Diem Brown: My Dream of Motherhood Is Not Selfish

Courtesy Diem Brown

Diem Brown is big on setting goals: finding the perfect shade of gray to paint her apartment, mastering the use of an Allen wrench to assemble her new coffee table, regaining her strength to walk unassisted by Halloween.

But her biggest goal has always been the same: to someday have kids – something that has drawn criticism from some PEOPLE.com commenters who question her focus on motherhood.

“This seems to really rile some people up and paint me as selfish,” says the MTV reality star, 34, who is fighting on even in the face of recent news that her cancer had spread.

The MedGift founder has candidly chronicled her dream of becoming a mother, including having her eggs harvested and frozen in hopes of someday experiencing pregnancy and childbirth.

An emergency hysterectomy in August ended her dream of carrying a child, but she wants to set the record straight about her desire to still use her eggs via surrogacy at some point.

“I have done all of the genetic [marker] tests for cancer, and each one of those tests came back negative,” she says. “Cancer was never in my genes. Also, [my doctor] at NYU Fertility Center is able to test each egg for any cancer genes before implanting the embryo.”

“I would never wish cancer on a future child, ever,” she continues, adding that she is open to adopting someday as well.

PHOTOS: Diem Brown’s Brave Battle

Some readers have asked whether she regrets not having an earlier hysterectomy during her first battle with ovarian cancer nearly a decade ago.

“Not at all,” says Brown. “When I came out of my [August] surgery, I asked my doctor, ‘Did I do this? Did I do this to myself by not taking my uterus out?’ And she was like, ‘No. It hid behind it. You have a very rare and smart form of cancer.'”

As for those who dismiss her dream as unrealistic, she looks forward to proving them wrong. “I believe in positive thinking,” she says, “and even more so in the power of striving for seemingly impossible goals.”

Friends have set up a support page for Brown on MedGift, a gift registry she founded to help those suffering from any illness.

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Behind-The-Scenes of Diem Brown’s Photo Shoot