matter what anyone else thinks. Kudos, Chris Pine, for stepping outside the box—I'm following your lead, pal.

I Love LA Short Sleeve

Formal Carnation Flower Lapel Pin

Linen Blazer

Big Bear Walkshort

Big Bear Walkshort

6" Utility Corduroy Short

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